32 + Sunday, Juiy 17 1988 ~ North Shore News DEAR MISS MANNERS — Please consider these addi- tional aspects of the pro- blem of properly addressing pecple: Difficulties often arise, even when the wishes of the individual are clear. I prefer informality xt work, but my loyal secretary has difficulty with this, because tradi- tionally the person in my position is addressed py title. Even though we’ve discussed it and have developed a strategy, the issue is a constant challenge for her. Often the manner of addressing individuals is associated with racisin or sexism, During a meeting where I must, for these reasons, at the individual’s request, address her or him more formally than the others, I am uncomfortable. ft may be guilt. It may be irrational that, along with the difficulty I have with names, I must now remember preferred titles. In any case, 1 in- wardly groan. Pomposity regularly enters the situation. An attorney friend of mine says that the demand of many physicians to be called ‘‘doc- tor,”’ even in collegial or personal contact, annoys him. He threatens to ask them to always address him | as ‘‘Attorney So and So.’’ Some © academicians and retired military officers want present or past titles used, Hidden or not-so-hidden agen- das are often part of title prefer- ences, Often when people inform me of their titles, they are implicitly asking for preferential treatment. On occasion, attempted intimida- tion is the motive. Under the cir- cumstances, the regulations that our agency enforces or the service options that we offer may become more rigid. GENTLE READER Miss Manners appreciates the offer of assistance and regrets to inform you that you are part of the pro- blem, not of the solution. You mistake the opportunity to express preference, within a limited ‘miss manners Judith Martin choice of titles (Miss, Ms., Mrs., Dr. Professor, Colonel, etc.) for a ‘Pacific Language Institute { #303, 1155 Robson St. ' Vancouver ENGLISH FOR INTERNATIONAL I STUDENTS & VISITORS | © Daytime - intensive & immersion © Evening - TOEFL, writing, pronunciation, conversation f° All levels - monthly registration J ° Friendly atmosphere-English only § Contact Robyn Inman 688-8330 Spats... a sleek halogen floor lamp.. provides a lot of light takes up little space. © 250 watt hal bulb included) ® Hi-low footswitch ° Qpat glass shade * Polished brass, chrome, white or black stem/base. ww, “come browse in. / one of the most price compatitive stores of its kind “7 in the west! [_ AAT INN — KOCH + LOWY state of anarchy, in which each person can set his or her own standard about the degree of for- mality, and unilaterally _condemn others by declaring evil motives for common usage. Formality takes precedence over informality. That is, everyone should start at a respectful distance and advance toward intimacy as relationships progress. Miss man- ners suggests you stop groaning and get used to addressing everyone at work in a businesslike way. Then get it out of your mind that the ilogicality of tradition is deeply symbolic. Physicians and members of the military are ad- dressed by titles because they are, not because they think they are better than lawyers (with their predilection for ‘‘esquire’’). People who inform you of their honorifics are likely to be doing so only in the hope that you will address them correctly; please give it a try. DESIGN SERVICE... J. Collins Furniture is always tailored to your good taste. If you have been reluctant to have a designer assist with your decorating needs, it is time you tried J. Collins Furniture's Design Service. Our designers are extremely aware of keeping your home yours.. not promoting their own tastes. Call 435-5566 for an appointnent. 4240 Manor Street Burnaby, B.C. : os ge The (ola he 9 North Shore Ze Firefighters THANK YOU! On behaif of the “North Shore Firefighters Hose Reel Festival” - 1988, we take this opportunity to thank SAVE-ON-FOODS and ALL the organizations that donated their products and services making this event a great success. The N.S.F.H.R.F. 1988 raised approximately $20,000.00 which will be distributed to: Lions Gate Hospital Society, Vancouver General Hospitai Burn Unit and the North Shore Rescue Team. The generosity and community spirit exhibited by all involved makes us proud of our North Shore Community. We recognize the following groups for their voluntary contributions: Save-On-Foods KISS — FM Westview Esso CKWX — AM Go West Campers BCT, U-Haul, North Van C.BC. 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