32'- Sunday, April 3,

VORB ~ North Shore Nows

LIFESTYLES

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Cleaning frenzy must be dealt with

DEAR. MiSS MANNER

S — it is difficult. to understand

why a hostess, whose guest f am only two or three times 4
‘year, and then at her strong insistence, ignores me before .
dinner because'she is cooking, during dinner because she is
serving, and after dinner because she is spit-shining the
dishes, pots and* pans, ‘appliances, serving frays, ashtrays,
counter-top, ki(chen floor and anything else not moving.

No one is permitted. to clean

while visiting in our home. After,
guests leave, it takes about 15 .:

minutes .to do dishes and. put

things in order..I enjoy this period .

while I ponder over the delightful
conversation and. events . thal
transpired. ,

‘While. it is impolite for » guest to -.

‘gutp down the Jast bit of food and

run, what about the hostess. who

~~ starts clearing the table the minute

she sees n guest place his napkin on

the table?
_ After a-luncheon, 1 remained
-with another guest for a cocktail..1

had driven quite a distance after.

cancelling two apzointments to al-

‘tend, but there had been no chance |

= to visit during the luncheor.

** Halfway through: my drink, 45...

minutes later, the hostess wes still

‘Zdillgently cleaning.’ She put all the,

‘table linen in the warhing machine,

moved extra chairs‘ back,in place,
- and was polishing the silver. when I
" excused myself ‘and ‘departed. ‘She.’

jaw held a paper-plate barbecue in

“the back yard. Immediately after

dinner, she, her mother and her

cient herself, is impressed with
you being able to clean up after a
dinner party in 15 minutes.)

What a shame that the dutics
they chose to sacrifice were those

“sister made a beeline for the kitch- —

en.to spend the remainder of the’

afternoon cleaning. TF sat at the

bar, and they occasionaily hollered .
al me over the sound of running -

water.

My only recourse was to join the
masculine converastion in progress
on the patio. In.future, should J-
join the cleaning crew, take along

something to occupy me while they .
“slave, or dectine another invitation?

My. mother never ailowed guests to
participate in cleaning chores, but
she had servants.) > =

Is it:possible these people have a
communication. problem?’

GENTLE’. READER Susi

about everything is “defined as a
“communication | problem
‘days, but it sounds to Miss Man-

these.

of the hostess, to entertain and be
entertained ‘by her guests. Since
ihese happen to be the reason for
having company at all, it: seems an
odd choice.

Perhaps they do not realize that
“they could perfectly properly. serve
simpler. meals, dished up from
platters at the table during the
conversation, to avoid fast. “minute

ners as if what these people have i is

a servant problem: :

* Unlike your:mother, they don’ t
have any servants. And unlike you,
they: have-not learned —how::.
graciously. to be both hostess and
cook- server-and-clean te.

cooking and mealtime commuting.
{f one removes plates (after
everyone is finished) and holds
them for an instant under a runn-
ing faucet, one can put them

- miss
manners
- Judith Martin

‘directly. into. the dishwasher or.

stack them.,: neatly” for. later

washing,.in hazdly any more time’

than it takes to pile them haphaz-
ardly on the counters and let them
get gummy and hard to clean.” «>:

Heavy-duty cleaning’ should cer-

tainly -not be done in front -of
guests, © i
However, this, does not answer:

bedding seis now -
HALF PRICE...»

the question of what to do when’
they engage in it. Disapproval.of
the practice does not entitle one to

continue the party alone, even if. ~

that were any fun, and you have
discovered that it, is not. Even
lighting: out of there, ‘which: is
understandable as you were invited
to dinner, not to spring cleaning, is -
unattractive, .

One: is' also required to ask
“May 1 help?’’ -no matter: how

« Histlessly, and whether or not one ;

actually does. At: family dinners,

cleanup time is often quasi-social:

time, and you would do -well to.’
pitch in. Miss Manners. trusts. that.’
you would also assist’a particularly
hard-pressed friend. But even’ if
the hostess is merely choosing to
do her routine cleaning. up rather:
than. socializing, you must pick , up,
a disheloth in the hand that i is not.
holding your drink. . :

“And the most. you.can do‘is.to
try to. distract the hostess.:‘‘Please,
we haven't had a ‘chance to talk:
Couidn't we sit down together just”
fora minute?’’ Ce

‘Contestants ‘shall. authorize’ the
ejease {of ..her.. photograph * to
‘Capilano Mail Merchants Crop.. for
heir use in advetising purposes relat
ing to this ‘contest.. Winner's parent
:or.guardian shail sign a release and
‘acknowledgement... that’ releases
‘Capilano Mall and all participants in
his contest from any causes.of ac-
ion, claim or demands whatsoever
which ‘ may. now .or, subsequently
rise“and that: acknowledges" win-
“ner’s compliance with all rules from
his .contest.*-* Photos annot be
‘returned : aa

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