50 — Wednesday, December 20, 1989 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES rain is the most important sex organ Q. CAN YOU publish the en closed short article? I have tus- ed it successfully to enhance sex on several occasions. A. I can’t use the “‘article,’’ but thanks for sending it. I don’t put arousing material in this column, only suggest sometimes that people can use it to help them fantasize. Fantasizing before and during sex, automatic with some people, needs developing or enriching with a great many. Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer Over the years quite a few readers have sent in their stories or sex fantasies. They may have wondered why they were not used. You can be sure the editers of newspapers where this column ap- pears would face a lot of protest if this kind of thing appeared in their papers. As for me, f do not at- tempt to arouse or want to — what you get here is non-arousing in- formation. Anyway, that's what it is intended to be. 1 can’t be sure. The guy who wrote the phone book uninten- tionally aroused a few people, and, probably, so does the person who composes your utility bill. Some lucky people hardly need arousing. When | tell people that the most important sex organ is the brain, I mean that in human sexuality the mind is flooded with sexual ideas when sex is going on. [n prepara- tion for sex, during sex. in the calming-down period afterwards, mental images play a controlling part. Without such images, sex can be mechanical and boring. These ideas vary widely with different people, and when doing sex therapy with certain religious couples or people with strong ethical backgrounds, ! have to suggest that the partners use each other in their fantasies to avoid “mental infidelity,” but most people do not take the vagrant imagination, in sex fantasies, to be seriously damaging to fidelity. Anyone who has written down a sexual fantasy and feels the pride of authorship, something all really good writers do feel, should send their short story or imaginary con- fession to one of the sexy maga- zines that carry departments devoted to fantasy-sharing. { don’t think the rate of pay is high, but you may enjoy getting your stuff into print. And you can read of other people’s stories or confes- sions. Q. My husband is no longer able to make love — he never has erec- tions except with a full bladder, A. An aging couple are much better off if in earlier years they have had a wide repertoire of sex- ual positions, strategies and pleasuring techniques. With the fong custom of pleasing each other in several ways, they can accept such behavior as loving and cheer- ing. Your husband can still be a lover, or could be one again, if both of you really want him to be. The idea that the male can be made erect by a full bladder is generally considered, nowadays, to be a myth. It may have been a myth based on good observation, but in an earlier age when fess was understood about the effect of ENTIRE INVENTORY Men’s, Women’s, Chil Running shoes Mon., Tues., Thurs. Fai. ‘Sunday Idren’s Clothing and much more. Wed. 10-530 pm. Sat 106 p.m. 11-4 p.m. IDI 1515 Pemberton Ave, Nan. [Last Chance! Open Bvorycay Fi “‘iday 9-9; Sunda; ¥ 12-4 hormones on sexual activity and capacity. It happens that men have erec- tions on waking up in the morning — very often, not always, not nec- essarily, As men age, these erec- tions may seem to be the only ones they have (all the others occur while the man is asleep). The man can have sex before urinating, so it seems the full bladder is causing the erections, but the real reason for the erection is that the man has a higher testosterone level after a night’s sleep. This is why the mor- ning becomes lovemaking time for many older couples. Q. TI can't believe the harmful advice you are pouring out to peo- ple, including the younger genera- tion. A. Read the rest of the paper and catch the TV news to see what is happening in the world. The sexual problems of the young were at epidemic level. before I ever got on radio, TV or into print. What | do is try to advise and infcrm, give factual and helpful guidance to perplexed people who ask for it. I hope that doesn’t sound angry because I’m not. instructor Aquaculture Technician Program Duties: To teach AQUA.131: Business for Aquaculture. Half- time position, 3 hours/week. (1/2 section) Qualifications: Preference given to applicants with degree in business and experience in the Aquaculture industry. Location: Sechelt Salary: Faculty Scale. Appointment: Temporary part time. Jan. 8 to April 39/90. Applications to: Associate Dean, Career/Vocational Programs Capilano College, 2055 Purcell Way, North Vancouver, B.C. V7J 3H5 Closing Date: Dec. 28, 1989. 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