‘QUESTION: Im 16. How can I change my image? You see, for about three years now I've known that I was pretty smart. I'm no genius, but I know I've got a good head and if I worked at it I could do real good at school. But without~ hardly knowing it what I’ve done is Pretend I'm just average or She uses her _ brains, can luse sex? | QUESTION: [Im getting awfully sick of this old down- grading of using sex to earn yourself advantages. I think this attitude is an illogical carry-over from old religious taboos. Living next door to me is a brainy woman who uses her God-giver brains to ‘make a living and nobody raises an eye-brow. Across the street lives a pro football player who “sells” muscles and physical and nobody (well, hardly anybody) thinks that is a tainted way to- earn a living. Singers make a living out of their vocal chords, I also have a God- given “commodity” - my. sexuality - which could be a very valuable help to me. Apart from morals and religious teaching - why not? STEWART: It’s awkward isn't it. On the one hand, you want (at least for the pur- poses of the question you raise in your letter) to set aside “morals and religous teachings”. Yet you so naturally credit God for your neighbour's braininess and for your sexuality. If you can set aside your own morals, and are able to turn your back on your religious teachings, perhaps you will feel you are home. free, to do as you choose. Yet, I expect you would be resentful if your brainy neighbour used her Gad- given aptitudes immorally for purposes of using you in some manner that would benefit her personally with no regard to you or your “God-given” rights. QUESTION: That was a good meeting you had at the International Plaza! There was a lot of mental fodder for me to chew on for a long time and yet It wasn’t a stuffy night at all. | had a good time. But there's one thing | want to ash. When It came question time, I had something | wanted to say and a question I wanted to ash, but I was Just too slow. I'd just get ready, then somebody else would speak up. What about us slow starters? ask Hayden 7 - Stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, counselling. His new office in the Plaza International Hotel [open Tuesdays only] is for tte convenience of North Shore residents. family or group Is there a chance that you feel there is nothing you have marketable apart from your sexuality? Are you wanting to cop out and deny your potential worth? Your brainy neighbour and your talented foot-ball player and your vocal marvel may well be prostituting themselves even beyond what you think you would like to do. Having God-given brains or muscles or vocal chords or sexuality is not the big thing in life. How you use them to make you deeply happy and content and aware of your self-worth is of paramount importance to you and (o all of us. What about slow starters? STEWART: Dear Slow Starter: Your difficulues were mot necessarily your fault, Some of us felt chat the format we chose (o use could have been improved upon. For example, we probably will have a way for people at the next ‘Evening’ (Feb- ruary 25) to be able to write their questions on cards and hand them in. Those ques. tions, or comments, along with the ones from the floor will give us a better balance Thanks for your kind words! ‘below average and I have not worked hard at school at all, It seems crazy to me now but what I’ve wanted is to be “one of the guys” and not be square enough to eet good grades. —~ I had a neat summer and did some thinking about who I am and where Pm héading elcome to reality old buddy © with: my life and now I want to really learn and prepare myself for a successful life. The problem? It’s just this. I'm afraid it will be a little hairy to suddenly start studying hard and working hard and getting. good grades when all my friends know me as a sort of goof-off. They'll think I'm a phoney show-off. Page 33, January 31, 1979 - North Shore News STEWART: But YOU will know you USED TO BE a phoney show-off. You tried to portray a manufactured image of semi-dumbness but NOW you are “going to be yourself - good head and all. Some of the guys will think of you as a deserter, but probably most of them will from modern SPA in Western Canada 10 am-6 pm like your real self better than the old phoney one. Anyway, that i is not the big thing in your life (to win friends by doctoring your “Image”) the big thing is that you are walking straight into being on the level. Now THAT is neat! Welcome to reality old buddy. Open 7 days a week Mon. to Fri. 10 am-10pm Sat. & Sun. 1 986-5201 NORTH SHORE INT. PLAZA HOTEL MARINE DR.