LIFESTYLES cm appreciation to employer appreciation for a present, or, for working for a thoughtful and that matter, for the experience of generous employer. From page 48 Gne complication is the fact that my ex-wife has no remaining rela- tives of her own nearby, and if she is excluded from these parties, she might spend the holidays by herself. GENTLE READER — As a tule, Miss Manners is wary about this-enlightened-day-and-age pro- jects. She also feels that the’ strain on most divorced people to be polite to each other and subse- quent partners is such that it should only be tested at family events requiring everyone's atten- dance, such as the graduation or wedding of a child. But she has carefully examined and weighed your particular situa- tion, and is going to surprise you (unpleasantly) by coming out against you. The alternative to in- cluding your former wife on these occasions is facing your children with the choice of leaving her alone at Christmas or pulling out from the family party. Making such a choice is, Miss Manners feels, harsher than endur- ing the discomfort you and your wife have in meeting your former wife in a crowd large enough not to force you to have to do more than observe the formalities. FEAR MISS MANNERS — When I wes hired, I was informed that during the Christraas season, if my employer was pleased with me, IG receive a Christmas bonus. The amount of the bonus would vary, and most employees would receive one. . When he handed me an envelope and said, ‘‘Merry Christmas,’ I RADIO CONTROL SAVE OLYMPIC 20H BUILT & COVERED, 95% RTF! BUILT & COVERED, 95% ATF! 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