READERS OFTEN ask me
lately who should be the ,
next prime minister of our
country.

“Paul,”’ they say, sometimes
substituting affectionate
nicknames which, for technical
Teasons, can’t be reprinted here.
“Who is it to be, then? Kim
Campbell? Jean Charest? Jean
Chretien?”’

To which | can only reply,
“Pshaw!"" and again, ‘‘Pshaw!’’

Vote for whom you will when
the time comes, but my personal
favorite for leader is one Dr. Bar-
rie Osborne. Current occupation:
dentist.

The reasons aren't limited to
this man's wise insight into deficit
reduction (‘‘Don't forget to floss
those back molars.’’); nor his an-
swer to our failing economy
(‘Replace that toothbrush every
three months."’); nor even his
solution to our unemployment
woes (‘‘Rinse and spit in here,
please.’’).

No. The main reason | intend

HUGHES’ VIEWS

to push for his candidacy is
because he recently saved me from
death via persona! decapitation.
For the past week I’ve been
heavily into dental pain -—— an
abscessed tooth, to be precise —--
and I seriously considercd
hacksawing my head off as the

Publish more positive
news on today’s youth

Dear Editor:

1. would like to congratulate
Angie McGow on her letter of the
day entitled ‘“‘Promote the good
kids, not the bad ones’? (April
21), and also Scott Miller, G.
Fernandes: and . Jordan Creamore
on their letters in the same edi-
tion.

Shame on you, North Skore
News, for lowering your standards
to that of the rest of the media in

- the Western world.

Violence,’ crime and scandal
may sell, but your paper is
delivered free, so why do you sink
to this level of degradation?

We live in a world where dread-
ful things are happening, and the
media feed on our fascination
with them.

. It’s no wonder so many people
are. fearful, depressed or hide
behind a cynical facade.

,But good and positive things are
happening too,. so why not make
yours a ‘‘good news’? newspaper?

‘By all means publish the bad
news; we are not ostriches and we
‘need to know and be prepared to
face the evils in our area, but
could we not have 2 community
paper that emphasizes the good
and lifts us above the constant
Preoccupation with evil and
misery?

i The Blues Brothers, an original
“musical written by two Sentinel
teachers opened on Wednesay,
“April 21. The headline that. day
was “Gang violence escalates.””
". We’ve seen that type of
headline several times recently and
two articles on the builies who are
perpetuating this violence.
' The 100 teenagers involved in
‘The Blues Brothers have been
‘rehearsing hard for over three
‘months. They’ve given up
‘jweekends and evenings and have
“Succeeded in giving us some
: wonderful entertainment.
‘Why not a headline praising
_ these hard-working teens and
their dedicated teachers who con-
tribute so much to our communi-
ty?
West Van secondary has just

done an excellent production of A
Midsummer Night's Dream and
the Hillside students are staging
Phantom of the Opera very soon.

And I’m sure that many North
Van teens are also working hard
on equally interesting productions.

There are teens who are volun-
teering fo run summer programs
at rec centres or the Y, who work
for environmental issues, athletic
charity events, etc., and contribute
to our society by their caring,
laughter, enthusiasm and energy.

And they far outweigh the
handful of unhappy wretches who
go around destroying everything
they can.

So what abcut some new
headlines? Come on, North Shore
News, have the courage to be a
trendsetter as well as the publisher
of Doug Collins.

Let’s hear the good news!

Gina Charles
West Vancouver

Dastardly act

Dear Editor:

West Vancouver hes lost
(only temporarily, 1 hope)
one of its best merchants. I
speak of the Home Hardware
store in the 1700-block
Marine Drive in West Van-
couver.

The dastardly act of arson
committed on the premises
must be the act of jealousy
and envy towards a very suc-
cessful family business.

Since taking over from the
previous owners, this family
has expanded and grown with
the community, offering the
locals a well-stocked country
hardware at its best.

Nothing was too much
trouble for their know-
ledgeable staff.

Please hurry back in the
business; I miss you already!
E.L. Smith
West Vancouver

SORTER ZEEE

onty sure method to escape the
agony.

