38 - Sunday, April 28, 1991 - North Shor® News Office intruders destroying atmosphere MANNERS From time to time a co-worker and { bring in some sort of treal, such as a birthday cake or special holiday goodies, for the people in our group. Our wudith Martin DEAR MISS MISS MANNERS work space is visible from the hallway, but very definitely not in a com- munal area. of North Vancouver. Drama Workshops Film and Video Workshops Speech Arts Workshops Pianc Workshops String Workshops IMAGES & OBJECTS Carpenters & Head Carpenter You are invited to volunteer for the B.C. Festival of the Arts, May 22 - 26 in the District WE NEED: VOLUNTEER CO-ORDINATORS FOR VENUES Vaca! Workshops Site Managers People we don't know, who don’t bother to introduce themselves, simply stop in passing, help themselves. und then go on their merry way. Our initial cesponse was one of stack-jawed disbelief: however, the second reaction was a temptation to inquire whether these people had been raised in the proverbial bara. Sharing is not a concern. We are simply seeking an appropriate- ly polite yet stern remark with which to address these people. GENTLE READER — Since you have eschewed ‘‘Where were you brought up — in a barn?” Miss Manners takes it you are looking for something polite. How about introducing yourself, asking your visitors who they are, and telling them the occasion being celebrated? This is not to say that Miss Manners believes you need feed the entire operation. But the boundaries of an office party that is held in space plainly visible to others are vague at best. By treating these people as guests, you will encourage them to exhibit guestlike behavior, such as gratitude and perhaps even reciprocation. DEAR MISS MANNERS — Brass & Woodwind Workshops Exhibit Attendants My 28-year-old daughter will be marrying for the second time, and she would like her seven-year-old daughter to be a flower girl. However, she feels that) her eight-year-old son is a little old to be a ring bearer, so she would like him to come ia frem the side, as is the custom in our church, with the groom and groomsmen, and stand neat to the best man at the altar. Do you agree that he is too old to be a ring bearer, and if so, is this a viable alternative? in either case. what is the pro- per attire? Neither of us cares for tuxes on fitde boys, but we feel he is too big for short pants. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners finds herself amused at how you managed, with one ques- tion, to arouse both what is rigid about etiquette and what is flexi- P ICTURE A GREAT R.V. PAIR! 5449 Control, matches TV. $34 THE PALM-SIZE CAMCORDER Palmcorder (us) 110/12 Volt TV, 11'* Screen, Remote Control. Great colour picture! 110/12 Volt, VHS Player. Remote ble. She is in the peculiar position of wanting to back vou up and to lighten you up at the same time. Absolutely, miniatiire versions of gentlemen's evening clothes are not worn by bovs under the age of 18. Miss SMlanners is even) more firm about that than vou are. But she would never try to ex- plain to a child that the one-vear age difference between him and his sister means that she will have a major rote in the wedding party and he will not. Miss Manners would prefer to have both children standing at the altar witnessing the ceremony at close hand, since it affects them so directly. DEAR MISS MANNERS — } am 2 married 26-year-old career woman, aad with every year that progresses, I seem to be asked more and more, ‘‘When are you sound systern PANASONIC 21” REMOTE DOME STEREO TV Exceptional sound and picture clarity. Full audio & video control from remote with on-screen menu. AV inputs. Sleep timer. going to have a baby?"’ Pm very ticed of hearing this. Unfortunately, because of a medical condition, my husband and Pare csutioned not to have a baby, alihough we would like one. Eve tried responses tike “How soon tio vou have to Know?" but it reatly doesn't seem to help. GENTLE READER — Actually Miss Manners thought your an- swer was a scream, and she can’t understand why it didn't work. What did these people possibly find to reply? Oh, never mind. Those who cannot learn from a joke (this one being just this side of Miss Man- ners’ line distinguishing jokes from insulting retorts, which she does not allow) must be told, “That is something [ do not care to discuss.”° $549 SPECIAL! 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