page 14, December 22, 1976 - North Shore News Well, sir, it looks like anuther year is about set fer to go up the spout. The wife is thrashin’ arount in the kitchen, making mince tarts an she gets maddern’ hell when I give one to the littel dog. There jest ain't any fig- gerin’ the female mirid, so I don’t waste time tryin’ to tell her the littel dog has give me loyalty an love evry day of its iife.wick 1s ahelluva lot more than 1 can say fer the relatives wot are goin’ to show up purty soon an eat the whole shebang. T’ain’t ony that, but purty soon they is gonna start descending on me like one of them plagues the Good Lord flang out. Believe me, the Wrath of the Lord jest ain’t anything. compared to the wife’s relatives! Wot they can do to my likker supply is like termites tacklin’ a hemlock two-by-four. The hell of it is, I gotta spend excrooshiatin’ hours in re- turn trips, balancing a thimble-full of cooking sher- ry while the whole rangatang crew runs thru the uncles an aunts an cousins-fourth- removed wot has kicked the buckit. Wile I set watchin’ them, one thing is fer damn shur: like the wife ses, wot with my cussin’ an so forth, I won't be bothered with them in the . Hereafter, becus we is goin’ to different places... but I will shur as heck ‘have fun firin’ anthracite into them boilers to make it hot fer them! Anyway, like you mite have figgered, she is coming up fer Christmas. So I snuck anuther mince tart an me an the littel dog took off into my littel room in the basemint an .we thunk about Christmas, fifty years ago. My granddad must have bin smiling, behint his big white moustache, when he tolt me about the Christmas Fairy. On Christmas, he sed, it brot a littel whip fer Bad Littel Boys an that shur scairt the hell outta me! — All I wanted fer Christmas was a puppy dog fer to X-country ski course The West Vancouver Rec- reation Centre is offering an extensive Cross Country Ski Instruction Program begin- ning in January at the Cypress Bowl area. Adults can receive in- struction at the novice and intermediate level both in the form of ski lessons and lectures. Childrens’ lessons are being offered for the first time for boys and girls 6-12 years of age on two consec- utive Saturdays beginning January 29. False alarm cont. from p. 5 ' **Persons found guilty of this indictable offence are liable to a 2-year prison term,”” he warned. *‘These offences are of a very serious nature, and the fire depart- ment will be doing all possible to apprehend res- ponsible parties,"" he added. Another sctious result is that “‘equipment tied up in ‘ responding to false alarms is not. available to protect propertics that might be involved in a fire at the time.”* Waddell explained. “The possibility of road accidents while responding to a non-existent fire is of concern, too."* So far this year there have been 46 cases of false alarms | reported, Waddell said. The culmination of the ski lesson season is a ski tour at Manning Park in March with overnight lodging already having been secured. There is a limit of 20 people who may attend and some places have already been reserved. A well qualified and experienced staff has been assembled to teach all aspects of the Cross Country Ski Program. Kari Wiig and Eva Gaarder, both born in Norway and holders of the Canadian Ski Association Instructor’s rating will teach both weekend and mid-week classes: snuggle into bed with, but when I woke next morning there wus this. littel whip layin’ on my pillow! It has a handle paintid bright red an I snuck out real quick an buried it in a big snowbank. I spose Granddad an the folks wus watchin’ frum behint the window curtains, jest killin’ themselves laugh- in’, becus next morning the dang thing. wus back agin! ‘Well, sir, in the days before Christmas I buried that damn whip in the coal ‘bin an in snowbanks an jest " about every place I cud think of, but it wudn't go away. inally, she cum Christ- mas morning an I riz up in my nightshirt an went into -the front room an_ the Christmas tree wus shur beautiful, jest settin’ there a’sparkling with silver icicles an littel red paper bells... but best of all wus the soft littel puppy dog under the tree. I picked it up and it wiggled arount an licked my face an I spose I cried a bit - but rite then an there I figgered there wus Someone who had fixed the Fairy fer _ good! On a folded blanket under the tree, where the littel puppy had waited fer me, was The Whip. It wus chewed to smith- ereens. 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