The whapperhooier bonanza

CANADA'S LAST living
Non-Economist was inter-
viewed on Labor Day while
pounding rusty nails straight
in his workshop.

Some men spend their spare
time figuring out haw to diddle
their competitors, the income tax
department or the union but the
Non-Economist is best working
on $5 worth of nails.

“The other things are paper or,
often as not, nothing more than
imagination. They have no place

in the real world, with nails or
turnips,” he explained.

2 You've heard about the
Prime Minister saving the tax-
payers a billion dollars?

A: Of course, That was an-
nounced weeks ago. She is not
going to buy the Mulroneys’ old
furniture,

Q: Itisn’t furniture this time.
it's helicupters. She is only going
to buy 43 of them instead of 50.
She says this will save the poor
taxpuyer a billion dollars.

A; IL would be telling the tax-
‘payer that sort of thing too, with
an election coming up.

Q: At's not that simple. This is a
cut of 14% in the order, if you
were buying 14% fewer nails you
would expect to pay 14% less to
Lumberland, wouldn't you?
However the original order was
for $5.8 billion worth of whap-
perhoofers and 14% of $5.8
billion is only $812,000.
| As For Ottawa, remarkably
‘accurate calculating. She is only a

‘ couple of hundred million out.
Would that she could do as well
‘with the national budget.

.Q: Reporters asked her about
the discrepancy and she explained
it, but nobody quite understands
the explanation... ‘

oA; That’s more like the’ Ottawa
: we all know and love.
’ Q: She said the savings on the
ue order would be only $650 million
“instead of $812 million but there -
:- would be attendant savings, $150
‘million from.a lower contingency
. fund and $200 million from a
“lower inflation rate.
OAS ‘Weill, ‘as we hon- economists

PAULITICS & PERSPECTIVES

say, a hundred million dollars here
a hundred million dollars there,
after a while it begins to add up
into real money.

Q: Then perhaps you could ex-
plain to our readers what the true
Savings are?

A: There are no true savings,
They are what the politics of the

-mMoment require. You will recall

that as defence minister she in-
sisted that all 50 helicopters were
required, but now, as a prime
minister facing re-election, she has
found it necessary to overrule
herself. That is why she calls it the
mosi difficult decision of her ca-
reer, overruling herself.

Q: Would you please return to
telling us why there are no true
Savings?

A: Happily. There are no true
savings because there is no truth
in government accounting. Figures
are what creative accounting
determines they should be.

The prime minister says $200
million is being saved by a lower
inflation rate over the 10-year
term of the contract.

Since neither she nor any other
human being knows what inflation

-will be, I think she has showed ©

commendable restraint in saying
that only $200 millions will be
saved. She could just as easily.
have said that $400 millions will
be saved.

Q: And the contingency fund
saving is also smoke and mirrors?

A: Hf course. She could have cut
$5 millions from the contingency
fund or $500 millions. We all take
what comfort we may from the
fact that her dart struck in the
$150 million square.

Q: Da you think the public will
be grateful that $1 billion Las been
cut from the $30 billion deficit,
even though the figures are only
impulses on a computer screen?

A: The public knows better.
Already Defence Minister Tom
Siddon has explained there will be
zero savings in the next five years,
during which time the prime
minister has promised to cut the
$30 billion deficit to zero, She'll
have to make savings on paper
clips or something else instead.

Q: Are there yet other estimates
of the savings?

A; Yes. Some people say the
helicopter manufacturer may not
accept the proposition that all
governments lie, cheat and steal
and may sue for breach of con-
tract. Then the contract might cost
a few hundred million extra.

Another view is taken by the
mayor of Abbotsford, a town
which expected to benefit from a
helicopter contract. He says the
helicopter purchases are a net gain
to Canada.

We may assi:me that if the
prime minister had increased our
order to 100 from 50, the tax-
payers would all be twice as well
off as they are now.

Q: What is the ordinary man to
make of it all?

A: Billions mean nothing to or-
dinary people. We focus on $6,000
expense accounts for senators.
And, those of us with the capacity
for grand concepts, may grasp the
idea of $150,000 to buy used
chesterfields. But not millions and
billions.

Q: Isn’t it one thousand mil- '
lion?

A: Here, yes. In England, the
word means a million millicn
dollars.

Q: A big aif: ference.

A: Don’t give it a thought. No-
body does. :

Youths sought after officer neatly hit

SCHOOL- RELATED
‘problems. started before the
“new ‘school year even began
in West Vancouver.
‘West: Vancouver Police Depart-
ment Const." Jamie Gibson said
the police :are searching for two'
oWoaths who ‘nearly ran. down @
‘police officer at West. Vancouver
: «secondary , school ° late Monday
hight a
‘Gibson said the incident occur-
“red at 11:25: p.m. on Monday,
"© Sept. 6; the day before the new
‘school year began. . .

He said that a police officer was .

working a roadblock near the rear
of the school during an annual

- student sleep-over on the school

grounds when the driver of a car
he attempted to check nearly ran
him over before fleeing the area.

“The suspect .vehicle drove at
the officer, the officer.jumped to
the side, at which time the suspect
vehicle reversed down Kings
Avenue at a high rate of speed,
striking the curb and. narrowly
-missing parked cars,’’ said Gib-
son, «

He added that the suspect vehi-

cle fled east along Kings Avenue
and then north along !5th Street.
The police are looking for a
two-door, dark blue, late-model
Nissan Pathfinder.
The driver is described as being

a white male, approximately 18

years old.

A male passenger fitting the .

same - description
sought.

is also . being

Anyone with information on the
incident is asked to contact the
West Vancouver Police Depart-
ment at 922-4141.

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- North Vancouver: After some minor price corrections during the summer, the market in August settled down. Currently, well
priced homes are selling quickly and close to asking price. West Vancouver: Sales activity in August was slower. Currently

there are many well priced properties on the market.

September Update

North Vancouver
3 Bedroom Houses

Total No. of Sales: 24
Median Sales Price: $297,000

Median Days on Market: 32

2 Bedroom Condominiums

Total No. of Sales: 19
Median Sales Price: 455,000
Median Days on Market: 53

1221 Lonsdale Ave.

Brenda Kinnear, Manager

985-9544

710 - 333 Brooksbank Ave.
Satnam Sidhu, Manager

988-2022

Information on property types based on MLS
sales for the month of August 1993, as
provided by the Real Estate Board of Greater

I’m sold on Royal LePage,

West Vancouver.
3 Bedroom Houses
; 7 Total No. of Sales: 10

Median Sales Price: $424,000"
Median Days on Market: 35 .

2 Bedroom Condominiums

{ _- Total No. of Sales: 4

Median Sales Price: 5249,000
Median Days on Market: 19

Vancouver.

QAUNGEUVAATHTTAN UT

ROYAL LEPAGE

2407 Marine Drive
Heather Gates, Manager

926-6011