50 - Wednesday, May 8, 1985 - North Shore News

Too much
hospitality

From Page 49

vacation partners.

The open-ended invitation
- ‘Feel free to use our pool
(ski lodge, lawn mower, ser-
vices as a babysitter)
whenever you like’’ - is a sure

sign of it. The fact is that
people do not generally .want
those outside of their vary in-
timate circles to ‘‘feel free”
to partake of what. they
themselves should retain the
rights to offer as they see fit,
and to have regarded as

generosity each time, not as a
standing obligation.
Entertaining that the pro-
spective host regards as
obligatory, rather than plea-
sant, should be scrutinized
for the element of excess.
Chances are that the people
that you dread inviting
because you have nothing to

say to them, also dread the
invitation because thay have
nothing to say to you. But
they may feel as obliged to
accept as you feel to issue the
invitation, and then they owe
you, issue another invitation,
and you feel obliged to
accept.

The result is either miss-

pent time or the vague misery
of social guilt. "
Those subject - to
Pickwickian fits probably
already know that, not only
from sad experience but
because their spouses, forced
to participate in the resuits,
keep them. What they don’t
know is how to stop.

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