So ~ oe oo C12 - Wednesday, November 26, 1980 - North Shore News QUESTION: The trouble with your column is that it makes -me think! For example, a month or two back you said something like the three most common problems in_ relating to others, are power, sex and money. Fve had to think about that a lot and what I've come up with is that I've got all three problems and have had for years! I want to ask you about all three, but that would take too long a letter so I've written three questions instead of one long one. My first question is about power and how I use it in relating to other people. It failure. I did not realize I was always trying to get the upper hand. I’ve always wanted to be top dog. I hate being the loser. I hate the thought of being used by someone who has more power than I have. If someone says, “Let's meet at Lonsdale and 3rd at 8 o'clock,” I would probably talk them into Lonsdale and 4th at 8:30. There’s nothing wrong with 3rd or 8 o’clock, except that it is the other guy’s idea that he is laying on me. Got the idea? So what do you say about all that? STEWART: That’s a good idea for you to write three had never occurred to me what I was doing and thinking (2bout power) until you listed it as a common source of unhappiness and Advice QUESTION: Your advice is sometimes crazy and sometimes good, but I find it is often very, very difficult for me to follow. I am one of your readers that fs really trying to follow your advice because I think most of your answers are good. But sometimes your advice leaves me floundering. So, what do you suggest? STEWART: I suggest you don’t take my “advice”! It is very dangerous for you, or for any of my readers, to take my advice, or anyone short letters instead of one lengthy one. Your other two about sex and money will appear in subsequent issues. If you habitually insist on can be else's advice. So why am I writing this sort of column? Because | have a lot of trust in advice becoming something far more valuable than mere “advice”. For advice to be valuable, it must experience a trans- formation. Advice is no good to anyone unless it has been transformed into something else. My advice is of no worth to you unless it has evolved into becoming your own insight. Only then is it worth a plugged penny to you. I may pass on to my readers something I have so @ Loe : : . : 4 _— . vue ) wee . . . a Perit, 5 rae weg _ " 5 . , 7) ‘ : wy fa . : ; Ra < ™ ~. I : ; ¢. sy . i y * 4 ve = Q ° © x : > oy %y . ve Ae * your own corner and your own hour of meeting out of a fear that you will be manipulated, you will not be demonstrating “power” although it may appear so) but you will demonstrate, to YOURSELF, your fear, rather than your stength. You will be imsisting on YOUR way, but only because you are afraid of seeming .weak to the other person. However, if there is in fact a good and valid reason for you to push for 4th at 8:30 , instead of 3rd at 8 o'clock, you will be utilizing your strength by as important to you, as is your locating and respecting your own strength. Power is the ability to achieve pur- dangerous found worthwhile. But unless you detach it from me and discover it to be your OWN, it is. still simply Hayden's bright idea. My “advice” is meant to do no , more than help reveal to you something you have probably known all along and have not yet utilized. My ramblings can be nothing more than a sharing that helps you locate your own insight. If something I say helps you become acquainted with the wisdom of your higher self, thén respect that wisdom, Where's the good news? QUESTION: What's the good news? Your paper ts so full of tragedies and fires and rapes and wars and volcanoes and robberies! What's the good news? Don't you know any? No guarantees QUESTION: Shoaldn't marriage guarantee to you certain rights? My marringe has not guaranteed anything for me, except, perhaps, a few legal rights STEWART; Marriages, and other relationships cannot guarantee rights. Only people can do that. The brevity of my answer docs not indicate flippancy. It invites thought. ESTHETIC CARE _ *Deep Pore Cleansing Rejuvenating Treatments *Personahzed Make up lessons & applications *Eydé Lash & Brow Tints Manicures, Pedicures -*Naxing Gift Certificates available Phone: 965-6616 146 Weat 16th, N.Van. STEWART: That bothers me too. Not just about the North Shore News but about so much of what we read these days. You'll be in- terested to know that our staff is well aware of the imbalance and ts as in- terested as you are in sharing the good news too. I'll bet they'd even welcome your ideas about how to meet Double 196.50 CALL FORA FREE BROCHURE DOWN COMFORTERS Goose Down prices valid ‘til Nav. 30 Bl Twin 138.50 FULL 10-YEAR WARRANTY PLUS COMFORT GUARANTEE Wide Selection of Colourful Covers oor Ol C 1916 FIR STREET (at 3rd Ave) your complaint. Or perhaps you'd like to write in some stories under the general heading of GOOD NEWS and see if they'll print some of them. Why not? Queen 218.50 King 249.50 731-2311 _Strength. You don't need to