C6-Wednesday, July 9, 1980 - North Shore News

Ishe wrong to be
happy and satisfied?

QUESTION: A _ generation
or two ago the hig emphasis
we were brought up on was
about succeeding,
“amounting to something,”
achieving a _— position of
prominence etc. More
recently there has been the
big emphasis on “growing,”
getting closer to your
potential as a human being,
becoming your “real. self”
etc. Well I don't like the first
one at all, and to tell you the
truth, the second one fs kind
of a drag too. I am just a
very ordinary sort of person,
living a very ordinary sort of
life and that suits me fine. I
have no outstanding skills,
nor do I have any above
average accomplishments to
my credit. The thing I want
to ask about is related to my
being so content. Everyone,

these days, seems to be
interested in “finding them-
selves.” I wouldn't even
know what to look for. 'm
living my life and paying my
bills and doing pretty well at
“parenting” (one of the new
crazy words) and at my job. I
am really quite content. My
question: Why should I go
hunting for ways to improve
my self? I am without stress
and anxiety and depression.
I am happy and satisfied.
Isn’t that enough for one
very ordinary person?

STEWART: You may. well
be the sort of person the
likes of which we have all
too few. You have probably
got into the flow of saying
‘yes’ to your higher self and
are therefore content.

But there is also the possi-

Where have all

bility that you have so
constantly told yourself that
you are such an ordinary
person that now you feel
nothing is to be expected of
you, either by yourself or by
others.

You are not quite content
are you? You seem a bit
uptight about trying to
remain a very ordinary
person in the face of this
generation's emphasis on
growth.

Ask yourself if you have
been a little too lazy or a
little too scared to consider
some enlarging of your life.
But, if you are not kidding

yourself about that sort of -

thing, then by all means,
continue to flow along
within your contentment —
and do it with gratitude.

the nice guys gone?

QUESTION: My girlfriends
and I have a problem we
thought you could help us
with. We are three socially
accepted 20 year old girls
who enjoy an active social
life. The problem ts, where
are all the NICE guys? We
are tired of all the disco
dudes and being harassed at
the bus stops. We'd like to
find out where the friendly
outgoing single gentlemen,
interested in dating and

social outings are hiding
themselves? Any ideas?

STEWART: Either they are
hiding themselves in the
places where you go, or, you
are going to places where

Rejected
volunteer
felt mad

QUESTION:

I've done quite a bit of
volunteer work in my day,
bat twice lately I've been
ignored when I volunteered.
In each case I wrote in, like
they asked, telling them
what I could do and what I'd
like to do and both times - no
response at all. lt makes me
a licthe mad. Do you think I

should tell them off?
STEWART:
I don't think you'd like

doing that and tt probably
would not accomplish
anything Instead, write a
nice letter to the HEAD of
the organization telling him
you think he'd like to know
that some volunteers arc
being snubbed and that you
arc afraid such procedure
would not contribute to good
public relations. Let him
know you are telling bim this
as a favour to his
organization and that if you
can help him work out a way
of avoiding what happened
to you, you would be happy
to volunteer your services

they are not present. That
second alternative might
suggest to you that if you are
not keen on men whom you
label “Disco Dudes,” it
would be smart of you to
stay away from discos.

The first alternative is
more complex. If the nice
guys (whatever that means to
you) seem to be hiding from
you, almost certainly you are
performing or appearing to
perform in ways that either
do not appeal to them, or
frighten them away. Are you
over-doing the “socially
accepted” bit? Are you
“friendly and outgoing,” but
quick to scream “harras-
sment!” when they come on
in ways that are not exactly
in line with what you con-
sider to be “socially ac-

ceptable”? Are you waving
the come-on banners, then
suddenly falling back on the
go-away attitude? If you are,
the word gets around you
know.

Another thought. Your
letter says you are three 20
year old GIRLS, who are on
the watch for GENTLE-
MEN. “Girls” are quite

likely to attract “boys,” and’

probably would do well not
to be too picky about them.
They are boys. If you are
interested in relating happily
to MEN, you might do well
to see if you are still fishing
for boys. Are you reaching
out as girls or as women?
Keep

aA) Sra.

™ Beautiful

one trait
important

dahlias

1

plus many many more

QUESTION: What one
personality trait do you
possess which you consider
to be the most important to
you?

STEWART: What a4
question! Ranking high on
my list of important traits is
my consistent inability to be
nailed down by someone
who asks me a question that
starts off with, “What

co

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convenience of North Shore residents.

one....” I really think that
question is beyond my
answering, even if I wanted
to. What is most important
to me changes from day to
day and from hour to hour.
If I were to answer at all, I
might say that today my
answer could be A SENSE
OF WONDER. But
tomorrow? I don't know.
Why in the world do you
ask?

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