4 - Friday, September 3, 1993 - North Shore News

t in Corvette fuels social

Trevor
Lautens

GARDEN OF BIASES

I'M ASKING readers for
help.

About time, you might say, we
always figured you need help,

Cheap shot. To such readers |
say, as we used to retort as
recently as-50 years ago: ‘Ah,
your fathe,.s moustache!"

Anyway, | ask for your help.

Have you seen a black Corvette
pulling off the following caper:

Recently — Thursday, Aug. 19,
at about 4 p.m., to be exact — !
drove into a small Esso gas station
on Hastings Street at Jackson, a
few blocks east of Main.

I was driving my big old
*“*truck’’ as we fondly call it —- a
GMC Rally Wagon. My four-
year-old son was with me.

The gas bar was busy. Its prices
were relatively low, which caught
my eye, since I] have so many -

costly children to support, We
waited our Cari,

Finally 1 pulled up alongside the

punip and got out,

Is this story boring you? Weil,
sure, 6o far it isn't exactly Gone
With the Wind. Wait. f want your
help, remember.

I went to the back, unscrewed
the gas cap, and turned to get the
pump nozzle.

There was a flash of a human
being, I suppose you could call it,
in front of me. And the human
being had the pump nozzle in his
hand.

| followed him in utter
astonishment. And at approni-
mately the same moment J asked
incredulously, “What are you
doing?"

A split second later it became
clear what he was dging.

He'd backed up his car —a
black Corvette — at right angles
to the gas bar.

Then he'd hustled between my
wagon and a white track that had
pulled up (properly) alongside the
pump at the other end of the gas
bar.

And he had jumped to the
pump and snatched the nozzle 1
intended to use before J had
noticed a thing.

I stared at this Big Shot, as 1
came to think of him, in disbelief.

Big Shet, I suspect, wasn't do-
ing this sort of thing for the first
time. He was ready.

When I reached fer the nozzle,
he at once showed he had his lines
rehearsed.

‘He pushed against me and

“taunted: ‘‘What are you gonna do

about it? You want to do some-

uring the election campaign I will be
asking for your vote, as will other
candidates. 1 will explain where Liberals stand
on the important issues of the day, and what I
expect to accomplish in Ottawa on your behalf.

Unfortunately, many people have become
suspicious of politicians ... who can we believe?
Who can we trust? How can we be certain they
will deliver on their promises? These are
legitimate, important questions.

. Mary Collins has been part of the
Mulroney/Campbell government for nine years.
Her record (or lack thereof) speaks for itself.

Please look at my record of service, and
talk to people who know me and who have

worked with me.

thing about i? Go ahead, call the
police.’

[fooked at the Big Shoat as if he
were mils,

In Fact, | had a chance to ex-
amine him fairly closely. He wits a
shortish guy of dark, maybe
Mediterranean bug, with unusual
liver-brown eyes, and the whites
were almost as brown as the
pupils,

At that moment a beefy young
man in shorts strode across the
station — which does car washes
too — from a chair where he'd
been sitting.

“4 work for this station, and
this guy was ahead of you,”* the
young man told hin,

Big Shot taunted the young man
too. Some very htursh, nose-to-
nose words were exchanged,

But Big Shot knew exactly what
he was doing. He turned and put
the nozzle into the filler of his gas
tank and started filling it.

And he said mockingly: **What
are you gonna do? You gonna pay
for my gas?’

You can see the perfection of
his logic. Once he started putting
gas into his tank, the argument
was over, unless you persisted to
the point of convincing him to
give you the nozzle — and you
pay for whatever gas he had put
in, Or call a lawyer.

Readers will not be surprised
that I felt no fear at all during this
exchange. I felt only disbeiief. I
didn’t think human beings came
quite this small.

Imagine — a Big Shot, driver of
a black Corvette — who jumps
ahead of someone else at a gas
pump, by pulling in at right angles

46 Is a fast back-up at right angles to the gas bar, and

a quick grab at the nozzle, something that’s beginning

to happen? Have you experienced this? dF

to the gas bar!

