Most of Hayden Stewart's -
‘stories are sad—even the
ones that are supposed to be
funny—but this one is surely
the most dismal to date. .

It seems a young fellow
who had lost his job, his wife
and his car (this last as a
result , of the new. ICBC

rates), complained tearfully.

to Hayden that he phoned

Dial-A-Prayer and was . put

on hold. The terrible part
was. that’ he had ‘phoned
Dial-A-Prayer because he
had first:

there!
* ¢ * |

J presume you’ve heard of
the Dial-A-Prayer service for

page 2 -February 25, 1976 - North Shore News

phoned Crisis -
Centre—and was put on hold

atheists: You diai the num-

ber and. ‘nobody. answers.

* € ©

The Columbia Journalism
Review (a professional mag ~-.
popular among pretentious
reports and editors such as...

our own) has.a section inside

its back cover called ‘‘The.
-Lower case,’’ specializing in’
bloopers from headlines and_
in. “American

new ‘stories
newspapers.

’ My-.favorite so far is ‘ao
_ headline from the Richmond,

Va., News Leader. Referring
to the recent territorial

. dispute between — ‘Morocco'-
‘and . Algeria,
Leader ran a story under the

‘headline, *‘Moroccans. Hoist-

the

‘ Top that!

News

‘Fisg, Stop After 5”. Pilies.”

- - -

. & & &

Erie,

‘“‘Hirohito - Watches | Jets
Bomb Hapless Pate tziets.””

Sometimes I wonder. about
_ sportswriters. If they weren’t

so dumb, i’d swear they were =

trying. to: be Smart.
or a

-.

songs,

In the same section of the .
‘CJR is this zinger from the... —
Pa. Morning News."
Describing the attendance of:
_Japan’s Emperer Hirohito at
‘an NFL: football . game, the -
News — headed. the: story,

_movies and jokes about such
*- good old days’’ as the Dirty
- Thirties, the Wartorn Forties

and the Nifty Fifties seéms to

~ be on the wane? Ah well, I

guess. even nostalgia isn’t
what it used to. be. .

a oe

- Hayden happened. to re-

mark the other day that he.

gets the occasional call from

a psychoceramic. Fool that I.
am,’

‘I asked’ him. what. a

- psychoceramic. is...a: erack-

‘Have you noticed that the 3
_Spate .of, books, .

wo pot, of course.

e. & &

| ‘Speaking of: Hayden, I
notice-he made a crack about.

my age the other day. I don’t
want to.say that-Hayden is

old, but-he.was the advisor
x who answered a letter from : a

y Dear Sir:

Kelowna reader’ few years

back by telling him that if his
hardware store didn’t inspire

him, perhaps he ought to

take up public speaking.

e & ©

_ For those of you who‘have._|

been wondering why Speck-
ulations hasn’t occupied this
space for a couple of weeks,
it’s because North Shore
News pubiisher Peter Speck
has taken a well earned

vacation in Hawaii and San ©
_Frarcisco.

He’s back now, looking 7

disgustingly healthy and

relaxed, and should be in.

Speckulating form by next
week.

lessons . ‘now. offered “tor.
Backgammon, “Acey-Daueey, -
Trap, and the new: “player:
‘Cir-Gammon’ ” me

Group. Beginner Classes - =:
_ Tues Evening :. eas
Group A vanced: Classes - _
Thurs Eve ching. : ;
Private Lessons’ by Appoint:
ment.. ‘ .

: i :

‘ever 60 modsts: “t
from .
‘accessories - Inchiste on \
1%", 1%"? and 2'*. ‘countors|
in green, : red, . black, : brown:
yellow, orange,” >

pink, se

$998.8

books, feather dice cups and.

Of course, our thanks and

Se . ; : oo . ’ appreciation to all the apart-
Childminding excellent Se Eig pe Niue int commited ment manager who allowed

a dozen various size die
doubling cubes availabl o .
open daily 9- 5: 30 p.m Fri. —

til 10 pf moo _

our first attempt at canvass- ys into their buildings; many —
_. ing’ for the B.C. Heart of your tenants were waiting
__ Foundation. This proved to to make donations. A special
be a very-: pleasant and ‘thanks. to the reluctant
.'. fewarding experience. Our manager, who finally gave
thanks and gratitude to the his approval—more than

‘ ; Dear Sir: . :

“LT enjoy’ “my | hour or: soa

: I have read with: amaze: :
week of skating whilst my

ment the criticism of the

Recreation Centre’s child

minding facility, and wonder

if it’s the same place. Ihave

curing the past four years.

- Most children’ are left. in” -
the centre for less than two..

' fours, so the toilet facilities
are perfectly adequate for

those - “children” ‘who’ “need:

- them. _

' The staff are friendly ‘and
- competent, and at a cost of
50 cents.per hour, the facility |
-can't possibly ‘be self-supp- a

orting.

“This child-minding_ contre: at . tho North | Vancouver ‘Tola aight; Secretary,
Recreational Centre fs not intended asa

babysitting service for parents S wlio particlyni

programs.

noe core arene fon cee at

horch Vancouver lonadela ave

VIM ws

000-081 1

Fourded ‘In. 1069 , a8 an indepéndent;
community newspaper, tho North * ‘shore
: Nows Is published weekly, and distributed «|
to every door-on the North Shore.. Atlee
 yegleterad : ‘newspaper. under | Part’:
/' Sohedute til, nore Me of the Customs

and Excioe Act,
Circulation: 46 000 ‘

__ children. play happily too,
-and. would be. very ‘ill-dis-
- posed® towards any
-- been leaving my* children

busy- —
‘bodies. who would try to get”

‘the © facility closed down. oe

child. minding s ‘staff.

