. alternative, drum & bass : . Ukrainian Montréal, California a day in court THE following people _ have appeared in North - Vancouver provincial > court: . “Before: Judge Reginald Grandison on Nov. 24: ~Kurt Vincent Winsell, 36, of Vancouver, was jailed’ two years after he pleaded guilty to « the break, enter and theft of a - business in the 900-block of West 3rd Street ia North ‘Vancouver City. Before Judge. Bill Rodgers on july nh, 1999: William ; cMenamon, 39, of North. ‘Vancouver, was fined $250 after he fleaded guilty to pos- “sessing a stolen vehicle valida- : tag on April 29 in North Vancouver Ci City... ts on July 16, 1999: . Flora, Bosa,- .50,' of “Vancouver, was. fined $100 after pleading ‘Van : bylaw ; int : ting two chow dogs aise on Feb. 22 in the 100- block of Oxley Street South. John 20, of North Vancouver, | received 12 months’ proba- tion after he pleaded guilty to attempting to steal somethiug from a man’s vehicle on Feb. 19, 1998 in North Vancouver District. Richmond — was required to perform 20 hours of community work and pay $100 restitution. Before Judge David Pendleton on June 29, 1999: Ian Frank Olafson, 49, of Vancouver, was jailed one day after pleading guilty to: @ stealing items from Canada Safeway on Jan. 20, 1998; g failing to. go to court on . Feb. 10. Before .Judge Jerome Paradis on June 28, 1999: Steven George Heckmann, 35, of North Vancouver, was fined $300 after he pleaded | not guilty to impaired driving, but instead pleaded guilty to the lesser or included offence . of driving without due care and attention. ‘The original charge stemmed from a March 8, 1998 West Vancouver incident. Our Take a waik on IT’S tine to rejoice. You head to a new millennium with failing crime, low unemploy- Ment, 2 prosperous economy, no serious Y2K problems, and an imminent vigorous presi- dential campaign. Mostly, though, you rejoice that you have lived your fife well enough that once again, you do not appear in our roundup of the most disturbing, yet underreported news stories from the past 12) months. Congratulations. Here are the people who were not so lucky: Qo230 Person in 1999 Least Likely to Be Emulated: Thomas Hendry, 23, won the How far will you go? contest at Trader McKendry’s Tavern, Christchurch, New Zealand (prize: about $300 US), by stapling his penis to a crucifix and setting it on fire. Hendry said he needed to pay some bills and was inspired by an earlier contestant who merely pierced his foreskin with a safety pin: “I thought [ could do better than that.” Hendry’s mother was in the bar that night and said, “I’m just very relieved that he won. I would have hated for someone to go through all that and (lose).” 990 Can't Possibly Be True (1): The Nebraska Bar Association rejected Paul Converse's appli- cation, concluding, based on his law school record, that he is too obnoxious (“disrup- tive,” “abusive,” “intemper- ate, > “irresponsible”) even to be a lawyer. Ba0 We Probably Know Where They Stand on Darwin: The school district in Columbus, Ga., assigned aides to alter téextbouk photos of Emanuel Leutze’s Washington Crossing the Delaware painting because some grown-ups thought Washington's pocket watch, dangling against his thigh, night appear to fifth-graders to be the Founding Father's manhood. The aides located + matching paint and spent two weeks touching up 2,300 text- books. Officials in) Cobb County (Adianta’s northern suburbs) merely snipped the page from its textbooks. o00 Least Competent Criminals (1): Fort Smith, Ark., police charged James Newsome, 37, with robbing a Gas Well convenience store after identifying him from the surveillance tape and finding the robber’s distinctive coat in his car, Also important: The robber wore a hard har with “James Newsome” on it. 43239 Qualiry Time: Walt and Kathy Viggiano of Wichin, Kan., asked Judge James Burgess to return their four children from foster care fol- lowing their removal because of excessive unsanitariness of the Viggianos’ mobile home. Unlike many such cases, Burgess admits, the Viggianos love their kids, have nor abused them, and have no alcohol or drug problems. Also, according to police who made the initial investigation, Walt and the kids seemed to have warm conversations, even though entirely in Klingon (from Star Trek), Qagaqa0g Gun Control Is Working: William L. Straiter, 26, was charged with robbing the Centura Bank in Durham, N.C., but avoided armed-rob- bery charges because he mere- ly showed the teller a finely detailed drawing of a gun. Similarly, Richard Hamilton, 29, avoided an armed-robbery sentence in Ottawa, Ontario, for a $200 heist at a fast-food restaurant because his only weapon was a .32- LODGE “Sy January Value Special from $169 Double includes: Parking, studio unit with kitchen, fireplace, whirl tub, peol, jacuzzi. 100 yards to gondolas. Resarvations: 664-5643 Email: mst@whistlerweb.com Wednesday, January 5, 2000 —- North Shore News - 11 the weird side Elgin, [H., when an officer ree- ognized him as he showed up for a police ride-along, pra- gram he had signed up for. gaa Gad in Court: In March, a federal judge in Syracuse, N.Y., rejected the latest lawsuit by Donald Drusky of East vear battle against USX Corp. for ruining his fife by firing hins in 1968, Drusky addition- ally sued “God ... the sover- eign ruler of the universe” for taking “no corrective action” agzinst any of Drusky’s ene- mies, and demanded that Ged compensate him with profes- McKeesport, Pa., sional guitar-playing skills and in his 30- the resurrection of his mother. iCBC HAS A TEAM OF LAWYERS, SHOULDN'T YOU? } * All claims have time limits ‘,* Documents you sign can be used against you. 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