shee, S52 - Wednesday, May 9, 1990 - North Shore News Q. I THOUGHT it was my wife’s internal clock that was defeating my attempts to get together with her for sex, but a recent expcriment proved otherwise. 1 am on permanent night shift and leave home at 1! every night. Morning sex is out because she is out of the house to work. Evening sex is oui because she is asleep. I get the meai, I do the dishes, no matter — after dinner she sits down in the living room and as soon as I start io talk she is asleep. I thought it was because her estab- lished sleeping pattern made her sleep at that hour, but recently we atiended a convention and in the evening we attended a social gath- ering and she was wider awake than I ever saw her. I hustled her to our room and she seemed completely agreeable to having sex — and wide awake. But the moment she sat on the bed she was asleep. I tried waking her up, but she begged for sleep. What gives? A. Assuming that nothing she drank at that social gathering knocked her out, it would seem that she can come awake for any social duty or that she is highly stimulated by parties, even though her internal clock tells her it’s time to sleep. Remove the duty or stim- ulation and she is asleep. This may be true without help- ing you in your campaign to have sex with your wife. People who have more compatible sleep pat- terns often get in some nap time early in the evening and then both feet more rested and more in the mood to make love. In your case the conflicting sleep patterns seem very disccuraging to Attend to cat scratches immediately YOUR CAT may have caught a ‘bug’ lately. It’s called spring fever. At this time of year, more than any other, cats are likely to seek the great outdoors. Many may be tempted to roam a bit while others become very territorial. Many queens (unspayed females) are in heat, and mating activities are common in the spring. Com- petition for breeding queens and battles over territory inevitably result in more cat fights. Although some cats have alter- cations with neighbor or vagrant cats and have no problems, most will develop infections. These can be as simple as a sare foot or as serious as a deep abcess causing a life-threatening septicemia (blood poisoning). Regardless of tiow bad the infection appears (to be, veterinary consultation is advised. Obviously the sooner the problem is treated, the easier it is to treat. Recognition of potential wounds is easy if you had the opportunity to observe the fight (or hear it in the middle of the night!). Look for claw or bite marks in the skin (small cuts or punctures), possibly with blood or scabs associated with them. Be sure to check eyes and ears — if they are injured, your cat should receive veterinary attention right away. Cleanse the skin wounds with hydrogen peroxide or comparable antiseptic. Caution! Your kitty may be ore. Treat wounds two to three imes daily and monitor closely aml they are well pevied. You nay pe able to prevent progression ol the infection. See Cats Page 54 sex. Have you tried letting her have a relaxing tub and nap and waking around 10? ask Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer Skip that sleep-inducing heavy evening meal — just snack. This might work — but it might sot, and that could reinforce a feeling in you that just that one certain prospect is a sure sleeping pill for her. You need to guard against the feeling that anybody at a party is stimulating to her but that the thought of sex with you is a sure knockout. You probably should take her to a marital counselor to discuss what in your marriage may _Huetay, Hurray «May. 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ENVIRONMENT — A RUSH AGAINST TIME May 16 - 7:30 p.m. ADDICTION — A PERSONAL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM May 18 — 7:30 p.m. MARRIAGE AND FAMILY — A NEW [REND May 20 — 1:00 p.m. FREE FOR ALL — Enterrainment and refreshment to be provided PLACE: Lonsdale Quay Hotel, North Vancouver For more information contact: Baha’i Information Centre Tel: 731-8199 Sponsored by the Baha’is of North Vancouver District. Husband's advances a sure-fire sleeping pill |r he setting her against having sex. Q. My wife's father has never accepted me as a son-in-law. If we have dinner with my in-laws, ne takes her aside as we are leaving and tells her to preiend she’s tired when we get iiome so [ won't “‘bother’’ her. Almost every even- ing he phones us and not to talk fo me. ‘fs she there?”’ he asks wien I answer the phoae. He tells her he is her father and she can always count on him. The implication is that she can count on him for support in a divorce. I telf her if she wants a divorce, that’s one thing, but the next hus- band will make her father crazy too if he looks sexy. The timing of ihe calls is to disrupt any evi! campaign I may have going to get my wife into bed. She laughs and we do manage tu have sex, but what about this tele- phone harassment? A. Put in an answering machine with the message ‘‘We can’t come to the phone right now.”” Even if you two are playing pinochle, he will be sure you are having sex. And if any other callers are trying tu get you with an urgent message, you can pick up the phone. Q. I want to put our marriage back on the right track, especially to have sex more often, but whenever I get the idea of sex these angry thoughts come with it and put me off approaching my wife. A. 1 want you to make a list of your grievances against your wife and read it over several times. 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