Cynthia Crajapton S
2698 Woodbing Dr.
North Vancouver: ee

roc

" Perhaps: 1 could take ue heed
“public ‘opportunity “to “say *
“thank you to. the Rec Centre .

Gan. .28):: and | share your. _
“outrage onthe subject of the:
-vanished-underground: ‘park-.
ing 2 at the ENB Or wn

* Gymnastics.

Dear. Sir:

“North $s ore. Region, 1 B.Ce:

"Gymnastics Association, *
__ thanks the: North: Shore’

: communities for their supp-' ; ;
"ort for” ‘our. Third’ Annual’. °°:

North. Shore. ’. Invitational:
‘Gymnastics - Competition :
held .Jan.2.31.. at. the North::

“Vancouver Recreation Centre.
Gymnasium. We apologize to
. those that were turned away:
- because - of. the |
Seating. -capacity;'. however, -
owe look « ‘forward .to’ your. :

‘Support next. year, rr

 @ _ with gymnastics coaches, as:

‘a west coast high” level:

' ~ competition, and. with ‘spec-,’

At ee ee

: pubitsher”’
Bia .

I 4: nastics.’ So

+ 7 Assistant Pabilsher

i :
Heather | ’ Androws, "
¥vanne.Chapman, Carolyn Coteclough, Helen’
; Bn lékoy,' Linda. Douglas, Faye Flynn,‘ Paula 7
To" Ford,’ Murray ° Forster, Bob ‘Graham; Linda: ‘
Groon, Wendy, Green, Caro! ‘Hassan, Barbara |
“Haywood Randy Hilthouss,’-Bornié ‘Hilliard, J
- Jonnid!,. Johnson, Torry. ‘Johnaon,.”
_ Keen,. Mike Koon, Botay Knight, Joyce Lowry,
; > Marna cotron, Madlaine Leroy, Fayo. McCrae,
so De SIE Ploga,; Maureen Roach, Mansoor Shivji,
“| Leigh: Anna’ Slym, ‘sylvia Sorensen, Flona |
~ Btowart,, Alan Twigd, Claire *. ‘Vandal, ' Carol
1 WiiKings +
(BG. 'g na largest weokly newspapor me North Vancouver:

Beery a8 |-a.” thrill-filled’:
“* evening - of women’ s gym-',

fa
in on

_ Peter Speck aoe

oa ” Rex Woyler |
Shane McCune
» Ellaworth Dickson

Patricia Cardio,

Barbara: ©

aN

‘limited:

7 ‘enjoyed ” ‘Speckuslations

eats This» ‘event. is becoming.
* more popular each year; both .

many pleasant people who.
donated to this very worthy _
cause.

. L
4

very’ pleasant. Really,it was |

a - our pleasure to be greeted at :

so.°many doors. by | very ~
“friendly people.. Your smiles»
helped: us forget the rain °
outside. _

og

Bigotry vile

‘The letter i in your issue. of
Jan. 28 from D.V..-Vincent of .
North Vancotiver’ was one of |
the most disgusting, bigoted:
‘and ill-informed bits.of drivel’
I've ever read. Bad enough
that cranks like Vincent write
letters like that without you
printing 1 them.

4

‘For Mr. Vincent’ s “infor--

"mation, it has been’ a long

time since Quebec had the
‘ highest. birth rate . in. the.
country. In fact, Quebec now
‘has the lowest. birth rate in
Canada. In other words, B.C.

benefits from the baby bonus

: more than Quebec:

ta

. raised
: descended from French stock: '
and I'msick and:tired of the

As far | as “erimie’ goes, ask

: a the police here if. our, per:
daycare,but as a . North Shore Region, -°).. (.: . P

In the contre’s “B. ec. * Gymnasties Aspe.

ta 4
ae ett pho. a vty we
Fanaa : o :

: capita crime rate isn’t worse‘
of, than Quebec's. Most: of the - 7
“> murders in: Montreal’ ‘are
~ thugs knocking | off ‘ other -
os thugs. -

There. are more
“‘nuts’’ shooting or. stabbing
anyone in sight, more rapists

1

‘| “and other sex offenders, and
|. more drug’ traffickers
f ’ Vancouver, in proportion to
“its population, . than any-
| where else in Canada.” me

in

". Althougli: 1 was. born and
in: B.C,, 1:

racial slurs directed ‘against:

French-Canadians by people —

who have ever lived in
Queb ec. ys

(Name withheld by. request)

7 Our thanks also to those. :
- ; Unable. ‘to give--you were.

‘am 7

‘$100. was collected in your -
building! Thank. you very 7
much‘: sir! . oo,

“Tom: & Helen Walton |
11-121: W: 13th St,
‘North. ‘Vancouver . .

1

687-9965,

"wishes to announce the opening aE
7 of her office for :

Suite 401, 145. East 13th a.
North V Vancouver _

a “ono SP
“126 Bidwell Streot, ;