if t ley cost me. nothing!

ELEVISION NEWS is mostly a matter of

nice teeth and hair. Announcers with warts
and pimples are not welcome. But sometimes
it has its uses, and the other night we tuned in to the
Women’s Network (the CBC) to find that Ottawa
was being besieged by a convention of tax-suppor-

ted harpies.

The annual gab-fest of the
National Action Committee
of the Status of Women was
in progress, if you can call it
that. Anyway, there they
were, 400 strong, yelping
their heads off with pleasure,
which they were trying to dis-
guise as indignation. They
were Meeting in the Chateau
Laurier Hotel, you sec, and
had found some porn in the
hotel smoke shop. Or what
they said was porn.

You never did see such a
fuss. The big-hatted ladies of
Queen Victoria’s day had
nothing on these babes.
Cluck chuck chuck. But at
least those sin hunters of the
Mh century didn’t wrap
their objections in jargon.
Libber jargon. these days,
it's usually impossible to
decipher what they are going
On about, but if you’ve seen
Kiss Me, Kate, you'll under-
stand that, like Kate, they
hate men.

CAPTIVE MAN

This time, they were saying
that they are not against
croticism in which women are
shown as the “respected
equals’? of men, but that the
**porn”’ they had smelled out
in the smoke shop wasn’t up
to snuff. 1 judge from that
that matie-female wrestling or
boxing matches would be
O.K., but fecring by lamp-
light is bad.

The highlight of their Or-
tawa performance, suitably
cnough, was the appearance
of a captive man The
manager of the hotel being
away, wise fellow, some poor

devil of a junior executive
was flushed out of his hidey-
hole and made to parade at
the bookstand. He seemed to
be frightened to death, and
would give only his name,
rank and number, like a good
prisoner-of-war should. He
didn’t know nothin’, he said.

Now I don‘t want you to
get me wrong. I have nothing
against lunatics being allow-
ed to run loose. If they were
put into a home somcone
would have to look after
them. But why should my tax
money go to pay for their
conventions? Gab sessions
and hurly-burlies like the onc
under discussion here are not
paid for by bake sales or
needlework auctions. No, the
moncy comes from your
taxes via the Secretary of
State’s office. Grants, in
other words, which would be
better spent trying to develop
a better hamburger.

$50,000 SNOOP

My old buddy Sylvia Spr-
ing of Media Watch was part
of the Ottawa happening, for
instance, and she’s the girl
who got $50,000 last year just
so she can snoop for signs af
sexual stereotyping. Isn’t that
stupid? What this country
needs is more sexual stereo-
typing, not less, it being so
hard these days to distinguish
men from women. -

The Secretary of State’s of-
fice controls the biggest
slush-and-bribery fund
known to man, if I may put it
that way without being arres-
ted for being sexist. Last
year, they got rid of over two
billion bucks. On = mutlti-
culturalism, on bilingualism,
on human wrongs, on stu-
dent loans, on Sylvia Spring.
etc. You name it and they’ve
thought of it. And they pro-
bably paid for all those news-
paper advertisements. you
saw this week. You know:
**There’s a lot going on for
women in B.C.”’

Well, what 1 want to know
is what's going on for men.
Not much, it would seem.
Not even a bit of porn in the
smoke shop, if these folk get
their way.

ANNOUNCING

THE NEW LOCATION OF
ANDERSON’S MASSAGE LTD.

Olaf (Ollie) K. Anderson R_M.

formerly of Hotel Spa

Remedial Massage Dr. Referral
Ample Parking /Use side entrance

#10%-1825 Capliano Rd 988-4523

5 - Friday, March 23, 1984 - North Shore News

Cap River search
. officially ended

. THE SEARCH for a man reported’ to:have jumped: or
* fallen from the Capilano Suspension Bridge- Saturday
afternoon has bees officially ended according to the North
Vancouver RCMP. Searchers from the police, district fire
department and the North Shore’s emergency program
combed the river Saturday, Sunday and Monday without

_ turning up.a trace of the man’s body.: The man, reported
to be somewhere between 18 and 25 years. of age, was
reported to have gone off the bridge just after 2 p.m.
Saturday, touching off massive search efforts that includ-

ed kayakers, people searching from the banks of the river
and divers.

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NORTH VAN-
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joined the West Van-
couver Police Depart-
ment in proclaiming
next week ‘‘Daylighters
Live Longer’’ week.

Joint efforts of the depart-
ments are aimed at encourag-
ing motorists to drive with
their headlights on during the
day as well as the night.

West Vancouver traffic of-
ficials announced plans to
mark the week earlier and
were joined by the North
Vancouver detachment’s
traffic division this week.

Police say that drivers who
use their headlights during ©
daylight hours increase the
visibility of their automobiles 4,
and make other drivers more
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The combination of a
trend to smaller cars and ¢x-
tensive use of grey, brown
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dinavian countries show that
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during the day can reduce
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as 20 per cent.

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