A4 - Sunday, September 30, 1984 - North Shore News

Travelling man.

NYBODY WHO MAKES part of his living

by travel writing is left with a lot of impres-

sions and anecdotes that don’t fit into any
conventional ‘‘travel piece’’.

For instance, | was leaving
Munich, West Germany, en
route to Zurich, Switzerland,
not all that long ago, having
arrived at the debarkation
point at the end of the ter-
minal, when a voice an-
nounced over the public ad-
dress system that all
passengers would have to go
out on the tarmac and iden-
tify their baggage.

Groaning only mildly, our
party clambered down the
stairs and oul onto the pave-
ment, where our luggage had
been lined up. It was a good
ploy. Had |! been some nut-
case with a bomb or a
weapon stashed in my bag, |
would have been nicely
trapped.

Sull, itis always unnerving
to come fact-to-face with
humorless armed guards. The
young fellow holding the sub-
machine gun, his finger on
the trigger and the satety
catch lifted, watched each ol

us as we pointed to our
luggage

! offered him a smile, then
wished | hadn't) Instead of

even a nod in return, | got the

distinct impression he was

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viewing me in silhouette hke
a target On a practice range.
And of course he was.

Borders are always slightly
unnerving. | remember leav-
ing Nassau once ta company
with a friend of mine. We'd
enjoyed nearly two weeks of
reasonably gonzo
debauchery, with myself get-
ting lost in the back streets of
Nassau, falling in with a gang
of Rasties whose big kick was
to roar through back lanes in
a crumbling 50s° Chevvy, try-
ing to run down little red
dogs called potheads.

By the time we reached the
airport, | was sunburned,
baggy-eyed, generally quite
wasted-looking. By contrast,

my fmend looked neat and
businesslike.
Guess who they busted

looking for drugs? Well, they
just waved me through

We could only assume that
drug smugglers use a routine

line thal one clean guy. one
weido, hoping the furry
looking freak brother wail
take the heat Ir doesn't
work, kiddies

The worst) border [ever
crossed, bar none, was the

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tastes
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Mexico-U.S. boundary fine,
trying to get out of Mexico at
Laredo, Texas. This was
back in 1967. I'm not sure
what it’s like now. | haven't
gone back.

Not only were my wife and
1 subjected to body searches,
but our kids’ toys were rip-
ped apart, the contents of the
entire van dumped on the
pavement — and when it was
all over and absolutely
nothing bad had been found,
the guards were so rude as [o
make us put everything back
inside ourselves

1 might have sull forgiven
them, except that when we
were finally ready to proceed
across the line, a guard stuck
an aerosol can in through the
window and fumigated us!

And then there was the
tume | flew to Australia from
San Francisco, stopping in at
Hawan to refuel. Everything
was fine unl the takeoff
from Honolulu, when the
pilot casually announced that
the landing gear wouldn't
retract, so we'd have to circle
for a few hours, buring off
fuel, before attempting to re
land tor repairs

The good news was that
drinks would be free Ob,
terrific!

When we eventually go?
down on the tarmac, it was

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40) rtwr

NEWS photo Terry Peters

the middle of the night. The
confectionery staff were off
duty, which meant no more
food could be brought
aboard. However, not ta
worry! Drinks would still be
ree!

When we got aloft, the
pilot admitted that the lan-
ding gegrstill wasn’t working
properly, but, ‘‘We’ll try for
Sydney anyway.”” On = an
empty stomach and a head
full of terror, you can tm-
agine that your correspon-
dent put away a few gallons
of booze before the landing,
umpteen hours later.

Of course, |! don't
remember the actual descent.
Somehow, the next day, |

woke up in Australia with a
terrible hangover. It was the
only way of knowing for sure
| was alive.

And that’s life on the lone-
ly stratospheric trail. it looks
easy, but tt ain't!

a SOR A oa c

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