4- Wednesday, October 15, 1986 -

North Shore News

Bob Hunter

WHERE DID I acquire an
aversion for queues?

Not all of my fellow
mainstream Canadians share it,
otherwise, tourism aside, Expo
wouldn't have lured the crowds it

t did.

I mean, if someone happened
to ask my opinion, I’d have to
say that Expo was 90 per cent a
disaster zone, not because the in-

(dividual exhibits weren’t
fascinating or the site wasn’t fun
to wander through.

It was the line-ups. The line-

| ups were outrageous. They were
an insult. A total bummer, as we
used to say.

if ever the bottom-line men-
tality showed, it was in the deci-
sion taken at the very top to
make Expo into an assembly line.

The idea wasn’t for people to
enjoy a Yuppie dream of quality
time with their children, that’s
for sure.

Basically, the McDonald’s
franchise took over the whole
place. It was a fast-food philoso-

f phy of fun.

‘Anybody who -
says that the only
religious fanatics
adequately
represented at Expo
were the Baptists
obviously didn’t
check out the
Arabs. ’”’

If you estimate 13 million
visitors, but secretly shoot for 20
million, that means you are de-
liberately packing them in there
like sardines.

In the airline business it’s call-
ed overbooking ,Expo was simply
ovcrbooked.

And, as far as I was concern-
ed, that ruined it. It is just NOT
FUN to shuffle along like a pris-
oner waiting for your gruel.

As an accountant will tell you,
the basic unit in any enterprise is
the widget. The widgets at Expo
were you and me, sweetheart.
And Jimmy Pattison wanted to
maximize them.

Vm sure, if he had been able
to, he would have shot for a

j billion visitors, even if every one
of them had to stand in line for a
week to go to the bathroom.

I am not the only one to com-
plain about the crowds, you may
be aware. Toward summer’s end,
most people I talked to were
either quietly boycotting the site
or exchanging surrealistic anec-
dotes about Expo hordes.

Out of roughly two dozen
visits | made to the site for one
reason or another this summer, |
only really enjoyed myself a cou-
ple of times.

Once — surprise, surprise! —

© strictly personal

was when I went to the Bavarian
beer gardens near the Space
Tower. The schnapps weren't so
good, but the oompah band and
the benches sagging under loads
of bratwurst and Black Forest
cake and jugs of beer were vin-
tage.

It is really quite amazing to be
sitting under the shadow of the
Granville Bridge in 1986, listen-
ing and watching as swarms of
Canadians make red-faced,
chortling idiots of themselves do-
ing the Chicken Dance, the
checkered blue and white banners
of Bavaria hanging everwhere,
victorious.

And when the band swings into
the German version of Lili
Marlene, the steins get swinging
in the air reverently, and, for a
moment, you do get a real sense
of how senseless war must be.
Here we were, in Vancouver, ail
having fun, fun, fun being Ger-
mans.

There were a few other indi-
vidual high spots. |! liked the
Saudi Arabia exhibit. Anybody
who says that the only religious
fanatics adequately represented
at Expo were the Baptists ob-
viously didn’t check out the
Arabs.

The story of Mohammed,
peace be upon him, was writ
large — and impressive, | must
say. Hard to connect any of that
with the Ayatollah et al, but
there you go! A lesson!

The Russian pavilion was quite
a Jesson too, I liked the audacity
of displaying models of nuclear-
powered icebreakers, as if Cher-
noby! had never happened. How
to thrill Canucks -~ show them
nukes crunching through Santa’s
workshop!

The Portraits of Canada show
at the Telecomm pavilion, done
by the Disney Studios, using a
360-degree screen, was about as
cornball as an episode from
Danger Bay.

The only thing to be said for it
was at least they didn’t show any
Mounties. Every other cliche was
there, from fire-fighting British
Columbians to accordion-wagg-
ing Newfoundlanders, and, by
gar, a couple of young
Quebeckers thinking about
Pamour.

To balance this kind of insani-
ty, there was, to be sure, the
Ramses II display, and what can
you do, except grow humble?

So I wouldn’t go so far as to
call the fair a fraud. I would just
say that the Japanese subway
mentality .an amok and too
damned many people were
squeezed inside.

There was, it turned out, only
one time to visit Expo and that
was a rainy midweek morning
after or before the summer holi-
days.

For moments, with the crowds
down enough so that you could
see around you, it was quite
pleasant. But such lulls were rare,
indeed.

Adios, Expo. You were prob-
ably beautiful, but a queue too
far for me.

Lane paving causes debate

WEST VANCOUVER may
lose some of its ‘‘country
charm” if the city continues
to pave its back lanes, ac-
cording to some residents.

By MAUREEN CURTIS
Contributing Writer

This was an argument put for-
ward Monday by a group pro-
testing the proposed paving of the
gravel lane behind 1406 to 1480
Lawson and 1405 to 1495 Kings
Avenue.

Seventy per cent (more than the
required two-thirds) of the home-
owners adjacent to the lane signed
a petition in favor of the paving.

Despite the majority approval,
council listened to objections
brought up in council chambers,
but still sent the bylaw to third
reading.

Jean Mallinson of 1432 Lawson
described the loss of the city’s un-
paved lanes: ‘*...West Vancouver
will soon no longer feel, to those
fortunate enough to live here, like
a residential village where walkers
can stroll down unpaved lanes
looking at gardens or picking
blackberries or watercress, un-
troubled by care.”’

As paving lanes creates a system
of secondary roads, ‘‘unpoliced
for speed and very inviting to
drivers,’? Mallinson felt that the
peace of the neighborhood would
be diminished.

Lewis Morrisca and his wife
Anthea Mallinson, also of 1412

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Sunday October 19
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North Van Rec Centre
Lonsdale & 23rd
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Lawson, criticized the petitioning
process by which residents are ask-
ed for a signature.

Mayor Derrick Humphreys
defended the city’s meticulousness
about ‘due process’.

Humphreys said that those
signing the petition had been will-
ing to sign.

Residents will pay $4,996 of the

estimated $7,137 it will cost to
pave the lane.

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North Van. 985-1784

1343 Lynn Valley Rd.

Carden ‘Spot

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Mon-Sat. Open Sunday 9am-5Spm
West Van store open 9am-6pm
7 days a week

West Van 922-2613

Divorce and Family Law
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Debra Van Ginkel

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Complete Legal Service
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