poo a NER 8k 38 — Sunday, September 17, 1989 — North Shore News LIFESTYLES Reader seeks advice on dining etiquette Q. TL bave worked as a waitress all my life, in many different types — of establishments. The same issues seem in dispute, year afier year, among my co-workers and superi- ore. ‘ 1. Are seafood forks meant ovly for shellfish that would be difficult to eat with a dinner fork, or must they pierce every. lemon wedge that leaves the kitchen, without regard to purpose? 2. Whea 2 glass of iced tea is served on a tablecloth, should there be an underliner for the spoon? Should the lemon be on the giass or on the liner? 3. Is there any. reason for using cocktail napkins on s tablecloth? 4. Wher some customers order more courses than others at their table is there any way to pacify those left empty-handed while they are waiting for the next course? 5. When a dish such as an ap- petizer platter is t< be shared, I set it centrally and provide each per- son with an empty plate of the ap- propriate size. Should I provide serving pieces and/or offer to serve it myself? 6. Bo the rales of formal wear apply when it serves a3 a uniform? I feel black ties and commerbunds or vests.are sufficient, but many employers have required me to wear odd colors tc match the napkins, menu covers, drapes or whatever. It mskes. me feel uphol- stered rather than dressed. I also question | the use of wing-tip eal. 7. When a large party (eight to-15 people) is served a ta carte, is it permissible tc clear dishes from those who have finished akead of others? (Of course this should not be done in 8 manner that would make others feel rushed.) I would do this only in the interest of more efficient service. 3. When I began waitressing many years ago, I was taught to ‘be at- tentive and unobtrusive. In recent years, I’ve noticed 2 trend toward “friendlier” service. Such things as introdsciag myself by name, an- nouncing that I’m your waitress (isn’t that obvicus?) and asking “How are you this evening?” seera out of place to me. Please don’t tell me the old-fashioned greeting, “Welcome to Smith’s — may I get you a cocktail?’ (or check your coat, or tell you this evening’s specials) is no longer suffictent. A. At what establishment are you working now? Miss Manners would love to dine somewhere where they debate the nicetics of service instead-of customers. She is RECYCLE THIS NEWSPAPER happy for the opportunity to join “L Lemen halves would just as soon squirt people in the eye as lock at them, and one can hardly ‘blame their potential victims from taking up arms in the form of seafood forks. However, the restaurant proper- ly provides such a fork for the shellfish. Those interested in pro- tecting their customers from attack can wrap the lemon half in gauze. 2. Even if the restaurant feels it is not soiling enough laundry, there should be an underliner for an iced-tea spoon because the con- siderate customer will not be hap- py putting a wet spoon or: the ta- blecloth. Miss Manners prefers the manners Judith Martin lemon to be offered con the side, but tolerates the pravtice of placing it jauntily on the edge of the glass. 3. Even when the cocktail napkin is not needed as a substitute coast- er, it is useful to protect the drinker’s hand from the cold of the ice-filled glass. 4. If these people were ravenous to the point of requiring pacifica- tion, they would have ordered more food. It is best to allow them North Vancouver Recreation Commission to make do with the rolls, hoping they won’t devour the napkins. If yon serve them their main courses early, you wili only come out unevenly at the end. 3. Some people want six, and some don’t want any. The best would be for you to take the plat- ter around the table, ailowing people to serve themselves. If you don’t have the time for that, pro- vide them with serving pieces. 6. Decorating the staff to go with the chairs also strikes Miss Man- ners as peculiar at best. The plain version of black tie, which has become standard for waiters in good restaurants, is more profes- sional-looking. She would like to add that there should be a femi- nine version of this — waitresses should not have to dress like Marlene Dietrich, cither. Miss Manners happens to share your distaste for the wing-collared shirt with black tie for ordinary formal dress, as well as for waiter’s uniforms. But surely you aren’t suggesting that the staff work in shirtsleeves. 7. There is no way to clear dishes while some people are still eating without making them feel obliged to say, ‘‘I guess I’ve been doing al! the talking’? and start shoveling it 8. Hurrah for you. Restaurants are places where people go to be with friends, not to make new ones, and all that nonsense you describe is undignified for the pro- fessional worker and annoying for the patron. Flight attendants have revolted against the mandate to do pseudo-socializing, and waiters and waitresses should, too. Miss Manners is looking for- ward to that dinner. INTERNATIONAL TOP KARATE At Rec Centre McDougal Achieve fitness, new skills and confidence. ITK Karate is a combination of Karate technique and boxing skills. Classes taught by Grandmaster Atimed AboukKhazaal. Suitable for children, youth and adults. Levels: All leveis from Kids “3 Karate to Black Belt Times: Classes held twice per week plus practice gym times avaiiable with the instructor Fees: Can be paid monthly or by session Register: In person at recCente Lonsdale 123 E.23rd St., North Vancouver Call 988-6166 for Information . HADASSAH BAZAAR & EXPOSITION Wed., Nev. ist & Thurs., Nov. 2nd, 1989 | at the P.N.E. 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