4 - Friday, May 28, 1993 — North Shore News Choosing sides: new victh NO DOUBT you remember ‘social progress.’’ It was supposed to help people. We were going to be made happier. Presumably, if we had more and more and eventually all of it, we would be 100% happy. So happy that, as my old mother would say, we couldn’t stand ourselves. No, | suppose that’s not right: we could never stop progress. So we can never be completely hap- py. H.G. Wells, a social optimist- turned-pessimist and an almost forgotten writer who was once tremendously popular, put some- thing ironic into the mouth of his English working-class character, Mr. Polly. “This *ere progress,’” marvelled Mr. Polly, ‘keeps goin’. It’s wonderful ’ow it keeps goin’.”’ Isn't it? For example, take divorce. Around 25 years ago I staun- chly advocated divorce reform. I wanted one myself, which may have slightly influenced my views. At that time the only ground for divorce was (unforgiven) adultery, cxcept in one or two provinces where hopeless insanity was a further ground. Divorce was really quite excep- tional, In 1921, only 558 divorces were granted in the whole country. By 1968 the number had risen to about 11,000. in a very large proportion of those cases, the parties got around the narrow provisions of the divorce law through collusion — naming, through the obliging in- termediaries (the lawyers and the private detectives), an adulterous co-respondent whom the ‘‘guilty”’ partner might never have even seen. But in thar year, 1968, Parlia- ment drastically expanded the grounds for divorce. The following year the divorce rate per 100,000 population rocketed from about 55 to 125. And, within a decade, it doubled again. The dreadful old days of what an English exponent of divorce reform had called ‘*holy deadlock*’ had vanished. The other day } got a letter that suggests just how far we've ‘‘pro- gressed.”’ : A woman in a somewhat less Trevor Lautens “4 GARDEN OF fashionable suburb than West Vancouver wrote me: “‘in the hope that you will write... ona situation that is all too common today, but is really given no publicity. “We hear constantly about the poor deserted woman, raising her children on welfare, ‘*What of the poor man whose wife no longer wants him around, whose children have been turned against him, and whom the justice system drives into the ground by taking what is left of his self- esteem and self-confidence and livelihood?”’ She then describes the plight of her two brothers — obviously among the unwealthy and unglamorous of mankind. Also: unyoung. **One is 55 years old,’ his sister writes. ‘‘His wife asked him to leave her and his daughters because she no longer wanted to live with him and could live better on welfare, **This man was never abusive to mother or daughter. He provided to the best of his ability — they had a trailer nearly paid for, two cars, went out to dinner once a week, and no debts."’ He suffers from a birth disabili- ty. He has a Grade 7 education. He has never earned more than $7,000 a year — Jast year only $5,000, including unemployment insurance payments. A judge ordered him to pay $1,200 a year in child support. He's living on bread, margarine and tea. Some “progress.” The second brother’s case is more complex. He's 50. Only a Grade 8 educa- Turn to Sussex's Back Page in Today's Real Estate Section For registration and a chance to win Fabulous Prizes DRESS YOUR HOME FOR SUCCESS When you want to make a great impression, looking good is impor- tant. The same is true of a home that is on the market, and when the “For Sale" sign goes up, your home should be dressed for the occasion. “The first impression will be from the front yard, so a well-groomed exte- rior is crucial, from landscaping to paint. Inside, your home should be as clean and tastefully decorated as you can make it. It is a good idea to fix any cracked plaster or peeling paint. Sparkling kitchen and baths, squeaky clean windows, and made beds will help your home to “shaw well” Keeping a home look- ing its best is hard work, especially if you have children and are in the middie of packing your family for a move. A hone that looks good and well- cared for has an excellent chance of selling quickly for top collar. For professional advice on all aspects of buying or selling real estate, talk to Don Boychuk “The Real Estate Man” at RE/MAX West Realty Group. RE/MAX West Realty Group iS of divorce e o nty-Nine Dollar European Facial Experience your skin at its finest, with a Chez Elle Esthetics unique European Facial. Yours for just $29 — a $60 value. Your skin will benefit from ous rejuvenating five step program which includes a special cleansing process, a relaxing massag:, gentle deep pore cleansing, skin refining treatment, and nourishing masque. The European treatment at a realistic price. Chez Elle ESTHETICS 1369 Marine Drive, West Vancouver 922-1225 REO , tion. He was doing well as a unionized worker until his wife, whom he married 13 years ago and who already had two children, asked him to leave the house. The court ordered him to pay $472 every two weeks for those children, even though his wife was earning $17.90 an hour as a hos- pital worker and was getting $300 a month child support from her first spouse, He was Jaid off in February. He couldn’t make his support payments. He looked hard for work and got a temporary $8.10-an-hour job at an unclassy department store. The judge i ordered him to pay the arrears. He’s moved in with the sister and her retired husband. She gets angry about dead-beat husbands, she writes, ‘‘but the other side of this situation is this. These men did their best for their families and, when they were no longer wanted, were thrown out. “My brothers are just two vic- tims of a system that chooses sides, and of course the woman is always the winner.”* No, not always. But release from the abuses of ‘‘holy deadiock"’ had indeed had an ironically progressive effect. It’s led to some new abuses. And new victims, When You Have £& Smail Screw Loose. Keep a sharp eye on things with regular maintenance and repairs. S Douglas Optical Dispensary Ltd. 1685 Marine Drive in West Vancouver 925-2110 ENERGY SAVER SPA Fully insulated Beachcomber 690 spa sheil with i-beam construction, insulated plumbing, insulated cover and 1 1/2 HP power source gate $2497. 270-4427 852-6255 478-9803 588-6971 $20-0036 942-6070 431-0624 938-7727 BURNABY 3430 Brighton Avonus COQUITLAM 970 Westwood Street METROTOWH CENTRE RORTH VANCOUVER 1550 Marine Or. 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