*

What's i ina name anyway?
There's an entire school of thought — called | the

Kabilarian. philosophy — which says that names
are the major determining factor in a person's life.

hg hate to think that this is

e. What can you do with a

namé like Bob, for instance?

Spell it backwards and it's
still Bob...

_As for what “bob” means,
it's either.a shilling, a weight
on: ‘a plumb fine, a float, a
short haircut, or a jerky; up-
and-down motion -—- which
you may interpret any way
you like. —

A last name like Hunter is
okay, I guess. I tell my kids:
“Look, there are. two kinds
of people in the world. The
Hunters and the hunted.”

‘That gets lots of yuks
around - the dinner table,
although ‘ no one outside the
immediate family seems to
find it all that amusing.

I got ribbéd a lot in
Newfoundland a few years
ago when I. went there to
protest. against the seal hunt.
Once, in fact, I tried to calm
down a mob of angry
Newfies by making a joke.

“With a name like
Hunter,” I told these seal
hunters, “I can't be all bad.”
The joke fell flatter than a
flipper — but you see the
point.

I remember, as a kid,
there was one girl who was

FULL ELECTION RESULTS

IN WEDNESDAY'S NEWS

Two major topics for
British Properties,
Chartwell and Glenmore Homeowners:
Future transportation in the province, and
Responsible School Board Budgeting

Attend this Important Annual General Meeting of the
British Properties and Area Homeowners Association.

Moet:

MARK SAGER

' everyone

worshipped by every boy for
miles around, and she wasn't
actually all that beautiful. It
was her name: Dawn
Greenfields. We stood in
mute awe of her.

During the last provincial
election, A noticed there was
doomed from the beginning
because of his name. He was
a Socred: Les Keen.

I mean, if your last name
was Keen, and your Dad
mamed you Les, wouldn't
you want to strangle the old
man in his sleep later on in
life?

It can't be a coincidence
that Mac-Blo, the forestry
giant, hired a guy named
Eric Green as their PR man.
It’s a perfect PR move. All
Eric has to do, .really, is sit
there and be Green.

In School, every kid I
knew who was named Arm-
strong had strong arms.

I know one guy who
changed his name from
Moishe to Moses and still
revels in the fact
tends to bow
slightly when they address
him

My favourite “name” story
occurred only recently.
There was a court case in
new York in which soft-core

that”

HON. JACK DAVIS

child porno star Brooke
Shields was involved.

‘Her mother tried to sue
Playboy magazine to prevent
the publication of - some
photos taken back before
Brooke made it big by a
professional photographer.
~ They consisted of various
shots of Brooke, then. only 10
years. old, covered in oil,

_ Standing around naked.

The name of the
photographer?

Gary Gross.

Yes, folks, this is real life

we're talking about.

In Russia, they've got such
a terrible alcohol problem —
mainly with vodka — that
they've set up a new ministry
to try to cope with it.

And so — are you ready?
— they appointed exactly
the right man for the job:
Comrade Smirnoff.

Closer to home, I hope
you noticed that there was
quite a ruckus going on in
Alberta among. the
separatists. Seems they
couldn't agree among
themselves exactly which
way they wanted to split.

The guy who emerged as
the winner in the end, which
means that he is un-
doubtedly
Western separatist of the lot,
is — you guessed it — Wes
Westmore.

1 kid you not.

; decided. ;
maximimum fine and make. .

the most rabid .

NOISY PEOPLE, animals no
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‘in North
Vancouver District may be
faced with a $1,000 fine if

changes must still be ap-
aia in regular council

convicted, council decided _, But t th

last week..

The current limit on noise - viola

bylaw violations is $100, but
council; ‘meeting as a Policy
and‘ _ planning: committee,
to increase the

other minor changes to the

By appointment 984-9817
if no answer call 985-8634

OPEN: Mon. to Thurs. 9:00 - 7:00
Fri. 9:00 - 9:00; Sat. 9:00 - 6:00

- tence “if: the. “changes: are:
approved: ..

' Only ~: Alderman * Ernie’
-Crist. opposed the changes,

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RICHMOND
6061 NO. 3RD
270-7571

re

Vice-Chaimnman, Finance Committee
West Vancouver School Board

This ia an important opportunity tor you to participate in the annual election of directors tor 1981
nominations may be recetved trom the floor

This is your organization, working on your behalf to maintain property vatues and the pleasant at
mosphere of living in West Vancouver Attend. and help us hetp you Further detatis in tho tatest
tasue of “Tally-Ho ™

Westcot School, 8 p.m., Wednesday, November 25, 1981.

MLA BURNABY SEYMOUR

OM SUM

Saturday & Sunday 11:00-3:00

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