4 —- Sunday, January 29, 1995 - North Shore News

Collins un

Doug
Coilins

ON THE OTHER HAND |

THERE { was, sucking my
computer pencil, when man-
aging editor Timothy
Renshaw came on the blower.

“Doug,” says he, “the News is
going on the Internet. Would you
mind if your column is included?”

“Not at all,” says I. “What's the
Internet? That was a joke, but only
just.

My acquaintance with the net kas
been skimpy. It began when a youth
on The Province phoned to ask what
I thought about nasty people down
South using my nasty columns on it.
_ said that whatever the Internet
was, it had to be a good idea it my
stuff was on it.

Later, J leamed there was 2 a
“Dump Doug Collins” movement on

_ the net. A printout was produced of
some of it and — surprise! — big
brains were leading the anti-Collins
parade: |

One was a professor at Simon

” Fraser. Another was something at
Cap College.

“A campaign to dump Holocaust
denier Doug Collins from his place
at the North Shore News is getting
under way, * announced the college
chap,

fae

He went on to explain there was “But will Massachusetts have

regard to bigots who don't like
homosexiits.

Bigotry is cur lifestyle, It's our pref-
erence, We're everywhere. We com

also a plan to get the News banned
at that great centre of free enquiry.

“No free speech for racists, No
free speech for bigots.” It is a famil-
iar Trotskyist cry.

And could it have been some
genius from Cap College who put
graffiti around the News area recent-
ly, one of which read, “Doug Collins
is a Quer"%(sic).

These fellows had their oppo-
nents, however.

“Some of us don’t like the idea of
others being able to tell us what we

_ are allowed to read. We sort of have

this funny idea that we're capable of
making that decision for ourselves.”
stated one.

The genius then delivered a gem.

“Not one thing | have suggested
has threatened Mr. Collins’ freedom
of-speech, merely his channels of
distribution.”

Back came the reply:

“That's censorship in anyone
else’s dictionary, Pray tell me how
freedom of speech can be considered
apart from distribution?

“What you are really saying is 4
agree with you having the right to
write what you want, but I will do
what I can to make sure no one can
read it!"

This seemed to silence the cen-
sor. Either that or his computer. died
from sheer lack of thought.

My defender concluded with:

_ “Does Doug Collins offend some
people? You bet. Does Shane

? McCune [one of the nincompoops
“who work for The Province] offend

some people? You bet. Me included.
Do you hear those people yelling for
his censure? No.” -

As they say in China, we live in
interesting times.

Even cyber-deficient folk like me
now understand that these Internet
times are interesting.

Henry Thoreau might not have
thought so. When told that the tele-
graph would make it possible for
Massachusetts to talk to Texas, he .

anything 10 say?”

These days it might. Like, “Have
the sombreros taken you over yet? If
so, it serves you bloody well right”

‘This Internet stuff can be ego-
inflating.

My ravings will be available to
MILLIONS, both here and in
Europe.

And | will be able to get top
British newspapers on my screen the
day they are published.

No censorship, either. For this is
beyond the reach of Bill 33. the
Trotsky mob, the pressure groups
that want Doug's head, and the so-
called “hate literature laws.”

As mentioned, my high-minded
critics were worried about “bigotry.”
Well, if | were on Internet now |
would send the letter that appeared
in the Boise (Idaho) Statesman with

{ Mf TUNE“UP

prise at least 20% of the population,
not just one per cent,
“Don't be a bigophobe. We're
here. We're bigots. Get used to it.”
Internet, here | come!

“It's genetic. 1 was born a bigot.
If never practice bigotry again,
still be a bigot.
“We bigots live happy, productive
lives. We just want to be left alone.

Call
DEREK A. CAVE
Trial Lawyer
Get the settlement
you deserve.

#508, Kapilano 100 Building
100 Park Royal, West Van.

ee ss morte .

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