4 ~ Wednesday, December 4,

Se

PARTIES.-{ don’t go to them that often. For

-1985:°~ North ‘Shore News

vt

| Bob Hunter

© strictly personal e

«

-one thing, I usually drink, and while I don’t
ALWAYS make an ass of myself, it has been
known to happen. It runs in the species.

In the bad old days, like
a lot of other folks, I
would actually sometimes
drive home in a less than
totally alert fashion. "Nuff
‘said.
Now, of course, I’m one
of the legions of Goodie
Two-Shoes whose. con-
science has been reached by
the MADD campaign or
those billboards and com-
mercials showing a little
guy asking his lunched-out
Dad not to drive.

It could be I’m just
maybe growing up. But
that seems unlikely at this
stage. You can't break the
mold. Besides, I’m not the
only one affected.

It is hard to say, exactly,
what causes a change in
public attitudes. But I do
know it has become some-
what chic to worry about
getting home alive. I even
know hosts (I’m one of
them) who start watching
their guests’ booze con-
sumption about halfway
through the evening, and
start offering coffee at
least an hour before you
think you can hope to get
tid of them. ©

If somebody’s over for
an evening, of socializing
(i.e., getting tanked and
blathering), unless they’re
going to be taking a cab
home, we try to get them
to stay overnight. There’s
an extra bed, a cabin at the
back and a foldout sofa, so
why take a chance on dying
horribly or, more likely,
running over somebody’s
teenager?

I know, this sounds, all
very wimpy. What hap-

pened to old macho blind
drunk drag-racing through
the neighborhood at 2 a.m.
to impress the girls? Dun-
no. It just doesn’t seem so
cool any longer.

Of course, taxis aren’t
cheap, but the dent they
put in your cash flow sim-
ply doesn’t comapre to a
dent in your head.

My favorite taxi com-
pany, Sunshine Cabs, of-
fers a wonderful service
that has probably saved my
life a few times. The nice
thing about being taken
home in a Caddie is that
you can pass. out quite
comfortably in the back. In.
fact, a whole gang of you
could.

The Christmas party
season makes rne uneasy, [
must admit. Losing my
nerve, I guess. As the in-
vitations begin to arrive,
the logistics of yuletide
survival become a domi-
nant theme. How can I go
to this, this and that, and
come out alive?

What my wife and I do
is alternate. At one yule
bash, she stays sober and
drives. At the next, I do. If
you can’t work a dea! out
like that, the next most
sensible thing is to get
together with some other
people and split a cab.

An interesting side-effect
of staying sober at a party,
of course, is that the urge
to leave comes a lot
sooner. When. you're not
‘stoned yourself, the in-
credibly witty things

everyone is saying might
still seem incredible, but
witty?

THE

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TRAINED.

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North Vancouver

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My wife and I have a
system of subtle signals for
these situations. We agree
on a time beforehand.
Once the gong strikes mid-
night, or whatever, if I
have been the one permit-
ted to drink, it is her duty
to get me out, even if |
have become crazed with
sociability.

In this case, a simple /

knee to the gui and a
karate chop across the
back of the neck as I
crumple to the floor usual-
ly do the trick. In the event
that she’s the drinker, well,
it is my task to throw a
hammerlock on her and
wrangle her out the door.
There are a few places
down in the States where
the hosts have been found
liable by the courts in cases
of drunken guests running
someone over on the way

home. This has the ring of [

a bell-wether. 1 wouldn’t
wish it on us, but there is a
certain logic involved, a
variation on the ancient

Chinese notion that if you }

saved a person’s life, you
became responsible for
them.

If you cause someone,
through pouring them
drinks ali night, to kill or
be killed, the law may not
at the moment point a
finger .at you, but the
moral truth is it is your
fault almost as much as
your guzzling guest’s.

Hey. I’m just the bearer
of the news. I can’t stand
Perrier myself and coffee
late at night keeps me
awake for hours. But nei-
ther one of them kills me,
or anyone else.

Goodie, Two-shoes sign-
ing out.

Sundays:
Mon. - Fri.

_ OPEN SUNDAYS. OPEN
. LATE WEEKNIGHTS.

TWO NORTH Shore post
Offices will join 20 other
post offices in the Lower
Mainland in opening on the
three Saturdays prior to
Christmas. .

West Vancouver's post
office and the North Van-
couver Main office will be
open Sat., Dec. 7, 14 and 21
from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

The extended hours are
being i:nplemented to both
improve service and help
hristmas shoppers who are
mailing last-minute items or
wish to purchase postal pro-
ducts.

The mailing deadline for
out-of-town items (first-
class) is December 11th. In
town items should be mailed

Post offices open Saturdays

by December 16.

Canada Post Corporation
also announced last month a
two-cent discount on postage
for Christmas cards mailed
to destinations in Canada.
Special stamps packaged in
booklets of ten, which sell
for $3.20, became available
in all postal outlets last
month.

Ir
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The Centre of Attention for 35 Years.
1950-1985

PARK ROYAL.

2]