I HAVE just witnessed the knitting together of a marriage
that seemed in danger of becoming hopeiessly unravelled,
and I'm beginning to wonder if such a happy conclusion
isn’t due to the husband making a firm vow to never, ever
again leave the lid on the toilet seat in the up position.

For 23 years this couple has
been together, aging their rela-
tionship in the oak cask of mat-
rimony hoping for a result that
would be as smooth and mellow
as the finest malt.

Instead, the staves of that cask
were nearly kicked in, and I’m
convinced that what caused this
catastrophe was not something
momentous, but something prob-
ably quite trivial.

I speak from experience here.
My wife and | have been married
for the same amount of time as
this troubled couple, and if we
ever square off on separate sides
of a judge it will no doubt be
caused by nothing more critical
than, say, a pair of men’s socks.

I mention socks because it is a
frailty in my wife’s nature that she
has an aversion to chunks of my
wardrobe showing up in unlikely
spots around the apartment.

“Why can't you put your
clothes in the laundry hamper like
any normal human?” she say's,
while picking up my socks from
atop a lamp shade, or from within
the f-idge, or from wherever |

HUGHES’ VIEWS

happened to be at the time of
their removal.

Still, this habit of mine could
have remained only a curious
quirk — a tale told to amuse
guests at a party — if not for my
Aunt Evelyn showing up unan-
nounced at our door one day,

This aunt, as fastidious and

ed closures may
lead to shortages

Dear Editor:

British Columbia is the
fastest-growing province in
Canada. We all witness new con-
struction and highrises shooting
up...
North Vancouver is no excep-
tion; we are also growing. .

In. spite of this, Lions Gate
Hospital (L.GH) is closing beds —
even though LGH is already
operating a Royal Commission-
recommended goal of 2.75 beds
per thousand population.

It does not take a genius to see
that we will have to open beds
tomorrow, which are closing to-
day,

Who’ can’t forget all the pa-
tients that we had to send to the
U.S.A. for treatment a year ago?
Tax dollars going south.

A home care system is supposed
' to ease the situation and free up
hospital beds.

It is a great idea to care for
people at home if they absolutely
do not need to be hospitalized.
However, the existing home care
system is already overburdened.

The minister of health,
Elizabeth Cull, promises help for
the home care system.

How many pre-election prom-
ises actually materialize? Virtually
nothing ever works out the way it
was promised.

‘Think of the downsizing of
Riverview Hospital. Patients were
supposed to get “closer to
community care’ in group homes.

A large number of these
psychiatric patients ended up on
skid row, in hotels, paid by
welfare, and getting picked up
repeatedly by the RCMP. .

The RCMP are not equipped to

treat mentaily iff patients; they are

trained to fight crime.
; How. much money is saved with
‘this method? Sure, the health
budget is eased somewhat —~ with
the burden being. shifted to
‘welfare and the police.
Health-care workers who are
: being laid off are receiving their

income from UIC,

Instead of generating business
in their community, they are a
drain on the taxpayer,

The taxpayer is certainly not the
winner of this creative shifting of
funds and the sure losers are those
who are in need of the health-care
system,

Hans Opelka
Linda Blasbalg
North Vancouver

Bed closures:
NDP throwing
baby out with
the bathwater

Dear.Editor:

The provincial government
is committed to the “‘trickle
down’’ effect.

Hospitals too expensive?
Attack the administrators,

Schools too expensive? At-
tack the administrators,

Medical care too expensive?
Attack the doctors.

The problem with such
policies is that the baby gets
thrown out with the
bathwater.

Take the closure of
Shaughnessy hospital, for ex-
ample.

British Columbia does not
have an integrated health
sciences centre for tertiary
medical care. The complex at
Grace, Children’s and
Shaughnessy was heading that
way.

Such units share expertise,
laboratories and a ‘host of
services.

