"QUESTION: Why is itl am — so good at talking- ‘myself — _ INTO things I want to do, but “am no good at talking myself : OUT of things I'm deing but — in reality do not want to be. lo-c sweet gooey ‘sundaes. [and most things © in~ that 7 OUT of something. ‘not good for me in terms of' health” and ~ in terms © of © ’ category] and I know they are weight. Does that stop. me? No, no, no - i point. out to myself that really. I look. _ better when Pm a- little - ~ heavier, that. it is. “sort. of boorish to. refuse. a sundae when > “everyone | else”” ‘is _ going to order one, that when 1 -get exercising my — ~will- power, I am not really a very” ' pleasant person to be with, that I don’t want.to be one ‘of oe “The kind of arguing you he . these : ebiectionahle neonle ave wack "who are always Oil. dicts a Senate : talking about ‘it, that if I Feally “WANT “a sundae t ' Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for: ‘individual, family . or group counselling. His new office in the ‘Plaza International Hotel — [open. Tuesdays only) Is for the ‘ corivenience of. North Shore residents. Don’t interfere with flirting wife QUESTION: I have a neigh- bour who is a friend of | long-standing and she is she is going to ruin her marriage - and herself if. she keeps on . behaving like she is. She is an incurable flirt. She and her husband give the appear- — ance of being perfectly happy with each other, but any ASK yourself these QUESTIONS: the ‘sundae! That's : doing: 'Were’ s a fr’instance. | STEWART: - ‘should not. t bully myself. into” doing something against my . will, like refusing it etc.-ete. In a few minutes I have wen the argument. and am. eating argue myself INTO. - ‘some-. thing. I’m good at it. But Pm ‘no good at. talking | myself That’s “something I den’t like about | myself. How. come. Pm like that? For “some_ reason, you: have it in your head that. you must kid yourself and wheedle. your- ‘self INTO doing something. .. through... the. motions of: making the: move . So you go. ““reasonabie"’ or “‘iogicai’’, by using: ‘childish reasoning, “calculated to let yourself .. believe you see a green light. with vourself is : that when you go along. with it you know you are "treating _ QUESTION: It’s'a bet P have — ~.+ can you settie it? I claim. the | Bible SAYS; ‘‘Money is the root of ail evil’’, my neighbor | - -disagrees. What's the ‘vers int? WEBWEO STEWART: If your neighbor = Is’ quite tolerant, you win! Those very words are there in in Timothy 6: 10. But, if your ighbor is not easily hood- - ry hei - < shan discs ver that ‘how | I. _are being phoney and even . sundae? throwing out a basic.tenet of | the. above is only a part of the ; quote and that i thing says, “THE LOVE OF | . MONEY is the root: of .all evil’, which is a different. ‘thing © aitogether and you lose! oo That. kind of ‘‘love’’ is— closely akin to covetousness. So, it is true that the WORDS are there, but they do not say that money is the root of all © What the quote says .. evil. doesn’t give many Browny . points for .covetousness in . regard to money. The Bible also says, in so many words, ‘‘There. is no God’’. You can pull. that partial quote out of context and be pretty disruptive in .child could see that one of these days, he Is going to reach the end of his tether. How can J do something to help her see the error of her ways? I am her closest girl “Sond. Don't you think I Shou! +3.) ‘a her? STEWART: No. 'R.R.S.P. —HOW is my RRSP performing? —Does it give Protection against INFLATION ? —Should | consider a SELF-ADMINISTERED PLAN? Consult: BUREAU FOR BUSINESS ADVICE 988-6737 Telephone 266-6471 Professional Financial Counseling and Planning ; Ge the whole | and give it. THIS IS THE TIME to think about your yourself” like a baby. Then you feel worse. . Why argue with yourself? ‘Instead, try this idea for a ‘month (or so -and pay - attention. to how it feels. ‘Instead: of | _manufacturing 7 _ arguments against yourseif, ‘(knowing ali the while you cruel to yourself) why not spend the same amount of | -energy. in being fearlessly _honest with yourself about _ what you - REALLY want? Then give yourself loving. _ permission to move in that” _ direction or do that thing. - Try that fora while and you'll _ probably get yourself more ready io admit what sort of person you want to become, . rather than fiddling around ~~ with little things (or big) that i Want io do. Who do. ‘you you w nt to 439 Or would Want 1 Ge! rather ask, how can I talk myself into a. sweet _ gooey vou ay“ Christianity and Judaism! But hold your horses long | enough. 'to. read = a few ‘preceding - words. | You'll _ . find (if I remember correctly) . the whole sentence is, :‘‘The - - fool. hath said in his heart, . there: is no. God”’. “Anyway, sanite Le Qnsieti and | ‘ww ZAR 1S GAGES. eeeiws . he Bible don’t really PROVE anything nor try te. They share. a. Jot though. ‘They. won't settle your bet or win _ eee tmisemeniomnnr momen your argument but if you let them, . they. could probably give you a lot-to' think about ~ and live about. - To “love” is easier qeeny) te like QUESTION: You use the. --word ‘love’ a lot. Do you’. . mean love, or do you mean | ‘like’? STEWART: I mean love. 1 a find it easier to love people than to like them. I suppose I -LOVE what a person really IS. I tend to LIKE what a _ person does and_ says and wears. and = achieves © etc. Don’t get me wrong - I like a whole lot of people - and dislike some too, but I think’ liking them, or disliking them. is not nearly as rewarding to me (or to them) | as loving them. I love some people I don’t like, and sometimes, loving ; . ae them makes it easier for me © . | | mee ca to Tike them ; bet nat always. - CAPILANO MALL . ry not to define love, but . | STORE ONLY rather, let yourself enjoy it ‘935 Marine Dr. 988-7525 980-9233 ARECA PALM Top quality, Indoor plants. 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