46 - Sunday, December 24, 1989 - North Shore News

NEWS photo Mika Waketield

PAUL CHUN of the West Vancouver Montessori Preschool sings
along with his classmates to seniors at the West Vancouver Care Cen-
tre at a recent concert to entertain centre residents.

CHRISTMAS GIVING

Joint present

soives problem

DEAR MISS MANNERS — Every Christmas my father’s
feelings are hurt because I buy him a nice present and buy
my stepmother a small, inexpensive gift. Neither of my
brothers acknowledges her, not even verbally, and my sister

mails one small gift for both of them. t .< eg ae ' : S, Jacquards :

f am buying something only to
pacify my father, net because she
is my favorite stepmother. I buy
small gifts for my stepfather and
my husband’s stepfather, whom I

miss
Manners
Judith Martin

like. My father says, ‘‘We spend
the same on you as en your-hus-
band, and you should do that for
us." [am ready to stop exchanging
gifts altogether.

GENTLE READER — It is not
quite nice of you to price your
presents according to whether
people are relatives or step-
relatives, but then it’s not quite
nice of them to notice how much
the presents are worth, so you are
even. Your sister seems (o have an
effective solution in getting them a
joint present, so that the uneven-
ness of outlay on cach of them is
not apparent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — if
my daughter is living with a man

but not married to him, and they
give presents at Christmas, is it
proper to say that they are from
her and her live-in boyfriend? I'm
not particularly happy that they
are not married.

GENTLE READER — Whether
you are worried about how the
card should be signed or how the

‘jtem should be identified when you

are showing it to others, you have
not made clear to Miss Manners,
You have made your chief worry
clear, but that is not a question of
etiquette.

In any case, a present from two
people is associated with both of
their names, ‘'Love, Kelly and
Clint’’ or ‘Kelly and Clint sent me
this lovely doily.’’ Etiquette does
not recognize the term ‘‘live-in
boyfriend’”’ for use in this connec-
tion, as, for example, a card might
be signed ‘‘Merry Christmas frorn
Aunt Karen’’ or you might say
“This ,is from my Great-Uncle
Lloyd.””

DEAR MISS MANNERS — My
husband's parents have considered
my children as their grandchildren,
and my grandchildren as_ their
great-grandchildren, since we were
marzied 10 years ago (both of us
for the second time, each with
three grown children). They
remember all special occasions
with lovely gifts and attend when
they can. And my children return
the affection.

Next spring, my in-laws will
celebrate their 50th anniversary.
We are planning a church recep-
tion foliowed by a dinner for fami-
ly and close friends, with invita-
tions, flowers and a photographer.

How do we handle the family
situation? Should my children and

See Take
Page 48

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