Douc CoLLiIns

o get this straight «

WELL, THEY’RE streaming out of the closet like a lot of
bunny rabbits leaving their holes. First Svend Robinson, the
Gay MP, and now Laurier LePce, the pansy performer on
CKVU. Who will be next? Me? Pat Burns? (I’m just joking,

Pat, honest!)

Just as Robinson's abnormal sex
life was no news to me, so LaPce's
was an open book, too. You can't
circulate among these people for
years without sniffing something.
And LePce was obvious.

Real men don’t go off to the
bleachers in a TV studio to have a
little cry, for instance.

ce

ing knocked out of the ring.

Three shows were especially
memorable.

Number One was broadcast dur-
ing one of those champagne and
caviar affairs that TV stations used
to put on at the start of a season.
It was boat-people time from
South East Asia, and LaPee was
all in favor of flooding the country

...Face-Of! had an audience, if only because
- there was nothing else like it in the whole of this
wide land. If may have been cruel and unusual
punishment, but people loved watching our pansy

hero being knocked out of the ring.

Let n me c explain.

Some years back, Harvey
Southam, the producer of the
Vancouver Show on CKVU, mat-
ched my humble self and Professor
LaPee in a series of debates called
Face-Off.

There were 13 episodes before
LaPce finally walked off the set,
refusing to box any longer. And
siation-owner Dury] Duke, not lik-
ing my style, had the show taken
off the air, Which didn't worry me
any. There's no fun in fighting
girls.

But Face-Off had an audience, if
only because there was nothing else
like it in the whole of this wide
land. It may have been cruel and
unusual punishment, but people
loved watching our pansy hero be-

Man jailed for
driving offence

A 21-YEAR-OLD Vancouver man
was sentenced Feb. 29 in West
‘Vancouver provincial court to
seven days in jail and fined $300
after he pleaded guilty to driving
while prohibited.

Dwayne Edmond Blue was orig-
inally charged in connection with a
Jan. 17 incident.

In addition to the jail term and
‘fine, he was prohibited from driv-
ing for a further six months.

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as

with such folk,

When | asked him how many he
planned to take into his house at
his own expense, he being such a
philanthropist, he blinked and
gaped like a fish out of water. |
gave him a couple more jabs in the
gut and walked off to have a
drink, there being a lot of
beautiful fems in the place about
whom there was nothing strange.

It was in the third or fourth
show that the victim went off the
set to have his little ery,

I was talking about Quebec, bi-
lingualism, and the outrages being
perpetrated against English-
speakers in that province, if talk-
ing is the right word. (I tend to
raise my voice on such occasions.)

LaPee squirmed and squirmed,

and towards the end of our four
minutes decided enough was
enough. Audience and crew
couldn't believe it, but suddenly he
wasn't (here any more.

The control room sent the screen
to black, as they say in TV land.
And up came the music.

This unequal struggle continued
for another 10 episodes or so. At
which time, as | say, LaPce called
it quits, On that occasion, the
show was barely a minute old. |
talked to myself but not to myself
for the rest of the allotted period.

it’s a pity someone can't bring
us back together again. (In a man-
ner of speaking, that is. )

I would love to ask hirn about
the dangers of a perverted sex life.

I would lave to ask him why he
didn’t come out of the closet years
ago. For he used to discuss strange
lifestyles while allowing the public
to assume he was a “straight.

[would love to ask him why it is
that 90 per cent of the carriers of
God's Botch (AEDS) are queers.

I would love to challenge him on
the claim so often made by his sort
that abnormal is normal.

It would be a great show, but |
fear it would never be aired,
Face-Off was live, you see, and
these days producers like to play it
safe by taping such things. They‘re
also not too fond of mayhem.

Meanwhile, { hope to see LaPee
and Robinson strolling through
Stanley Park hand in hand. They
would look lovely together.

P.S, Didn't f tell you last week
that the media would rally around
Robinson? Have I ever Hed to
you? @

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