The closure is a backward
step and will cost more in the
end,

James ti. Battershill
North Vancouver

ly, Ma

4& this morbid, disquieting fixation
we fave on each other's
imperfections. 99

proper as her name would imply,
was seated by my wife in our best
chair. 1 farget how long into the
conversation we were before Aunt
Ev, in obvious discomfort, reach-
ed beneath the cushion and hauled
out a particularly stiff and
malodorous pair of Harvey
Woods.

My wife hurled a glare in my
direction that struck between the
eyes with the force of a double-
bladed axe. {1 was a horrible mo-
ment, and J dreamed of alimony
cheques for weeks afterwards.

I tell this story to illusizate what
a fragile thing a marriage can be.
The divorce rate reaches more
frightening proportions by the
year in this country, and ! suspect
that often it is the little niggling
things in relationships that are
responsible.

Take cupboard doors. An open
cupboard door can cause parox-

ysms of pain to shoot through my
wife’s spine.

I might spend four hours cook-
ing her a special dinner only to sec
beads of sweat form on her upper
lip as her eyes flick to the kitchen
where every door in the room is
flung wide. | know she won't
relax until 1 get up and shut each
of them, and — God help me — |
it’s all I can do not to tenderize
her with a meat mallet. o

It’s silly, when you think about
it, this morbid, disquieting fixa-
tion we have on each othec's im-
perfections.

‘ For example, when my wife was
cobbled together at the factory
there was an obvious glitch in the
jawbone assembly line; her jaw
cracks whenever she eats.

Not a loud crack, mind you,
but a muted, discreet sort of pop.
As far as I knw, ae one else has
ever even commented on it.

tch 26, 1993 — North Shore News -

Besides, it’s not her fault anyway.

But when we are alone together,
munching the daily Brie, the
sound sometimes magnifies until-]
could swear a herd of flamenco
dancers just stomped through the
room playing The Flight of the
Bumblebee with castanets.

It’s at times like these when the
cheese knife quivers almost un-
controllably in my, palm, and my
eyes glaze over with a fierce,
calculating Ilcok that must h:
awful to behold. ~

I can’t quite understand why I
get these feelings, and, frankly,
would find them frightening if I
didn’t see the same homicidal
furrow wrinkle my wife’s brow on
more than one occasion.

I believe that deep down in
every couple’s soul there lurks
similar black passions. Most of
us, thankfully, simply let these
emotions pass, recognizing them
for the trivia they are.

For instance, now that this col-
umn is written and the deadline
has been met, I intend to go back
to bed, snuggle up to my wife and
luxuriate in the warmth of our
mature and loving relationship.

But if she’s sleeping on my side
of the bed again I won't be
responsible for what happens.

‘es, T ADMIT WF. I Took
AN EXIRA, CREAMER,

Patients are being used as pawns

found that many of the North

Dear Editor:

{In January of this year we
received a letter from our doctor,
stating that because of federal
funding decreases, and provincial
underfunding of medical care and
putting a cap on health care ex-
penditures, his office would be
opting out of MSP.

Because of this opting out, we,
my family, would be invoiced for
the doctor’s services at the time of
his services, with payment re-
quested,

We would receive a ‘claim
ecard” which we would send to
MSP, and in due course would be

repaid by MSP for most of the
cost.

The balance of the costs would
be borne by us.

Not only would we have addi-
tional charges, which, by the way,
vary from 5% to 30% over and
above MSP rates, but also the
postal charges, for submitting our
claim to MSP.

After expressing our concern in
a letter to the doctor, and having
a phone conversation with him,
we eventually gave written notice
that we would be making a change
to another doctor. .

To our surprise and concern, we

Shore doctors would not accept
our former doctors’ clients as new
patients.

We eventually located doctors
who did not adhere to this prac-
tice and we have made _ this
change. :

The medical profession has
reason to be upset with current
government actions, but they
should not use their patients to
express their displeasure.

M. Porter
North Vancouver