Fs Saal 40 - Wednesday, April 10, 1991 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES =$AP AARC DO AiNiy Wite’s disinterest driving him crazy Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH Q. I KNOW this is proba- bly the most common sex- ual complaint, but I don’t know what to do about it. My wife aoesn’t want sex more than once a month or so. We're in our 20s, in good physical health, and very much in fove with each other. E don’t understand why she is so disinterested in making fove. When we have sex, she gets aroused and has an orgasm. I will do anything to please her. Outside the bedroom we get along great. We have a smatl child and both work at demanding jobs. so I know that she is often tired. 1 don’t expect sex every Gay or even three or four times a week, given the demands of our lives. But surely once a month is not enough for any man my age! What can I do? When we taik about it, she says nothing is wrong. A. Couples do argue about fre- quency of sex quite frequently! 1 can understand why you would find once a month not enough. Maybe you need to put a little more romance in your lives. Hire a baby sitter and take your wife out to dinner this weekend. Bring her flowers occasionally. Leave little love notes on her pillow. Often women tell me they would feel more sexual if their husbands were more romantic. If the romantic gestures don’t help, have another talk. Maybe she is working too hard, Q. Am i the only man who suf- fers from oral performance anxie- ty? I want to perform cunnilingus on my lover, but I don't know how to do it. She is 10 years older than I am, so Tam particularly anxious not to look young and foolish whiie making oral love to ker. This is my firs serious relation- SALES * SERVICE * RENTALS - Complete Service Facility - Book now for summer rentals HURRY FOR BEST SELECTION ship. The first time we made wove. SPRING CHALLIS | was rnervous, but she made i i * % % easy for me. I have never per- PRINTED 56° ee NEN. $ M | REG. 1299 SALE | CALIFORNIA CRINKEL » 100% COTTON +140 CM WIDE M MBUTTERICKA PATTERNS BUY i GET 1 formed cunnilingus before. She ¢415 CM WIDE hasn't said anything, but [ kaow ncaocom SALE she must be wondering why 3 ee haven't done this as she has per- formed fellatio on me. What do 1 do? Sometimes she worries about the difference in our ages. | don't want to em- phasize my lack of sexual experi- | nec. i099 SALE M ence and make her worry more. A. Stop worrying! If she was able to calm your performance DOUBLE FACE QUILTS PEACH SKIN* anxiety the first time you made © 115 CM WIDE PRINTS Me 100% COTTON 5 love, she will be just as capable of . * POLYESTER & 11" SATEEN $ f : “PRINTED DENIM Bo, $29 ¢ PRE-WASHED REG. 1209 SALE M CHAMBRAY BLUES # 100% COTTON helping you make oral love to her. : COTTON #115 CM WIDE * 180 CM WIDE $7 99 Why don't you ask her how she REG 14.99 M SALE 1577 Lloyd Ave., North Van likes to be pleased? Every woman is different. Even if you had done this with other women, you would still need ask her what she likes. Remember to use a delicate touch and follow her iead. I am sure she isn’t thinking about your lack of sexual experi- ence when she worries about the age difference. She’s probably concerned about you becoming in- terested in a younger woman. Relax! Everyone has his, or her, own fears. Q. My father is cheating on my mother. They are both in their 50s, and he’s having an affair with a woman six months younger than tam. . His behavior has shattered my ilusions about him. Now 1 don’t trust men at all. I am having difficulty sexually responding to my boyfriend. We had a great relationship until four months ago when I found out about my father and his ‘sweet young thing."” Do you think if I told him ex- actly how he is ruining my life it would shame him into giving up this girl and going back to my mother? Tam afraid sex will never be the same for me again. Maybe if my father knew he’s made me frigid, he would stop before it’s too tate. A. No, I don’t think you should tell your father ‘‘exactly’’ how his behavior is affecting you! But tell- ing a counsellor would be a good idea. You need to get some profes- sional help in handling this dif- ficult, situation. There is really nothing you can do to force your father to give up his girlfriend. You can tell him you are hurt and disappointed and concerned for your mother, but leave out the personal sexual details. And don’t expect him to do anything other than wring his hands in anguish. 1 feel sorry for al! of you. I know this is very painful. Please get some professional help in cop- ing with your pain! Crocuses and Daffodils The RV Season is Here! GO WEST YOUR NORTH SHORE RV CENTRE DLesSS Sales Open Sundays 12-4 p.m. 987-8587 ot Some tar 4h First, look in the Guide that comes with your tax package. It gives you step-by-step instructions and helpful tax tips. 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