. ° oe) QUESTION: | Until about four-years ago Dan was one of four of my very closest friends.. We had a long- running mutually enjoyable relationship. He, and I, and the other three guys all belonged to a certain organization within which Dan held a responsible posi- tion, for which he was ade- quately remunerated. To cut to the bare bone of what hap- pened, Dan was an innovator and an idea-man as well as being a rather capable ex- ecutive type and he came up with a plan that would change, rather drastically, the sort of services our” organization was offering. He thought through his plan carefully and presented it to the governing body of our group. Because his proposed changes seemed somewhat far-reaching, our board decided not to. give him a green light to proceed with ~ his idea, but rather, to study it for two weeks and then discuss it at a specially called meeting. This delay bothered Dan and ke iet the board know how disappointed he was. He took their decision quite personally and. had things to say about the board not trusting him and about what he called their over- cautious stand-pat attitudes. About two days before the specially-called meeting he sent in his resignation ‘to be effective as of now!”’ He did not attend the meeting, nor has he had anything to do with anyone in the group since that day. Now the thing that bothers me most is that he will not so much as give the time of day to any member of our organization, including the two or three of us who were amongst his best friends. If he sees one of as, he’ll cross the street to avoid speaking. He has completely withdrawn from all of us. We feel that four years is an awfully long time for him to be acting as he does. We want to do something to establish our former good relationships. My question is, what do you suggest we do? We’ve tried lots of things but he still clams up and avoids us. Have you any bright ideas? STEWART: Only one, and I’m not too keen about it. If any change comes about, he’ll have to choose a pro- cedure all on his own. You fellows cannot choose one for him. What you might do is write him, telling him you hate what has happened to your friendship and that you would like so much to be good friends again. But let him know that it will be up to him to take some sort of in- itiative. Tell him that you have decided not to try to push him or hurry him, and that you are ready and eager to find your way into good friendship again, if and when he lets you know he wants that too. Have him unders- tand that meanwhile, in ef- fect, he has your permission to choose to keep up the way he is going, even though it is . distasteful and painful for ask hayden stewart you, and that you would like it to change. Avoid letting him assume that there is some **deal’’ involved. There is no need for him to explain, or back-down, or apologize, or feel that he has ‘‘won’’ or Freetance Counsellor Havden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointment for individual, family or group copaselting. C5 - Wednesday, January 4, 1984 - North Shore News “lost.’’ All you want is your friendship back in running order. If you guys cannot do that with integrity - then don’t do it. And, by the way, be sure you do not have any specific expectations! Just offer him friendship and do him the honor of allowing him his choices. QUESTION: I had an uncle visit us over the Christmas weekend whom I had not seen for 27 years since I left the old country. He is my mother’s brother. Mother and father brought me to Canada when I was 12 but they soon after I was married in 1969. Of course, I stayed on here with my husband and we have lived in the same North Shore house for 14 years. It was good to have my ancle bend my ear with all sorts of stories about my mother and father that one cannot or- _ dinarily share as well by mail. I felt like I was right with them! friends returned to England - Now here’s my question. After my uncle left for England, I became aware that I still think of myself as a visitor here in Canada whose HOME is thousands of miles away. I’ve been here 27 years and for goodness sake I still call England ‘‘home!’’ I like it in Canada mind you and am happy here with my hus- band and kids, but do you think it_is normal for me to think of England as home after 27 years? STEWART: Who cares? You are happy here with your hus- band and kids, so why figure out if you are ‘‘normal?’’ Enjoy! I left Winnipeg about 140 years ago and, in some ways, I still think of it as mry home. Now please don’t get me wondering if I'm normal... And anyway, being normal can be a drag. (So I’ve been told). I like it here and here is where I am. That sounds good doesn’t it? It’s got a good healthy ring to it. Nor- mal? Schnormal! you “you and your stars by Milo Kovar December 23 - January 20 the Sun-Earth points to Capricom, the celestial goat. Apart from his conscious stubbornness and hard- headedness, he is ambitious, a natural climber, finds himself at case in high places and positions of clevation. Ancient mythology associated him with god Pan one of revelry and dissipa- tion. Planet Saturn = rules “Capricorn representing old age, wisdom derived through life’s experiences, Father Time, who scrupulously sifts and weighs man’s deeds agains the scales of ctecrnal Justice. Stock-taking, render - ing accounts of past year’s endeavours closely relate to the cosmic symbolism of Capricorn. Much challenge, obstacies tO overcome in your voca- tion, business, friction with superiors, pecrs and public. TAURUS April 21 to May 21 Much concern about finan cial matiors, cconomic status, (anes, short journies for pleasure or on business CANCER Jane 22 to July 23 Frictions, arguments with friends, partner, public. Resolve to have others lead the way and you will fare smoother. LEO Jaly 24 to August 23 -Seek relief from past pressures, involvements; your body needs rest, a chance to get away from it all. August 24 to September 23 Chances in speculative matters, gambling are good; so is the temptations in your love life. Children are a challenge. GEMINI May 22 to June 21 Stimulating, challenging time connected with partners and partnerships financial happenstances, court matters. News Photographer Exto Eggerteon day. between 9am ands pm 986-6222 1139 Lonsdale Ave. North Vancouver V7M 2H4 “My News photos are for sale.’ To order yous prints. call (he Nows on Monday Wodnesday o: Thurs LIBRA September 24 to October 23 Family, parents may cause you some grief, irritate you on decisions of importance, acquisition of property, change of residence. SCORPIO October 24 to November 22 Much enjoyment in travel, visiting, socializing; mind stimulated to new educa- tional pursuits. SAGITTARIUS November 23 to December 21 Much temptation to spen- ding money, investments, speculations of all sorts. Many vocational, business opportunitics. OS Many new responsibilitics looming ahead. Adopt a pru- dent attitude in all your spen- ding, watch your finances CAPRICORN December 22 to January 20 closely. You can purchase an 8 «10 Professional quality print of any photograph of mine or photos by the other News photographers *75. } Two to four coptes ofthe same *10. five of more Copies of the same print 7 r) * sunday news north shore news AQUARIUS _ January 21 to February 19 Unexpected or unforeseen financial obstacles, obliga- tions .lue to family or partnership involvements. —minimum of discomfort and private consuitation. A gt Spore Eect remove hair permanently PISCES February 20 eer March 20 iS Advantages through in- fluential people, wealthy relatives, well-to-do friends, senior associates; busy social roster. . Room 2178 Medical Dental Building 1940 Lonsdale, North Vancouver FS] CE) tobyded Clerc —private consultation haistines and arching eyebrows. Maria Stafford, qualified and certified electrologist invites catis for a personal HOROSCOPE READINGS, COUNSELLING - (415) -— 921-1192 or write to author 2640 Greenwich #403, San Francisco, CA 94123; Read Milo Kovar’s NEW AGE ASTROLOGY GUIDE 1984 - $2.50 at Seymour Books. 1637 Lonsdale Ave. Closea Mondays 980-2022 929-4468 (res.) A tradition of uncompromising elegance since 1890 JANUARY SALE 20% to 50% off fine coats, suits, dresses, sweaters, jackets, blazers, skirts, blouses, slacks, etc. ALL SALES FINAL No charges but use Visa, MasterCard or American Express Marine Drive at 18th, West Vancouver FREE PARKING BEHIND THE SHOP © Granville at LOth Ave ¢ Oakridge Mall ¢ Collectibles, Pac tftc Centre