Wednesday. October 11, 2000 - North Shore News - 23
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PAE EET OGY NCTE eT

AS a teacher, and a father of three bovs, I have
heard the expression “boys will be boys” enough
to wince at the very outset of it.

The problem is that this simple litle statement gets used to
justify a whole host of behaviours, most of which are obnox-
tous. When someone says it. they really mean boys are nat
abte to control certain impulses and hence canner be held

~ accountable personally since they are guiley by gender.

Physical confrontations, hyper-competitiveness. high risk-
taking behaviours, and bad
tempers all seer te fall under

-- the motte of boys being
boys. Parents of young boys
often excuse such issues
“natural,” or even wors:, cel-
ebrate their demonstration of
such characteristics through
sports. Dads, in particular,
putt their chests aut when on Parental ee) ci . a
their tittle boys are the most ‘ Guidance ° NEWS photo Mike Wakefield
aggressive on the field and ———— ;
the most driven in competi- ; S e Hk 0 ul r Sa j e :
tion. We not only accept these testosterone-challenged behav- y
iours, but we reinforce them. It all seems so innocent until a :
few years pass, and the pattern. in an adolescent or young SEYMOUR Heights elementary students (from left) Claire, Alison, Kelly and (et rear) Leanne show some of the
adult is not nearly as pretty! items for grabs at the Gocd As New sale Saturday, Oct. 14, 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at 2640 Carnation St., North Van.

- Take the physically aggressive youth and put him into a . : : : . :
teen or young adult body, Let him show his bad temper at :
school or with a girlftiend and you have the making of a delin-
quent and pozential abuser. Take those obnoxious children’s
behaviours and turn them into obnoxious teen behaviours and
you have high energy, aggressive risk-takers quite prepared to
get their licence at 16 years of age and drive a. 2,000-pound —__
weapon around the. roads, What group is the highest insurance
risk based on accident claims? Young men being boys.

T'll be the first to admit that there is an energy to boys that
is different than girls, and by nature, it tends to be niore *
aggressive. As'a general rule their games are more physical,
their behaviours more risky and their tempers closer to the

. surface. We cannot cRange their nature, bur we can certainly
direct it and chénnel this energy into more positive directions

than confrontation and out-of-control behaviour. To do so,
we need strong mate role models who can demonstrate that
“boys being boys” does not exclude them from being genile-
men. - ;

— Asa father of three pretty typically testosterone-driven |
boys, I have taken a very strong stand against overt aggres-
sion, against carcless and impulsive behaviours and against dis:
respectiul talk about anyone. P have coached them in sports
and told them to play hard, but play fair. When they haven't, |
have taken them out and let them sit on the sidelines. I have

. Seughe thent to look competitors in the eve after any game,

“win or loss, and congratulate them sincerely on their play.

> Tour home [ demonstrate the respect [ have for their

~ mother and [ constantly reinforce the importance of being

©. gracious to everyone: Udo noc allow aggressive negativity in

. the way they speak to each other, about others, and especially
to.adults. Above all, I maintain my own composure and try, in,’

. See Teach page 2

cy NIRSTIE
&

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