20 - Wednesday, January 24, 1990 - North Shore News books The good, bad and the ugly of new paperbacks “So ya wanna be a paperback writer?” — the Beatles “Many people have delusions of grandeur but you’re deluded by triviality.”’ — Eugene lonesco times. So how does one cope with frustration, tension T tine are, as we are constantly reminded, stressful and even rage? Some find solace in drugs, others in belltowers, but I’ve al- ready felt that the cathartic effects of paperback reviewing have been drastically underrated. That said, let’s wale on a bit of pulp, shall we? Of the five paperbacks explored this week, two are fair, two aren't MIKE STEELE book review worth the effort and then there's Douglas Barton’s appropriately titled Deathsong (Onyx/Penguin; 287 pp.; $4.95). Let’s stretch credulity somewhat — like somewhere past Tau Ceti for example — and pretend that the following plot summary is fea- sible. Two powerful teams of gods who apparently have nothing bet- ter to do are sparring for control of the universe with Earth (naturally) as the cosmic boxing ring. The evil deities have invested 4,600 years in a high priest, Kuruk, who kills people by singing ancient song- spells at them (hold the Wolfman Jack jokes). In an extreme twist of irony, his opponent is a female country and western singer, one Billie Lee Kidd. Here are a few pieces of a single paragraph on page 194 that prove beyond a doubt that fate: can con- spire to bring a hopeless writer, an equally hopeless editor and pre- sumably a proofreader sans espoir together on the same project — and remember that Kuruk can on- ly kill his victims by singing to them, right? “His housekeeper, one of the deaf-mutes he preferred, gave him an enquiring glance ... He sanga lilting song. Her eyes rolled up in their sockets. She walked ... down the steps of the swimming pool ... till the water rose over her head.” So tell us, Doug: if she was a deaf-mute HOW DID SHE HEAR THE SONG??? sew € The two titles that came close to Deathsong as abuses-of-the-week were Rex Miller's Stone Shadow and, rather surprisingly, Koko by Peter Straub. Stone Shadow (Onyx/Penguin; 282 pp.; $4.95) reads eerily like a Current Affair segment as it re- counts the fictional tale of a sex- torture victim. Thanks to her testimony, a suspect who admits knowing details of several grisly slayings is arrested. But hold-on — while he’s a loser with a deplorable work his- tory he has a brother'who is not only saintly and rich, but also an identical twin. Gee, it’s going to be tough to figure this one out... With Koko, Peter Straub (prob- ably best-known for Ghost Story) has deviated into a new genre — or at least new for him. Unfortu- nately Straub may have been one of the few writers who hadn't done a ‘Nam-vet-goes-berserk story. So while Koko (Signet/ Penguin; 595 pp.; $6.95) repre- sents a major effort on Straub’s part, the themes and characters are groaningly familiar to readers shell-shocked into indifference by a barrage of similar offerings. see Well, that takes care of the ugly and the bad — what about the fair? Someone, somewhere must have thrown in all the existing permutations of cop-pairings into a computer to come up with the on- ly one yet to be incorporated into a police story whodunit. The result is Donato and Daughter by Jack Early (Onyx/Penguin; 374 pp.; $5.95). While the police prey is stand- ard (just your mundane, garden- variety psychopath), the hunters are not. Sargeant Mike Donato is a homicide detective with a dubious past and a boss who just happens to be his daughter: Lieutenant Dina Donato. The family and father-daughter personal dynarnics are superb and quite believable; unfortunately the _JANUARY 2nd to FEBRUARY 28TH-. The Ultimate Lobster Dinner Every morning we bring int Live Atlantic Lobsters from 1tod tbs. Steamed & served with Jresh vegetable and bitter $13.95 Lunch & Dinner "ENGLISH BAY CAFE. Reservations: 669-2225 1795 Beach Ave. at Denman plot places a distant second to character development and the climax is almost criminally insipid. The only one of these five paperbacks that exerted any kind of pull that couldn’t be confused with gravity was Parnell Hall's Favor. Now, | have to contess to a grudging fondness for Hall since reading his previous Stanley Hastings detective title, Murder. It’s not that the stories are spellbinding or even intricate it’s just that Stanley Hastings is prob- ably the worst PI the private in- vestigation game has ever seen. Even he admits this: "I'm a private detective. But that’s misleading. I’m not a real private detective. I'm an am- bulance chaser. But that’s mis- leading, too. What | really am is a failure.” Sparse prose and a sardonic sense of humor are Hal!lmarks of Stanley Hastings’ Colomboesque unravellings of mankind’s misde- meanors. Favor (Onyx/Penguin; $4.95) is no exception. This time around, Stanley has agreed to do a ‘small! favor’ for a cop who once tried to put hir: in jail. This isn’t easy for Staniey. Not only is he embarrassed by peo- ple’s private lives but poor Stanley has suffered a severe loss of self- confidence since his first client ” al was murdered. In this case, all Stanley has to do is watch the cop’s daughter in Atlantic City. It's not Ais fault that the daughter's husband happens to have an awful lot of friends in the Mafia’s Boardwalk franchise. Within hours, Stanley Hastings, Pl, has managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible: become the joke of Atlantic City anda murder suspect simultaneously. Hf you’ re looking for a gumshoe who doesn’t carry a gun; a man who abhors violence, doesn’t drink, doesn’t fool around (and feels guilty for even considering it), then remember the name Parnell _Hall and do yourself a Favor. our new VIA Rail™ has a brand new schedule, with convenient departure times from your city. Below are some examples for popular destinations. Check them out... then come on along and take the train! From VANCOUVER ito JASPER Departure Arrival 21:00 Thu., Sat., Mon. 15:30 From VANCOUVER to EDMONTON Departure Arrival 21:00 Thu., Sat., Mon. 22:25 From VANCOUVER to WINNIPEG Departure 21:00 Thu., Sat., Mon. Arrival 18:00 Sat., Mon., Wed. Whether you're travelling on business or for pleasure, let VIA take you there. It's the comfortable, trouLle-free way to travel... and with friendly service all the way. For more information on prices and all our new timetabies call your Travel Agent, or VIA Railat 1 800 561-8630.