Doug Collins @ get this straight @ ED KEATE of West Vancouver is much aggrieved about some guy on the Provinee having called parking lot operators “handits’’. So he complained to the Press Coun- ci it. Alas and alack, his complaint was rejected, Mr. Keate runs the Downtown Parking Corporation and, know- ing Chat PE have ne time for press councils, has we cen me two let. ters in which he details bis peeves. It is no trivial matter, he says, when parking lot people are called bandits. Especially when parking costs in Vancouver are lowee than they are in cities like Toronto, It is true that press councils are a pain in the neck and a blight an the human race, just like human rights (ibunals. Batt cannot fault them for tossing Ed's grievance out the window. If we can't call parking lot operators bandits, what can we call anyone? Besides, banditry is a key component of the human condition. Given the opportunity, business is a bandit. So is labor, The bandit quotient is extremely high, 100, in the ranks of the lawyers. As for the politicians...! 1 myself have called parking lot operators bandits. I have cussed them loud and long for giving me what (they say is a ticket. My crime? Arriving back at a parking lot five minutes too late to put more quarters in the box. In hot pursuit, they had the temerity, by God, to send me threatening letters when I ignored their tandit-like demands for the 28 smackers. More notes follow. ed, quoting City of Vancouver or- dinances in support of their outrageous claims, and threaten- ing an carly death to my credit rating if P didatt come to heel. that ain't banditry, what is? Needless to say, P consigned all their notes to the slush bucket. Death before dishonor. [ have been much encouraged to learn that the practice of sen- ding some poor dope a $25, private enterprise ticket for a tiny oversight like mine is of doubtful legal validity, and that no fess a person than Mr. Roger Hebert, Vancouver’s director of permits and licences, has torn up at least two similar ‘‘tickets’’. He has stated, further: ‘1 suspect they (in this case Impark) are probably making a bundle because people aren't challenging it." God bless you, Hebert old boy. But back to Mr. Keate, who isa nice fellow and the last person on the world ft would suspect of being a bandit. “If the Province can call us ‘bandits’, he wrote indignantly, ‘Gs it in order for parking fot Operators to refer to Province employees as ‘pimps’? They are, alter all, pandering to a segment af society that thrives Ga ridicule, misfortune and inpuenda."" By all means call then pumps, Ed. My guess is that thes tase heen called much worse than that. Then pumpery is evident daily, but if they sue or otherwise com- plain to the Press Cotuneil about you, you may count on me being too busy to attend the proceedings on your behalf. Pin too busy thinking up names for Brian Baloney. Besides, deep dawn we are all pimps, too, just as we are all bandits. Can't think what you're upset about, Ed. You were a member of the newspaper fraternity yoursell, once, and know how difficult it is to be colorful, T regret, though, that you couldn't get that bit of your letter printed in which you told the Province editor his paper had put up its rates 40 per cent. In fairness, however, you can't ex- pect bandits and pimps not to take advantage of a monopoly. Know what [ mean? 1 sympathize, too, when you say that most reporters are ‘very adroit’’ at getting freebies, and hat they resent having to pay for services that ordinary folk must pay for. | take you to mean that we wretches of the ink, not to mention the drink, are not only pimps but disgusting freeloaders, too. Right on, Ed. Just try me with some free parking. This week at councils THERE will be no council meeting in West Vancouver until September 8. NORTH VANCOUVER CITY COUNCIL, Monday, August 11, 7:30 p.m.: Management Informa- tion Services project report/ Con- tracting out report/ Lynn Head- waters Park/ Closing Portions of E 17th St.,/ 1332 Chesterfield Ave.,/ Family suite and day care application/ Stoker Farm/ Mahon Park Stadium. NORTH VANCOUVER DISTRICT COUNCIL, Monday, August 11, 7 p.m. Sanitory sewer connection 2728 Dollarton Highway/ Woodlands-Sunshine and rezoning bylaw re: small por- tions of land in Indian River/ Seymour Blvd., local improvement street reconstruction bylaw/ Edgewood Road-Quinton Place local improvement street reconstruction bylaw and Shone Road, Beaufort Road and Beaufort Place Jocal improvement! “Took at your drapes . and give us a call!s Save %, 3 Sou Drapes, Bedspreads & Quilts Free pick-up & delivery for any order of $20.00 or over. Alterations & Kepairs Deodorizing smoke-damaged clothes, fabrics, etc. ... Ask us aboul our special commercial rate, OYS. Cleaners 987-3431 987-3233 648 Queensbury Ave. 7 \ North Vancouver [i++] OOPS WE GOOFED! We ran the wiong dates for O.K. Service Centre's Grand Opening. it should have been Friday Aug. 8 & Saturday Aug. 9. 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