Readers will also not be sur-
prised that | am too sensiblaéto
escalate anything quite so juvenile
to physical violence.

A man of 58 with a young son
in his vehicle, and dressed ina
fine Dacks sportscoat, slacks and
a white shirt (tie off — a hot day),
has obviously reached an age, it
maturity, and a wardrobe that
don't fit in with a punch-up ona
gas station lot.

But the larger implications of
this episode interest me. And this
is where readers can help. Answers
welcome,

One: Is this a new urban phe-
nomenon — at least in these
parts?

sa fast back-up at right angles
to the gas bar, and a quick grab at
the nozzle, something that’s
beginning to happen? Have you
experienced this?

Two: Could it never happen in
peaceful, cultured places like my
own Greater Tiddlycove?

Three: Or is this 2 novel inven-
tion of the Big Shot who drove
this black Corvette?

Maybe it is. Who knows? He
may strike again.

If so, be prepared. You may

consider this course Gf action:

Do not argue. Do not fuss.

Merely walk to the gas‘pump
and flip the holder to the ‘off’
position.

Big Shot will then be obliged to
return to the pump and flip it to
the “on” position. And return to
filling up his tank.

Repeat.

Big Shot will soon perceive that
at this rate, it'will take him maybe
two hours to fill his tank.

And that would be a great waste
of time for a Big Shot in a black
Corvette who is in too much of a
hurry to wait his turn at a gas

pump.

I’ve complained in the past
about brutal, insensitive,
esthetically disastrous tree-trirn-
ming — butchering — along West
Vancouver's leafy byways. So,
unless others have complaints !
haven't heard of, this year I salute
the municipal chaps and the outfit
that cut back the poughs in front
of my place, Timberline Tree Ser-
vices Ltd., for a job well done.

“Audrey has integrity, intelligence and the .
capacity to find and act on solutions to the
problems we face in Canada today. I hace
known her and worked with her for 4 years and
believe she is precisely the person twe need to
represent us in Parliament.” ;
Lillian Thiersch, Former Chair, Schoo! Board

of West Vancouver

“Audrey, made a significant contribution to ‘
Board deliberations, especially as Chair of the
Finance Committee. She has an excellent. under-
standing of business and education, and she
displayed strong leadership in maintaining a-
fiscally responsible course of action.” We
Lalit Srivastava, Former Chair, Capilano College
Board and Professor, Simon Fraser University

. “Audrey’s commitment to a better Canada for all
Canadians was evident at university, when we

first became friends. In ker personal and
professional life she has met all challenges with
integrity and courage. She is innovative, astute, |
practical and understands the concerns of our
riding. She will be an excellent representative
for Capilano-Hotwe Sound.”

Merla Beckerman, Art Consultant

Here’s what some of them have to say:

“I worked with Audrey in her capacity as a mem-
ber of Vancouver Aquarium Board of Governors
and am very impressed by her intelligence,
articulate speech and personality.”

Murray Newman, Director (Retired),

Vancouver Aquarium “I had dealings with Audrey in the decelopment

and management of a software company. She is a

straight-shooter, and a capable business person.

She showed a high energy level and a compre-

hensive understanding of what it takes to start

and manage a successful company. She will

make an excellent Member of Parliament.”
Winslow W. Bennett, Private Investor

. “Uhad the opportunity to work with Audrey on
the United Way Board. I have always been very
impressed by her dedication, energy, the strong
results she has achieved and her desire to
continue serving.”

George Suart, Vice President, United Way of the
Lower Mainland and Vice President (Retired),
of Sinon Fraser University

Would you like to participate in the canipaign
or talk to me abont my record?
Please phone 926-3876
or drop i in to the Volunteer Headquarters,
Second Floor, 1331 Marine Drive,
West Vancouver

Authorized by WD, Shoe
Official Agent far A