Mr. and Mrs. Blank spent . a year saving for’a perfect winter holiday. In their middle thirties, they had no family and both had satisfying jobs. It wasn’t that they really hated kids, but ~neither cared much for them so they did the younger generation a favor when they “chose not to become parents. oe Perfectly satisfied with their own company, they chose a resort in the Caribbean, promising lots of * water sports, bicycling, midnight buffets and all the hooch you could pack away (which in their case was a fair amount). : + b y Ba rbata _ McC readié Upon their arrival, they discovered that their resort ‘catered to families. The group next door had three kids under six, one of whom screamed all night (teething, I suspect!). Daddy minded the other two while mom and baby slept in the af- ternoon. His “minding” consisted of warning the little dears not to disturb Mommy and stay out of the water. Meanwhile, Daddy drank doubles. ravel- . The The kids amused them- selyes by playing “knocky, knocky, nine-doors” through the hotel. When this failed to amuse, they captured lizards which they pushed through delivery slots and even better, into partly made beds (one distracted the maids while the other speaked into open rooms. _ Mealtimes were fun times. Loud fights never ceased to- gain attention and could easily ‘be heatd over the screams of the youngest member of the family, who . by now had a decent sunburn to go along with his teething. The Blank’s always “got along” rather well together’ but, a few sleepless nights began to wear at their patience. They decided to stay up late at night, hoping that the combination of booze and exhaustion would act as a sedative. Cabaret- type entertainment was . provided for the guests and ‘during the course of the first evening, they discovered that the hotel also had its’ fair share of “swinging singles.” Mr. Blank, with the help _ of acharming secretary from -Yonkers, New York, discovered that he could do a passable “limbo”. Mrs. Blank “smiled cheerfully while she -gritted her teeth. ‘secretary had an amazing expanse of bosom which she displayed rather nicely while doing the limbo. When the tempo changed, she cuddled up to.-Mr. Blank So he'd get the full.effect. By five a.m. Mr., Blank had geared himself well for a deep sleep. He didn’t budge when ail hell broke loose next door at 10 a.m. Mrs. Blank, however, got up and went for a swim. While sunbathing round the pool, she met a charming man from Oklahoma, who needed a_ tennis partner. “Well, how nice of you to invite me,” she purred. (I'll get even with that S.O.B.) Neighborhood Every Wednesday evening from seven to nine p.m. the North Shore Neighbourhood House holds its Teen Drop- in program. Teens between 15 and 19 years are invited to come to the House at 225 East 2nd Street and participate in the program. At = present an average of 15 to 20 teens attend weekly. It is a good place for teens to meet and socialize with friends as well as being involved in planning and SPRING BREAK '79 AND EASTER '79 IN DISNEYWORLD’S ‘*FLORIDA’”’ fly Aw Canada’s to Ex. Seven Nights tor as Low as $699 00 Each of Two Sharing at the Internahonal Motor Inn EXECUTIVE TRAVEL at 689-7545 1060 W. PENDER VANCOUVER You'll Spacious L101! citing Flonda_ tor teen program choosing their own ac- tivities. These may include floor hockey, volleyball, ping-pong, pool, cooking, woodwork, pottery or just listening to music and rapping with friends. For further information contact Marsha Porter or Bob Rutzebeck at 987-8138. WAIKIKI $369 8 Nays. 7 Nights. A & Hore! WAIKIKI $469 V5 Days 14 Wighta Aer & Hote! LAS VEGAS $179 6 Daya 4 Nights. Av & Hote! RENO $189 8 Days. 7 Mighta, Av & etutes RENO $159 S Daya 4 Mights Ai & Hoter MEXICO $559 15 Days 14 Mights Av a Mores CENTA Tours 1666 Robson Street 10507 K. Geo. Hwy. Surrey 689-7117 Reg Travel AQent No. 157-3 Two weeks later, barely civil to each other, they boarded a plane for home. The last I heard, they had ~ agreed to separate. (She got the cat, he got the dog.) There is, of course, a moral to my story: Choosing a vacation spot. needs a lot more attention than some of us give it! Too often, we look at brochures and marvel at the well-appointed and proximity to the beach. It pays dividends to look at . the fine print. If the resort offers extras. for family - recreation, the Blanks should have taken the hint and gone somewhere else. Where kids can go on the cheap, you can be sure that’ lots of families “will take advantage of the saving. This . planning a family vacation. rooms - & is the place to go if you are If the - brochures _ stress. things like “calypso all-night” or “meeting people”, assume that'a fair number of singles will be there, hoping for a “new lease om life. Tf the single women outnumber the men, look :out! (or vice- versa!) I've heard of a place! I can’t recommend it from personal experience but it sounds like the sort of spot Mr. and Mrs. Blank should have found, but didn’t. Calléd COUPLES, it specifies - NO KIDS, NO SINGLES! ' There’s a flat fee that covers airfare to Jamaica, (you can probably | stretch this to two weeks), all meals, - : all drinks with meals at the ~ bar, all sports and equip- ment, transfers and baggage ,handling, taxes, .service charges and TIPS, AND. EVEN CIGARETTES. Fora © week (seven nights hotel) it”. $1,600. per ~ costs about couple from-Vancouver. | - oe re I'd love to try it when I want a romantic vacation with husband. If I’m hiring a sitter to mind our kids, I sure-in-hell don’t want the problem of someone else's little gremlins: IF ANYONE IS GOING TO COVER ME WITH: A ‘GIKKY ICECREAM CONE, IT HAD BETTER BE ME! Eaton's Travel. seven nights accommodation OTN, K Page 33, January 21, 1979 “Sunday News ..because every child has the 4 right to smile 3 O79 pe International { Year of the Child . Unicef Canada AIR © SEA © LAND FLYWAY. HOLDINGS.LTD.. 1350. Lonsdale, N.V. 986-1377 | 8 - Tahiti, Russia or Spain. —s_ | _ Pick an exciting Springventure. Spacific Tahiti trom ° 1 524.°° : The sun-dazzling South Pacific. Island gems for the choosing. Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora or Huahine, your choice for deluxe two week sunventure. ” Departures every Friday. Russia von 1,029.00 Lenigrad, capital of the ancient czars. Viadimuir and Suzdal, both magnificent old Russian cities. And Moscow, over 800 years old. Explore them! Departures Feb. 1, 15, Mar. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29, Apr. 5,12, 19. Spain . from 781 .00 Leather, silver and ceramics. Flamenco dancers. And the quiet of sandy beaches. . Costa de! Sol offers yau everything to make your holiday un- forgettable. Leave Jan. 20; Feb. 15: Mar. 1, 15; Apr. 50r 19. Guaranteed Travel We've checked hotel facilities in all of these holiday spots and can tell you how and where to get the most for your travel dollars. Better still, when you book through *< + ot eal Ss * a e tur nie - ‘ we a a rr, Or ge ee ie | us, your travel arrangements are protected by the Eaton's Travel Guarantee. Remember, you can ‘charge it’ to your Eaton's account. ee pear menpmeneotnpantmnmnmnamnanmmmmenandiemsietesssametl RN Eaton's Travel Locations Pacific Centre 687-0055 Brentwood 299-5736 Guildford 588-4466 Lansdowne 270-1771 Nanaimo 753-0151 Park Royal 926-5555 Victoria 382-7141 Prices quoted are per person based on dauble occupancy where applicable and are the lowest available at press time They may vary according to departure dates and are Subject to availability at time of booking Price may not include aport transportation « taxes or hotel service charges. gratuites "See Supphers brochures tor terms and conditions of holiday YES, WE’VE BEEN THERE! ATON'S oy)