A8 - Friday, September 14, 1984 - North Shore News

Collins LIKES (believe it or not)...!

CHALLENGE has been issued to your

agent by someone who shall be nameless, in

case anyone gets the idea that I’m sucking
up. ‘‘Why don’t you write a column about the
things you like,’’ he says? Good idea, says I.

Right away, | thought of
Lisa Hobbs, who used to be
on The Sun, and wrote that
the only thing | lhked was

chewing nails. Carpenters’
nails.
But there must be some

things I like, mustn’t there? 1
nearly gave up, though, when
I asked my wife and she
couldn’t think of anything
either.

‘It’s all food,’’ she said.

Anyway, here goes:

1 hke:

Drivers who signal wel] in
advance that they are going
to turn left at a traffic hght.
Those who forget, or don’t
care, and therefore make me
wait for the next light, set me

to screaming. My wife says |
don’t always signal, either.
But that’s nonsense. All my
fellow nail-chewers say I’m
perfect.

Union people who don’t go
on strike. They are the clever
ones.

Doctors who say that my
high blood pressure doesn’t
matter much, and that when
the sphygmomanomerter yells
for help, it’s only because 1
am an emotional person and
worry too much about the
health of dogs and whether
I’m going to catch a fish.
Me? Emotional? That’s all
wrong, doc. All my -fellow
nail-chewers say I’m the
calmest guy around.

Lying back in one of those

get this
straight

by
Doug Collins

wonderful
they have

dentist’s chairs
these days and

looking up into the beautiful
blue eyes of the dentist’s
female help. Don’t think
we're going to be able to do
that for much longer,
though, because it'll be put
down as sexual harassment.
Children on buses who give
up their seats to old people.

Television and radio an-
nouncers who don’t say
MosCoOw. There is no cow in
Moscow and _ hasn’t been
since Napoleon burned the
place down.

Knowlton Nash, for ac-
tually taking notice of what |
told him about the
question.

Media people who have
mastered Basic English — of
whom there are very few. On-
ly the other day, Allan
Fotheringham was sending
me round the bend with this
gem: ‘'The Tories, under the
charming healer Brian
Mulroney, whom one hopes
can grow into the job, are the

cow

Gl mailbox DK

Money for MEN---the biggest losers

Dear Editor:

] read with interest your

August 31, 1984 Crossfire
column concerning John
Turner's proposal of rent

subsidies for single parents.
While the two protagonists
featured in the column dif-
fered on the efficacy of such
a proposal, neither of them
seemed in any doubt that the

essential problem centered
around the single parent,
rather than the spouse who
had not been given custody
of the children.

It seems to me, given the
massive discrimination
against men now being exer-
cised by the courts (85% of
custody orders are awarded
in favour of women; 95% of
maintenance orders are

awarded in favour of
women), that any proposal of
subsidies should be directed
to those most obviously in
need ~— i.e. divorced men.
After all, aren't they the ones
society has chosen to carry
the financial burden, no mat-
ter how unfair or impossible
that burden may be?

As it stands now, in the
event of divorce (the majority

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of which are imitiated by
women), a man loses not only
his wife, but also his children
and his financial future.

Subsidies for single parents
— Bah!

Money for men — now!
P. Nielsen-Koiding

Men's Action Committee
Vancouver

first national government in
years.’’ Him hopes Brian can
grow into the job?

Libbers who pay their own
way in restaurants. Haven't
met any, but there must be
some.

Letter-to-the-editor writers
who get things straight.

Professors who get things
straight, among whose
number | would not place
Professor Philip Pinkus of
West Vancouver.

The advertising man on the
North Shore News who, right
below a column in which I
was bashing her, and unwit-
ting of what I was writing
about, placed a large election
ad extolling the virtues of

lona Campagnolo. Unwitting
or witting, it gave me the
laugh of the week.

Strange cats who rub up
against my leg, purring, sure
in the knowledge that I am
sweet at heart, if not always a
sweetheart. ‘

Friends on the Left who
are still friends, even though
1 long ago ceased to share
their Weltanschauung.

Ron Huntington, who did
his best.

Will Shakespeare, who
could pack more good
writing into one short

passage than most of us will
pack into a lifetime.

Editors who provide ideas
for columns. (Suck, suck!)

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