Letom

March 16, 1980

~

_ask hayden stewart

QUESTION: My : : husband
has wadergone,s startling
change, the implications of

-which are shattering to me.

He ts about 40 and I am a
little younger. We have been
married 18 years, during
which I have been absolutely
true to him (except for one
“slip” which he knows about)
and I have. every reason to
believe that he has been
faithful to me too. Six days
ago he told me that he wants
to be free to enter into
promiscuous relationships, If
and whenever he wants to.
In fact, he sald he.is going to
do so, but would like it best
if I gave him my ‘sanction.
and also felt free to follow
the same path. He did not
say he wants me to have
extra-marital relations, but
that he wants me to know it
fs all right with him for me to
follow my inclinations.

My “inclinations” do not
go in that direction and I feel
certain his never have until
now. We have really ‘had a
very good marriage in every
way. We have been happy,
busy, ardent and, in my way
of thinking, beautifully
fulfilled, I told him that his
idea is overwhelmingly
difficuls for me to fathom,

QUESTION: Some of ‘the
ads these days and some of
the TV commercials are
really tn very bad taste. It is
putting it mildly to say they
upset me not a little. Some
of them I just hate and I've
let myself get worked up to a
pitch about them that I know
ts too childish all together. I
think the thing that bothers
me most is that I have no say
whatsoever. You've got to
see them or read them. You
can kick about them, but
nothing ts accomplished. So
what can a petson do to keep
a degree of balance?

“let alone consider, and that I
would need some time to
think things out. He said that
he -understands, and .sug-
gested that we reach a
decision by the end of the
month!

I am going to seek out
someone to talk to, but in
the meantime, I though: I
would like to hear what your
comments would-be. So far,
I have no clear light on how I
should react. What do you
think? -

STEWART:
first of all, on your own part
in the proposal he has made.
Try to separate yourself
from HIS part in it and
consider yourself. Re-
examine your reasons and
your feelings that have
prompted your immediate
negative reaction to his idea.
See if you feel good about
those reasons and feelings.
Are they deeply important to
you? Are they “at home” in
the very centre of your
nature?

Does your higher self lure
you towards an acceptance
of his ideas, or does it urge
you to go another direction?
Pay loving respect to your
own nature, not only in this

hose tasteless ads

ANSWER: Apart from
learning to handle the ice

-and fire of your emotions, in

general, you will be helped
in the particular instance
you mention by doing
something that could bring
about at least some of the
results you want.

Yesterday I read an ad,
paid for by the Canadian
Advertising Advisory Board,
which tells us consumers
that there IS something we
can do about advertising we
hate. The following is a
quote from the ad. “If you
think the advertising is in
bad taste or is an insult to
your intelligence, write and

That darn cat

QUESTION: There's a cat
next door that meows and
yow!s a lot at any time of the
day or night. What can be
donc? ,

STEWART: [ve thought of
three things. But they're all
against the law. I'll bet
you've thought of them too.
Don't do any of them! My
cat expert tells me that if the
cat is mew in the neighbor-
hood it will settle in after a
couple of weeks. It's just
letting the word get around
that it has arrived. If it
persists after that two weeks
period of grace, I have a
feeling you'll just have to put
up with it or get some car
plugs. You could talk with
the owner, but not many cat-
owners who are talked to
about the bad behaviour of

their pets, turn out to be
very chummy neighbours.

My ESP receivers are
letting me know that already
you're back to considering
the unlawful methods open
to you. | think I wouldn't if |
were you.

Concentrate.

“or two, while you both get

-the product. When sales go

r

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His new
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only} is forthe
convenience of North Shore residents.

wants freedom

specific matter, but in
everything that has to do
with your way of life. Keep
saying “yes” to the promp-

tings from your centre.

If you will do that, with
integrity, you will be better .
equipped to speak from
strength and love about HIS
e¢ proposal he has

him on what basis
you are moving toward your

part in
made. Te

decision and offer to him the

opportunity to use the same

basis in reaching his

decision, or any other basis

he feels ready to go along

with. In other words, give

him your sanction in
choosing his
BEFORE he tells you finally

what his path will be. It is his

life. You have no respon-
sibility or right to manipulate
it or try to shape it.

Finally, let him know that
if he chooses in a way that
you can’t go along with, it
will be very very difficult for
you to handle and that you

cannot tell him ahead of

time, how well you will do.
Because of that looming
difficulty, I would like to see
you urge him to postpone his
decision for another month

help in working
through.

things

tell the advertiser so. He
cares. If you think someone
is really getting away with
false or misleading adver-
tising, write us. We care. But
if.you don't like a company’s
advertising, yet aren't really
offended by it, there's still
one very effective way to
deal with it. Just don't buy

down, advertising is one of
the first things a company
looks at as a_ possible
reason.”

The address of the Cana-
dian Advertising Advisory
Board is, 1240 Bay Street,
Suite 302, Toronto, Ontario,
MSR 2A7.

Craig Clark

966-3421 24 HRS.

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