On a pain scale of one to 10, !
would estimate an abscessed tooth
to be around 42%.

To put this in perspective, giv-
ing birth to a 12-pound baby
would earn a slightly higher rat-
ing.

§ don’s claim to be an expert,
but-I’ve heard childbirth is tike
trying to extract a watermelon
through one nostril. A 43, if I’ve
ever seen one.

Male readers will have to
engage the imagination. Think of
being strapped down, spread-
eagled in the Blue Jay’s bullpen,
with one’s personal parts playing
the role of a catcher’s mitt. A 42
at least, J think.

Comparisons aside, suffice to
say, we're talking plenty of pain
here.

For five days last week | suf-
fered by eating nothing but bowls
of Tylenol and drinking four
glasses of Jiffy Tocthache Drops
a day. My face exploded outward
until | resembled some sort of

grotesque chipmunk.

Enter Dr. Osborne, pain-
eliminator extraordinaire, whose
skill at canal-building is exceeded
only by the genius who con-
structed Venice,

I confess to having a deep-
seated, almost primeval fear of
visiting dentists, somewhat akin to
how the first caveman must have
felt sitting around the Jurrasic
Park Dental Clinic:

“Hang in there, Flintstone,
while | freeze that tooth."

WHAAAM!!

“There. That awtta do it, Flint-
stone ... Flintstone?”’

This is a silly attitude, 1 know,
and probably accounts for my
week of dental agony.

“If you’d gone to Dr. Osborne
regularly, you wouldn’t be having
this pain now,” said my wife,
which was a real mouthful, con-
sidering | had my hands around
her throat at the time.

Let’s face it. Anybody can go
to the dentist every six moriths,
but it cakes a real man to admit
he’s a weak-kneed, lily-tivered

Well 7 thi ik that it's veal
Nice that our patents and the
teachers ate filly gett ng

together

coward.

As much as I hate bad postal
metaphors, | always wait until the
pain is pushing the edge of the
envelope of fear before finally
licking the stamp and mailing
myself to the dentist’s chair.

There really is no reason to feel
this way, as Dr. Osborne so com-
petently proved.

Modern dental practices virtual-
ly remove the possibility of suf-
fering, and | felt nothing in the
chair except an overwhelming
sense of relief. .

Aside from a slight disagree-
ment over the choice of anesthetic
(1 suggested a horse-syringe full
of morphine. He insisted on a
squirt of Novocaine), Dr. Osborne
and | got along famously.

As for the doctor’s political
aspirations, well, I’ve no doubt
he’s too smart to have any. But
should he choose to run, J, for
one, will back him all the way.

By the way, I say these things
freely and openly with little or no
thought to my next scheduled ap-
pointment.

Lincoln’s words of wisdom ring true

Dear Editor:

it is unfortunate the NDP are
guided by the thoughts of Chair-
man Mao and the scribblings of
Karl Marx rather than what a
president of the U.S.A. has said.

Among the many sayings at-
tributed to President Abraham
Lincoln are the following:

“You cannot bring about pro-
sperity by discouraging thrift.

“You cannot strengthen
weak by weakening the strong.

“You cannot help littl men by
tearing down big men.

“You cannot help the wage

the

earner by pulling down the wage
payer.

“*You cannot further the
brotherhood of man by encourag-
ing class hatred.

“You cannot help the poor by
destroying the rich.

“You cannot establish sound
security on borrowed money.

“You cannot keep out of trou-
ble by spending more than you
ear.

“You cannot build character
and courage by taking away men’s
initiative and independence. -

“You cannot help men perma-
nently by doing for them what

they could and should do. for
themselves.”’ /

If the present government in
Victoria were to abide by even a
few of these, we would all be bet-
ter off.

1 tried to find some words of
wisdom like these by any of our
former Canadian prime ministers
but failed.

The only prime minister worthy
of a quote was Pierre Trudeau,
with his famous words for the cit-
izenry, ‘‘fuddle-duddle.”’

Donald M. Currie,
North Vancouver