50 - Friday, November 28, 1997 — North Shore News MY apologies to my Mom and her friends who may have been offended by last week’s scol photo of me flip- ping the bird. For the rest of you ... well, there it is, The offending yet effective photo did not accompany one of my own commentaries but that of contributing writer M.H. Parnu. in his column, Parnu regurgitated some pap about combating road rage according co Karen Lock, a claims specialist with The Co- Operators (a national home/life insurance agency which also happens to be an ICBC approved Autoplan dealer). T would not have been offended by this encroachment into my traffic-tip domain had Parnu's colurnn and Lock’s rhetoric contained something of value. It didn’t and ! like to redirect. First off, we're talking, about road rage, the most insidious disease known to motorists. Ir is infectious, pestilent and very contagious. It’s also known to be fatal. There are numerous sources of road rage, not the least of which being the fact that Greater Vancouver high- ways and byways are absolutely saturated with traffic. We are ever populated as far as road design is concerned. Too many people trying to get to too many places in too short a time. Secondly, we are a popula- tion made up in part by bone- heads, the folk who think it their inherent right tw disre- gard the rules and regulations that were designed to aid the safe and efficient flow of traf tic. These are noc pertect rules, bur much better than anarchy. Thirdly, we are a populace that seems to have missed out ona few key Sesame Street episodes, the ones explaining by cxample the merits of co- operation, sharing and altru- ism. And finally, we humans are creatures that learn by example as much as anything else. See a few boneheads running a red and red light intractions seem to become a reasonable dri- ving practice, We see so many inconsistencies out there on the read that the norm becomes an odd mish-mash of safe/surer, dangerous/faster and stupid/stupider. Road rage stems trom the fact chat everyone interprets this mish- mash differently. Everyone prioritizes rules of the road to best suit his or her needs. So what? It’s a big, mean world our there. It’s dog ear dog in the rat-race to finish first in th’, daily game of snakes asd ladders known as life (1 mix metaphors herter than martinis!). Road rage happens and nething short of north shore news # AU ims of claims speci tearing down this town and rebuilding it ftom the road up will change that. So we deal with it. How? Let’s cxamine Karen Lock’s advice from fast week, nor to belittle ber counsel but to ifluserate that not being part of the solution is part of the problem. Her drivel can be divided into nwo categories: Vague and wrong. “The best way to avoid an incicdcad with an aggressive dri- ver is to avoid them.” Sure. Lock up your daughters while you're at it. Don’t go out of the house. Point in fact, you will meet an aggressor or Wo in your daily travels. Pity the aguressor, hate the aggressor bar understand that it is up to you to deal with the aggressor fr-ctively, Think Sesame Street. “Keep a good two car lengths behind every vehi- cle...” Where? On the highway at 90km-h? In a parking lot? Can you be any more obscure? Folks, stay far enough behind another vehicle to allow space/time to react to any eventuality, predictable or oth- erwise. “Don’t take trattic prob- lems personally.” Assuming, of course, we are all Zen Masters. Tam a ripple in a pond, Lam a ripple in a pond. Folks, take it personally. You are responsible for your- self and your car. Get involved by becoming part of the solution to a prob- lem. “Don’t (20 for) a drive after an arguznent to help vou cool down...” Yeah, right. Stay home and bear your wife and yell at your the amazing Suzuki ssaeavee-7 Canada’s lowest priced Japanese car TO kids. Why not dive? You are a ripple in a pond, after all. “Don't drive tu the speed of fast music.” Huh? First of all, music has tempo, not velocity. Secondly, boneheads will be boncheads regardless of music. Thirdly, an Australian study recently observed that driving to loud rock and roll is good for you. It increases your adrenaline, heightens your awareness and quickens your reflexes. So there. Rock and roll forever, man. Then there is the Lock dia- tribe that is just plain wrong: “Avoid contact with eriel T “ised to hide my head under the blankets so monsters would go away. Look folks, MAKE EYE CONTACT! Communicate. If someone is irked with you, apologize —- regardless of fault. A meek lit- te smile or friendly wave will do wonders to diffuse a situa- tion. We're only human and acknowledging that we all make mistakes is most mature, so very adult. Ignoring a prob- lem will NOT make it go away. “If somvone is tailgating you, dom’t tap your brake as a warning...” What should we Go, Karen? Lock “em up and cause a rear- ender? Go into a fit of denial and make the monsters go away? Speed up and lec the fool behind us dictate our speed? While Lock maintains it’s confrontational, the first, best method of dealing with a tailgater is to tap the brakes, which makes vour brake lights wink co the dork behind vou. You’ve contmunicated. Joe alist Dork knows that vou know he’s there. Next, let Joe pass you at the first safe opportuni- ty. . While Parnu’s column was fiddied with Karen Lock clap- trap, it was a noble effort sim- ply for the fact that it addressed an issue that, in my back-pages opinion, cannot get enough press. We're dri- ving around like idiots. It doesn’t have to be that way. IPs tough and mean our there, folks. Deal with it. Take heed of my own meaningless mantra: Be sate. AAMCO Centres have certified technicians with state-of-the-art diagnostic tools. Len Demers, new owner & operator is happy to announce that Aamco is now open Saturdays! ae a 959 Marine Drive. 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