signals

PRATTLING on
about the shortcom-
ings of the Insurance
Corporation of British
Columbia gives me
great pleasure.

ICBC, however, is not
necessarily to blame for our
high insurance rates. We are.
So are the devil’s minions,

We here in B.C. are sur-
- rounded by bone-head dri-
vers who have a tendency to
crash their cars a lot. We
have an inordinate amount
of Americanized folks mak-
ing whiplash claims after
parking-lot fender benders.
Give me a brake!

That said, there is a far
more sinister factor Jurking
on a street near you and
contributing in no small way
to the high f premiums some
of us pay — the auto manu-
facturers. Ford, Saab,
Volvo... Demons all. "(Hey,
when it costs $1,000 to
replace a taillight, you gotta
point a finger somewhere!)

“Safety cage”, “Dual Air
Bags”, “Crumple Zones”
and “Anti-lock Braking
Systems” are but a few of
the modern safety features
found in cars today. Ever
wonder why?

Well, certainly, to make
you and your passengers feel
more safe, but what I infer
from these great features is
that car manufacturers gave
up on. the idea of safe drivers
and invented the safe car
instead. A safety cage? Go
ahead and swerve about like
a pinball if something odd
happens out in front of you
-- just hope that all the cars
around you also have safety
cages. Don’t bother with
looking. ahead and planning
ahead, you’re protected.

Fair enough. Crazy things
happen to the best of dri-
vers, but the burden of deal-
ing with difficult driving sit-
uations has been lightened
by them there demons. And
repairing a dented safety
cage is costly... Hmmm.

These days we have driver
and passenger air bags but
those too are killing people.
So the on/off switch is
required. More moncy for
the maker. Did you know
that it costs around $2,000
to replace one air bag,
whether it was used effec-
tively of not? Hmmm.
Demons I tell ya.

Crumple zones? This is
the nifty feature that allows
the itont of your car to
crumple up like an accordion
upon impact so you won't
have to sweep that dirty old
engine off your lap after a
crash. No need to anticipate
that brick wall ia your lane
ahead, the car is designed tu
handle such day-to-day
obstactes.

Crample your zene and
you mighr as well bave won
on the Price is Right: A

brand new car! Demons love
it when somebody buys a
brand new car.

Aati-lack brakes? In
Shaun"s world these are
called “Anti-thought Braking
Systems.” Go ahead and
panic. Slam on those binders
and swerve abour “till your
heart’s content. Maybe close
your eyes while you're at it.

north shore news

# AUTO
evices a false sense of security

Panic is the lazy man’s
aerobicize. Do vou realize
that you're letting a comput-
er do your braking for vou?
Wiiat are we, cyborgs? Do
you realize that ABS isn’t
designed to stop yeur car in
a shorter distance but to
allow vou to steer whilst
vour fear-of-death has caused
your foot to freeze solidly on

the wrong, pedal?

Don's get me wrong: I
am impressed with these
modern innovations because
accidents do happen.

My complaint is this:
Most vehicle collisions,
loosely termed “accidents.”
are completely avoidable.
The adepr driver spends
most of his day saying,

FINAL ‘97
CLEAROU'

AT THESE PRICES YOU CAN AFFORD QUALITY

‘97 Rav 4

4 door, 4 wheel drive - dual air bags am/fm
cassette & much more!

Loaded! Air conditioning, power windows & locks,
Dower maonroof, sound system & much more

97 7 Chevy Cavalier

Almost brand new, caly $15,995

35 Doge Dakota P/U

Nicely equipped, only 17,000km

$12,888
95 Mazda 626 Cronos ES

V6, p/moon roof, as new, only

Reduced to $17,988

97 Toyota 4-Runner SRS
V6, full of options, immaculate
Reduced to $23,988

92 Valvo 940

Only 60,000km, p/w, p/l, p/seats,

a/c, spotless

91 VW Golf Cabriolet
Save on end of season discounted

now only

“Whew, got cut of that
one!” The bone-head driver
spends his day saying, “Oh,
man, my insurance rates are
going up again!”

Demons would not be
demons if their spanky new
cars included things like
“ergonomic door haadles,
easy to read gauges and
SEVERAL HOURS OF

EXPERT DRIVING
LESSONS.”

The next time ICBC
informs you that your new
taillight will cost more than

your “whiplash” settlement,

give your head a shake

(ha ha). Your car ts costing
us a fortune. It would cost
less if vou would just be
safe.

‘97 Corolla
now only

4 door, am/im cassette, cloth seating, power
Steering and much more!

” Terce!

Alloys, loaded,

88 Camry LE

Low km, local car $7,888

88 Honda CRX

price. black on black, very jow km

91 Pontiac Grand Am LE
4 dr, a/c, only 55,000km $7,395

92 Mazda MPV 4X4

mini-van $16,488

perfect 4 season

now only

Automatic, airbag, remote mirrors and many,
many standard features

Black, alloys, 5 speed, areat shape,
only $8,995
92 Cutlass Supreme

4 door, absolutely loaded, reduced
to $9,988

93 Grand Cherckee Ltd

Loaded inciuding leather reduced

to $49,988