32 - Sunday, September 7, 1986 - North Shore News Lifestyles AGE GROUPING DOES NOT SERVE CAUSE OF CIVILIZATION Are teenagers THE INVENTION of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners’ opinion. She has nothing against people of that age; indeed, she is quite foolishly fond of some such in- dividuals. It is not teenagers whom she wishes to abolish, but only the caiegory. Once you identify a period of life in which people have few restrictions and, at the same time, few responsibilities — they get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes — naturally nobody wants to live any other way. miss manners by Judith Martin Thus we now have the equally unappetizing spectacles of small children and grown-ups unsuc- cessfully imitating teenage dress, speech and social rites, while teenagers themselves have little motivation to learn the trappings of adulthood. : We have, as a society, informed teenagers not only that they are entitled to have their own culture, but that we don’t expect them to aspire to any other. — Almost before they. know their own tastes, teenagers are told that they only like junk food, primitive culture, and an unvarying standard of simplicity. ix clothes and man- ners. As such inclinations naturally vary more by individual than by age, this alerts teenagers who hap- pen to like classical music or dress- ing up that they are weird. All that does not serve the cause of civilization. Nor does it pro- mote the general happiness, when something as universal and in- evitable as getting older is perceiv- ed as being tragic. Under the old system, everyone was either an adult or a child. It was perfectly obvious which was which. Adults didn’t say, ‘‘Oh, don’t call me Mr. Gibbons — you make me feel old. Mr. Gibbons was my father.’" While they certainly sen- timentalized childhood as a time of carefree pleasure, they considered increased respect and dignity, not to mention more sophisticated pleasures, as compensation. Children only learned to talk dirty in stages, making bathroom jokes long before they knew sexual terms. Their fantasy of adulthood as a time of untrammeled freedom led them to study the ways of adult life while pressing impatiently for its advantages. Of course the people who are now called teenagers tried to play both sides against the middle. They claimed adulthood when privileges were in question and childishness when it came to tasks. But basical- ly, they were striving to get on to the next stage in life, rather than languishing where they were. This had enormous practical benefits. By observing and im- itating adult ways, apprentice adults/post-children not only prepared themselves for the future, but learned how to dea! to advan- tage with grown-ups in their pres- ent lives. Contemporary teenagers are not supposed to be able to talk to READY FOR CHANGE? 1 in your Life, relationships, well-being, in YOURSELF? Register NOW for the first tn af series of workshops designed to of- fer tools for transformation. : Priday evening and all day Satur- 5 day. Sept. 19 & 20: HOW TO HEAL YOUR LIFE. Sept. 26 & &7:f THERAPEUTIC TOUCH Call 980-8224 Yor furthor information or All” WE INVITE YOU TO JOIN US AT OUR JAZZERCISE OPEN HOUSE AND RECEIVE *xA FREE compiete One Hour szdercise workout class # NEW STUDENT ORIENTATION % LOW IMPACT AND MOVEMENT MODIFICATIONS SHOWN * EXERCISE & CLASS INFORMATION AVAILABLE * QUESTION & ANSWER OPPORTUNITY * REFRESHMENTS * SPECIAL DISCOUNT ON JAZZERCISE SESSION TICKET Date: Sept. 13, 11:AM Location: Lions Gate Hospital, 15th & St. Georges FALL SCHEDULE North Vancouver adults. It is presumed that not only their interests but their very lan- guage is so different that com- munication is impossible. Therefore, teenagers who are ac- cidentally trapped among adults go into trances routinely uniess direct- ly interrogated. However, grown-ups retain con- trol over certain § circumstances crucial to teenagers. School admis- sions committees, prospective employers and the parents of the objects of teenaged passions are all adults. It is useful to be able to charm nistal them. Small children can generally do this simply by being cute and not trashing their property, but that does not suffice for children who are the same size as or bigger than the adults. They must do it by seeming in- terested in adults and their ways — engaging them in conversation with some show of interest, and respecting their standards of behavior with some sort of grace. (One only expects them to do this while the adults are around; it is still a childhood privilege to go off with one’s peers and laugh oneself QD TATLOR MADE Picture frames to suit your every needlework. Blocking & Stretching too. come see us. we're the experts. CANADA'S PICT $ 1509 Lonsdale Ave. 986 - 1616 We Service All Major and Small Appilances 20% off All repairs until Dec. 31, 1986. « Free estimates « In-home service * Parts for all makes FRAMING EXPERIENCE IJ THE FINEST i IM SEASON 1986-87 silly at the expense of those same adults). In addition to the practical benefit, there is an emotional one. Teenage recreations are exciting for those who are new at them, but pall after a decade. There is nothing more pathetic than a bunch of pseudo-teenagers who have been at it for 40 years, still trying to have sub-adult fun. 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