. invotving sporis. j — Sunday, September 27, 1992 — North Shore News LIFESTYLES | Many factors. determine custody Family Affairs KIRSTIE” MACLISE HUGH . STARK _ HAVE. been married for 15 years. and have three wonderful children aged seven, aine and 12. For some years my wife and I have not. gotten afong and it’s. now: at the point- where it’s simply . intolerable... - “We have tried marrizge counsel- ‘ling: several times with no success . and my wife is not willing to try ‘again. Quite frankly, I agree with . ber in that respect.. ~ My wife will nat meve out. of : the home and the only reason 1 ‘Rave not left is that-I am afraid “that I will not get, custody of the ° children. : We. both work: full time so there is. mot seally- all. that much dif- ference.in.the time we spend with the children'at. the current. time. She; inkes them to some extra- curricular. activities and I. take them .to most. of their activities “We. also. do some things together asa fasnily but these are “s We.--are. both. close - to the children and. don’t think any one “ef. hem would chouse between us, “ner dol want them to be placed ‘in :a” position: where fmey would she: -ahways - gets custody and the father gets left out of the “fives of the chitdren. Is that true? includes 21 at. safety inspection, diesels - extra fl _¢ COOLING § SYSTEM FLUSH 79°" Includes antifreeze & additives will always get custody as opposed to the father or that by one party obtaining custody, the other pariy is necessarily excluded from the lives of the children. In determining custody, a court will look at many factors. The best interest of the child is the overriding factor the court applies. in awarding custody. . However, that factor is ex- tremely wide and allows great discretion in the court. For example, a court will look at such factors as the proposed living -arrangements for the children in the two households, their proximity to schooling and friends, the relationship of the child to each of the parents and the attitude of each parent in at- tempting to ensure that the other. - spouse will have a positive and rewarding relationship with the children. . Unfortunately, all too often one parent does eventually find himself or herself excluded from the lives of the children where positions have been polarized by litigation. Where, however, spouses can ‘come te a mutually acceptable res- idential arrangement for the children, custedy can be shared. ’ That arrangement can be placed in a separation agreement. In arriving at a parenting ar- rangement, many factors should be considered other than just the sharing .of time spent with -the - children. For..example, the number and type of extra-curricular activities “the children will attend, which school and which doctors they will _ attend. The manner in which. decisions will be made therefore should be addressed. You. should attend upon a lawyer experienced in family law matters, so that you can obtain advice as to your chances of suc- cess for obtaining custody of the children, .. You should. also discuss in detail. the various factors that should be considered in arriving at a suitable parenting. arrangement should you be able to discuss the matter with your wife. I am a widow aged 64, my hus- band having passed away approx- imately eight years ago. — About a year ago’ I met a wonderful man aged 68 who lost his wife approximately three years ago. We are both very happy and would like to be married. However, both of us have built up a fair estate over the years with the help of our former spouses, which we would like to pass on to our respectivé families. My son has told me that if I remarry I will not be able to give him and my daughter my estate, and that it will go to my new husband should | die first. My son seems very much agains! the marriage but I think his feelings relate mostly to his fears that my estate will end up | with my uew husband's children. I really want to be married, but I also think that when I die my children should be entitled to receive the property their father and I built up together. The man I wish to marry feels the same way about his property and his family. You and the man whom you wish to marry should seek the ad- vice of separate -lawyers.’ with regard to the preparition of a marriage agreement.. Wills should be drafted in ac- cordance with your wishes, as well as the marriage agreement: . “It is most likely that the mar- riage. agreement and the wills can alleviate your concern. about your respective children receiving their parents’ property on your death. When the. marriage agreement and wills are completed, you may wish to show them well. The questions - and ‘answers _ given in this column. are.for gen- eral information only. If you have. matrimonial problems you. should seek legal advice so that your ad- viser can assess your. particular: circumstances and give you the best advice. Questions about fami- ly law and estates can be directed to Stark & MacLise. c/o. Family Affaizs, North Shore News, 1139 Lonsdale Ave.,. North Vancouver V7M 2H4, ~ VANCOUVER JEEP EAGLE TUNE UP ea 4CYL. 6 CYL. | 8CYL. includes sparks plugs - filters extra FUEL. INJECTOR SERVICE ‘Flush injectors & Retest for correct calibration 5g Tass g4°5 . SB9°>. 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