NOTHING IS_ more ridiculous than official bilingualism in a country whose French population numbers only 24 per cent, of whom over 20 per cent are in one province. And nothing (unless it be immigration) threatens the integrity of the nation so much. But in the long run bilingualism will be a fosing battle. The fan- guage started by the Anglo Saxons is now a world language and nothing except the bomb will stop it. Anyone who doubts that need only read The Story of English. (It was a good TV show, too, but the book is better.) It is the story of Empire, now mostly climinated in our schools lest the young be corrupted by racist thoughts, and the story of science and commerce and the growth of American influence. tn France, itself, presidents and prime ministers of recent times have fought against la langue du Coca-Cola. But to no avail. English marches on regardiess. In Japan, Nissan and Datsun write all their international memo- randums in English, and there is something called Japlish. In Japlish, words have local spelling, but are taken from English, as in mai-homu (my home) and man- shon (mansion). The same sort of thing applics in Sweden where they speak Swinglish. In West Germany they talk about die Jeans and die Sound- track, and thousands of educated Germans speak better English than many Englishmen. (And don’t call up to say that that should read Englishmen and Englishwomen.) One of the joys of the language is that it is sharp and short. “Men” can mean ‘‘women,”’ in spite of the efforts of libbers and other lunatics to say it can't. Also, English is not cursed with the genders that afflict other lan- guages. In German, for instance, all nouns are masculine, feminine or neuter. The result, as Mark Twain put it, is that in Germany a young lady has no sex (das Fraulcin) but a turnip has (die Ruebe). Although English is invading French, French is not invading English, cither in Canada or anywhere else. It is truc that we have become used to the sight of French on the cornflake boxes. But we ignore it ~ when we're not cussing it. Outside of Quebec, thanks to those creeps in Ottawa, and at great cost to the taxpayer, French TV stations talk to themselves. For no matter how much the Baloncyites and the CBC push French, English will prevail, The only thing official bilingualism does is to favor French Canadians for employment in the federal job market, a piece of discrimination that is creating a wave of resent- ment. Already, it would cause no loss of sleep in these parts if Quebec cut the cord. The authors of The Story of English deal with the issue of French in Canada, and although you are familiar with it, it may be worth quoting what Robert Mc- Crum, William Cran and Robert ‘Booze who’ on the N. Shore RECENT CONVICTIONS in North Shore courts have resulted in the following fines and penalties for drinking and driving related offences. NORTH VANCOUVER: John Henry Grant, 35, 202-275 East 2nd St., North Vancouver (breathalyser * refusal, 21 days jail); Bartley John Klein, 35, 92-250 East 15th St., North Vancouver (impaired, $800 fine); Casey Robert MacDougall, 19,. 116-145 West Keith Road, North Vancouver (impaired $350 fine); William Michael Karol Butler, 26, 203-2174 York St, Vancouver (impaired, $500 fine). o KX sa ST. PATRICK WITH A NAME LUKE PAT YOU'VE GOT TO BE IRISH RIGHT? We are going Irish ali week from Monday the 14th at Lunch and Dinner. Good Irish Fare ais Lamb Stew with Dumplings, Corned Beef ‘n Cabbage & & uch more IT’S GREAT TO BE IRISH. PATS. : ? Pane ia 15th at. Marine Dr., West Vancouver ". 926-8922 — MacNeil have to say about the ef- fects of Bill 101, which was passed in 1977 and is the law today: “English billboards, poster and storefronts were banned. Students were not allowed to attend English-language schools unless one of the parents had been educated in English at a Quebec elementary school... One result is that there are now more than a thousand unregistered students i in Montreal Catholic schools iiegatly studying English... Teachers for these special classes... were hired unofficially and paid under the table. “Legislation like Loi 101 shows the desperate measures necessary to stem the tide of English. The campaign has changed the English Canadian perception of their French neighbors, and the official policy of bilingualism means that French is safe for a few more gencrations. But all the legislation in the world cannot disguise the fact that even in the French-speak- ing parts of Canada the reality of the English-speaking world is in- escapable."* No use telling our politicians that, of course. No more than a handful of them would even have the guts to stand up in the House of Commons and read out those passages from The Story of English. They are like King Canute and the incoming tide, except that Canute was trying to show his peopic he had no power against the inevitable. Our fools, on the other hand, insist that French on the cornflake boxes ensures the future of a language, even if they don’t believe iLe 9 - Sunday, March 13, 1988 - Nocth Shore News WHY PAY MORE? List with Green Acres Realty the Home of 34%% Commission Multiple at 5% % phone: 872-8586 (24 hes.) ” This Week's Introductory Specials for men & women Perms $39.95 ireg. 55.00) (inctudes cut & finish) Shampoo, Cut, Styling $11.95 cag. 22.00) GOOLI’S HAIR DESIGN 1834 MARINE DR. WEST VAN. 922-8512 No appoiniment necessary R.L. 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