OK. WERE COMING INTO B.C.
JEMISON ANY WAR TOYS, VENT VIDEOS
OR GAINES, ANYTHING NOT GENDER-NEUTRAL.

” NON BIODEGRADABIE.,
ENVIRONMENTAL

RECYCLABLEABLE
FRIENDLY AND NOT

POLITICALLY CORRECT...

NEWS VIEWPOINT
Christmas presents

EING THE night before Christmas,
the spirit of giving abounds, even on
Rao cynical editorial pages.

On the North. Shore, local politicians are
‘in seed of many things, not the least of
which is: some enthusiastic encouragement
from all voters to stick to election promises
and to pare the fat from public budgets
and reduce the burden upon local tax-

_ payers,

That burden is far from festive. It is tur-

‘ning one and.all to Scroogeness and away

‘from Tiny Timness. Elsewhere other gifts

are in order.

North Vancouver District. Mayor Murray
’ Dykeman. coufd use a sextant with which to
keep . his - chronically rudderless district
council ship on course in the new year. In

‘| North Vancouver City, Mayor Jack Loucks -

‘ would benefit from a hefty dose of inspira-
tion to apply to the planning of a revitaliz-

ed Lower Lonsdale.

And in the reget hills of West Van-
couver, Mayor Mark Sager needs a set of
sharper fiscal pencils to reduce the weight
of taxes now being borne by his loyal sub-
jects.

Former councillors Rod Clark and Paul
Turner deserve a ‘small toast of festive egg
nog to recognize their efforts in exercising
the focal democratic process by abandoning
safer’ councillor seats in an attempt to
unseat the mayoral incumbents in North
Vancouver City. and Nerth Vancouver
District, respectively.

; Tovail others in political life, we turn the
‘tables and ask them for some simple pifts:
honesty, integrity and accountability.

Filling these humble wish lists will help
ensure that’ we all enjoy a Merry
Christmas. ;

Get radar going to catch road iunatics

Dear Editor:

This situation has gone on dur-

The tire tracks run right
through where people line up (in

The: recent placement of a bus
stop, 100. feet east of its former

placement at Riverside Drive and:

-Dollarton Highway has created a
potentially dangerous situation.

;, ‘When: we turn left into our
*. driveway; or other neighbors do
the same,. the cars’ behind us

. heading -east. on Dollarton  in-
variably .swing’ right) around us
rather than ‘wait until we have
turned.

On top of it we usually get
honked at. and lewd gestures to
top it off.

All for just turning into our
driveway.

Publisher .
Managing Editor. .

Peter Speck
. Timothy Renshaw

ing the whole six years we've been
here.

. Now this escape lane for impa-
tient drivers is routed through a
bus stop, which at least before
was safely off to the right in a
bay.

Apparently the drivers don’t
like turning back into traffic on a
bend, yet I’ve never seen or heard
any ‘altercations outside in that
intersection.

Now these drivers are driving
right through an underlit (properly
speaking: unlighted) area next to a
dark stretch of forest.

Display Advertising 980-0511
Real Estate Advertising 985-6982

Distribution
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the dark) for the bus.

When we turn left these people
are right in line with speeding, an-
noyed drivers who are barging
ahead at any cost.

I would suggest putting radar
here regularly to possibly catch
some of these lunatics.

A good time is 5 to6 p.m. ona
weeknight.

These cars also menace any pe-,
destrian walkng along that side of
Doilarton,

Gregg Simpson
North Vancouver

988-1337 $3

CHRISTMAS WEEK is viewed with horror oy columnists,
It’s been known to reiuce even the most hardened and

cynical of them to tears.

Not tears of sentimentality or of
remorse for all the gratuitous
badmouthing spewed forth for 12
months by their word processors. .

No, just tears of utter despair.

For 51 weeks a year the colum-
nist earns his Kraft dinners by
persuading readers they are being
regaled with new and meaningful
thinking on every subject under
the sun. But what in Heaven's ~
name can one say new and mean-
ingful about Christmas? Consider
the odds.

Newspapers in modern form
emerged some 250 years ago.
Since then, on average, thousands
of papers in English have been
published every Christmas
worldwide. So the annual
challenge is to write something
about Christmas that a zillion
other hacks haven’t already writ-
ten,

That's why so many of us weep
— or come close to it — whenever
the dreaded Yuletide days return.

Like Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband,
we know what's expected of us
but ccalize we can’t deliver,
Around Dec. 18 we gaze, mentally
naked and ashamed, at the blank
screens of our Macs and 18M-
Compatibles without a single new
thought to add.

Different columnists seck dif-
ferent solutions.

A few highly se!f-disciplined

_scribblers write their Christmas
“columns in July.

Lazing by the poo! makes it
easier to be healthily cynical about
Santa — cynicism being the col-
umnist's food and drink.

By Christmas week, mark you,
a sentimental editor may well kill
such a column and substitute
reader Smith’s handwritten poem
about the Three Kings. But at
least the columnist has met his
deadline and can honorably forget
the whole thing for one more
year.

Some columnists arrange to take
their vacation during December,
or else book off sick around Dec.
is.

Either way, the editor -- prob-
ably heaving a sigh of relief —
reaches for his file of readers’ let-
ters on ‘‘The Best Christmas We
Ever Had”? to fill the erapty space.

Yet other columnists admit
they’re beaten, hold their noses
and, just this once, valiantly
endeavor to be nice to everyone —
with all the sincerity of a fox

HITHER AND YON

reading bedtime stories in the
henhouse. :

The columnist's only stim ¢ con-
solation fs that everyone else in
the Christmas business obviously
has the same problem. ©.

Chris¢mas cards haven't ex-
pressed.a single new thought since
they were invented.

Christmas store displays are in-
distinguishable from decade to
decade, Sunta goes on wearing the
same old outfit and never even
tris his beard,

Christmas trees remain the same
general shape and color, Likewise,.
reindeer, turkeys and plum pud-

. ding, And when did anyone last:
write a new carol? ... .,

The domestic ritual on The Day :
varies just as little. The morning » | | .
chaos of torn giftwrap littering the ©
living room. Rising afternoon -
tension in the kitchen. The diges-
tion-testing family feast, followed
by debates on how tu spend the

_ rest of the evening.

And later the slight shock of. :
realizing it’s suddenty all over for:
another year (what on earth was.
all the fuss about?). aoe

In short, Christmas remains as”
unchanging as your favorite old .
sweater. As comfy and relaxing,» -
too — and that’s enough to finally
drive any self-respecting columnist
to drink. It’s frustrating enough to
have nothing new to write about
it. But it’s the last straw when you.
can’t even find anything. BAD to
write about it.

Especially if — like this scrib- :
bler — you’re secretly preparing .
to enjoy every minute of it.: |;

Have yourselves a beautiful, ©"
unchanged old Christmas too!

Fax 985-3227

: contains
Administration 985-2131

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Notth Shore managed

Associate Editor Noel Wright
Sales & Marketing Director. .Linda Stewart
Comptroller Doug Foot

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SUNDAY = WEONESOAY + FRIDLY

SDA DIVISION
NEWS photo. Cindy Grodman *

: YULETIDE DISPLAYS and lots of animals are on:view 3'- 9 p.m.
daily untli early Januavy, at North Vancouver’ 8 Maplewood Farm. a

Saye daemon! saan Meigen torch tas 2 ORME beeen ae