». - North Shore News — Wednesday, Octuber 25, 2000 Cae: living ookey Parental Guidance PITY my poor children. Each week they wait, in horror, to see if Lam going to say something embarrassing . about them in my column. I suppose all children of writers or cartoonists live in constant fear that their slightest foibles will be hoisted up the flagpole, and embellished upon, in order to get good copy. I may be messing them up for life. There it is, out in the open. I may be messing my children up for life. It may not be the column-writing, it may be the simple example I set, the restrictions I put on them, the activities which I favour for them, or the activities which I do not allow. It may be some sarcastic remark I make, some special event to which I don’t pay enough attention, some moment when I was desperately needed and hopelessly unavailable. It may be genetic — on my wife's side of the family, of course! Perhaps my children have a right to live in fear. At some point in dme during our lives together, I've yelled at them, belitdled them, ridiculed them, given them a whack on the rear end, banished them to Natur al Gas Prices are GOING UPI sWhe Selkirk Pre mium Series Gas Firep! lace ‘with’a Built-In. Thermostat can help you: save. money! FREE | ESTIMATES. mo ‘Western Canada's - largest one of a kind gift fair since 1972 ; : Circle Craft Christmas Market Novemsber 8 - 12, 2000 at the Vancouver Convention & Exhibition Centre Wed-Fri 10-9 Sat 10-7 Sun 10-5 “Daily Aditton: $8/$6 Show Pass: $10 Children under 12 free ~ eet wowwcirclecraftnet AAR SR OT MAH EN Ra ROT LR OTD Ae, Suffer the little children - nu their rooms, sent them to bed hungry, marched them back in shame fo someone to apolo- gize or make amends, and a whole host of other parenting evils that could fill some psy- chological paper should they ever commit a crime and someone wish to find out why. Pm sure I have been the main character in some of their greatest nightmares. Add to that the fact that I don’t fet them watch televi- sion during the week, don’t Jet them hang out with their friends where and when they wish to, demand they keep up in all schoolwork, punish them when they use bad language or are disrespectful to others, and force them to keep any commitments they make, and you can pretty well see why Rigs’ Sturt Haifoween Howk Half hour of chilling tales for 6-9-year- olds, W.V. Memorial Library. Thursday, Oct. 26, at 3:30 p.m. Robotics presented by Joe Newton for children in Grades 4-7 at the N.V. City Library, Thursday, Oct. 26, 3:30 p.m. Pre-register: 998-3480. Halloween Puppet Show: they are at great risk for per- manent mental damage. To top it all off, it's their mother who’s really tough on them. She makes them feel guilty. Incredible, really. Where did I come up with her as a fit mother for my chil- dren? With all of these insufter- able parenting errors, it is no wonder my children scan the paper with trepidation, con- cerned that their shortcom- ings, undoubtedly a by-prod- uct of misguided parenting, should be accentuated as if they were their fault. This would be the ultimate embar- rassment, to be held publicly and personally accountable for the severe psychological dam- age done by their parents. I should resist the tempta- Half hour of spooky fun for 3- 5-year-olds at the W.V. Library. Friday, Oct. 27, 10:30 a.m. Drop-in French Movie: For all ages at the N.V. City Library. Saturday, Oct. 28, 11 am. ‘Tintin’s —_ L’Affaire Tournesol. Info: 980-4424. Maplewood Farm Pumpkin Event: Saturday, Oct. 28, 10 a.m.- 4 p.m. Info: 929-5610. 2 for 1 Lasertag Game Ticket! Bring in this.coupon and receive your second game free Valid Mon-Fri. Not valid with other Cmts. | ‘One coupon per customer offer expires November 4 LASER DOME) 141 West 16th ‘treet, North Van Ph: 925-6033 | staff to celebrate the of north Vancouver Grand Opening, Lower Level Sunrise Park, 1010 E. 4th Street at 10:00 a.m. Sunday, October 29, 2000 Come... help celebrate our success! tion to discuss them at all. I should use behavioural theo- ries and the tribulations of others to highlight my view of how the world of parenting should work. But as you have read, I have already broken all the best theorie#of parenting, and most of the time I am too wrapped up in my own family problems to view very objec- tively the problems of others. I Write of our circumstances not because we are abnormal, but because we are quite normal in the challenges we face, the solutions we experiment with and the occasional lunatic moments we share. So boys, if vou are reading this, relax. Although you sup- ply me with plenty of writing, opportunities, you have noth- ing to fear in what I write. er all, vou are the product of two parents whose feet are spinning under them tying to keep up with you, and we are all normal — sort of. Someday we will all look back at our public moments and laugh together, probably as you begin your writing career on _ caring for elder parents. ’'m well aware my time will come, : and confident you'll have lots and lots of good stories to tell about me! on Grakam Hookey is the. author of Parenting Is A Team™ Sport. He can be contacted at . “NEWS 'S photo Torry | Petare Witch way THIS witch was obviously so eager to’ get. here tor Malloween she took a wrong turn and hit a hydro pol Join Mayor Barbara Sharp and Members of City Council, Mayor Don Beil and Members of District Council, and Blair Redlin of the BC Transportation Financing Authority, together with the City and District of North Vancouver's Joint Bicycle Advisory Committee, and Engineering, Parks and Environment ike Route Please gather at Sunrise Park at 10:00 a.m. to cycle the Lower Level: Bike Route to the oid ivoodyville Gas Station site, where the official ribbon cutting ceremony wil! take place at 10:45 a.m. A shuttle’ service will be available for those not able to cycle. For more information and site location contact Engineering, _ Parks and Environment @ 983-7333 or visit our website at www.cnv.org/newsrele: -in the 2700-block of Chesterfield Ave: ae * Mayor Barbara A Shap Councillor Bill Bell : Councillor Bod Fearnley” / Councillor Craig Keating