T have three boys, and like their dad they are not always the most forthcoming with their feelings. Maybe it’s a gay ching, or maybe Pve just taught them to be a little more reserved by example, but the point is, { don't always Know what's going on in their heads. When I figure I’ve tried hard enough to find out how they're feeling, T give up the “round-the-table-heart-to- hearts” and simply go into their rooms. There's a trea- sure trove of information there. Let me take a step back before I get into the details. First, if [have to go search- ing for them to have a heart- to-heart, there’s a problem. To a youngster, their room is a personal sanctuary, a retreat if you will from the chaos of the outside world. Despite the fact that they contribute nothing to the mortgage, they claim owner- ship rights to this section of the home and stake out their territory with nothing less than fanatic zeal. Siblings beware; sticks and stones might break your bones but if you venture into your older sibling’s room, beware of complete liquidation! When a youngster heads to their room for long peri- ods of time, withdrawing from family interaction, that’s not a good thing. A From previous page Performing Arts Society. Pre- register: 929-8069. Saturday. Storytime ‘and Crafts: For 4-8 years, Nov. 4, - 18, 25, at 10 am.,.at the North Van City Library, Pre- register: 980-4424. ONGOING Maplewood Farm is locking . for an “original * rendering of -the farm and its residents. The medium can be crayon, felt pen or paint. You must be 12 years or under to enter and entries must be received by Wednesday, Dec. 6. The winning picture will be repro- duced on a new fine of T- Shirts. and the winner will receive a gift certificate for a yearly family membership. Info: 929-5610. Tales for Twos: A half hour of stories, puppetry and songs especially designed for two- year-olds at the West Van Memorial Library. Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. Children must be accompa- nied by a parent or caregiver. Pre-register: 925-7408. Grakam Parental Guidance little privacy now and then is very healthy and when emo- tions get a little carried away, some time in a sancttary ts ; relief for everyone. But too much withdrawal may be a symptom of something big- ger, some brooding anger or growing fear that makes the roam the only perceived “safe” place. A little attention from Parents to excesses, or changes in patterns, can go a long way towards generating, some discussion and inter- vention before the brooding or fear becomes too intense. Simply poking your head in the door can be a telling tale in many rooms. What are the posters on the wall? What are the books/maga- zines/ CDs/videos that are being regularly used? Is there too much emphasis on dark images? Is there too much focus on pencil-thin “perfect” models in maga- zines? In this sanctuary, what images surround them? The general order of the room can be another tell-tale sign of a youngster’s mental Wed. NOV. 22 THRU Sun. NOV. 26 — sy PB m™ . O Osa Bay state, By nature, I think, mest of us are less worried about the tidiness of our bedrooms than most other rooms. For a youngster, the freedom of expression that comes from, well, let’s call it personal taste interior decoration, is an important part of their independence. Mam and dad have a very neat living room, so. an ultra-sloppy teen bed- room would seem like a nice baiance in the house — youthtul feng shui perhaps. Again, it’s not the regular condition that is important bur changes in the regular condition. A complete lack of concern for the condition of their room, or Jong nee- dles stuck through their teddy-bears, may be a sign that something is amiss. The blinds constantly closed; increasingly large KEEP OUT signs posted on the door; bomb-making materi- als spread around the desk; astute parents will pick up on these subtleties. There are other signs rhat may be even more subtle. Tiny laundry piles might indicate a lack of attention to changing clothing, per- haps not an indication of sig- nificant mental strain, but certainly a sign of declining hygienic concern. This may be a guy thing again, but a faundry pile with four pairs of pants, four shirts, eight socks and one pair of under- wear is something to which a Buy tickets at www.DisneyOnlce.com ticketmaster oullets, Arena Box Office or calt (604) 280-4444 TICKET PRICES STARTING AT $15.75 (Service charges and handling fees may apply; no service charges at Arena Box Office) litle attention might be use- ful. Forgettul, preoccupied, whatever, you need to remind them that they should always have clean underwear in case they have to go to the hospital — one of life’s universal truths! If for no other reason, an oceasional trip to your child’s roam can be a con- versation starter if you feet you haven't been spending 441 West 3rd Street. North Vancouver 988-9215 Wednesday, November 1, 2000 —- North Skore News - 21 livin ms for ¢ enough quality dime with cach other. Keep in mind the fittle openers that can bring out the best in vou and vour child’s communications, — “What the heck blew up in here?” is always a good start. In the dark: “Whoa, what did I just step in that's sticking to my sock?” “I think T Jost my contact lens when [ said good night yes- terday. Did you see it in your UES room today?” You could tev: “Is it just my sensitive nose or do vou smell something odd when you come through this door too?” Or even: “Your moth- er’s out at the hardware store looking for a flame- thrower, Any last requests?” — Graham Hookev is the anthor of Parenting Is A Team Spore. Contact him at . KiD’S BLAST Every Saturday Morning © 9:00am - 11:50am Ages 8- 14 years only -- Only $10.60 - Drop off your kids & go do your errands! 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