~ mediately, ;
fashion, without -commen-

WEDDING DAY SCANDAL

Maid of honor less

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
A friend of mine attended a
beautiful wedding. But it
seems that after the lovely
* church service, on the way to

the reception, the bride was
made aware that her maid of
honor was less than
honorable.

As the best man stood to
announce and teast the Mr.
and Mrs., the Mrs. inter-
rupted and asked to give a
toast of her own:

‘‘Hold oan to your
envelopes. To my maid of
honor and the bridegroom,
who slept together tast
night.” She proceeded to
pour the champagne on the
groom, and left the recep-
tion hall.

This could have been a
very cruel joke played on the
bride — I don’t know. But
the gnests were in shock.

Do you think that the
guests, out of support for
the bride, should have left
the reception or tried to ease
the embarrassment by mak-
ing believe it was a joke?

I feel that staying only
supported what those two
had done. My family is in
quite a dispute over this, so
please answer quickly. What
was the proper way to han-
dle this situation? .

GENTLE. READER —-
Miss Manners often requests

. the difficult, in the name of

etiquette, but she cannot re-
quest the impossible.

It. would” be utterly im-
“possible for a roortful of
‘people who. had. just’.

witnessed the scene. you
described

in an-. orderly’.

ting on what they had seen.
In fact, if no one shouted

‘the obvious question .at the: ”.
of honor or. the- /
bridegroom, Miss Manners’...

maid

would consider that polite-
ness had triumphed.

(Incidentally, . what:. did
those. two ‘do? Throw..rose
petals at ‘the departing bride?
Open the dancing? You.
can’t
Miss Manners regrets having
missed this wedding —. only
in the interests of dignified
research, of course.) ~

We should. bear in’ mind
that we do not know con-
clusively what the maid of
honor and the bridegroom
did the night before, either.
Perhaps the bride might also
have considered this: It
would have been an ap-
propriate beginning test for
the faith she had just pledg-

I knowit can.”

to depart: im- .

imagine how much~

ed, for her to refuse to
believe rumors about her
husband.

But for al! we know, he
may have told her himself.

me and a young female col-
league out to lunch for Sec-
retary's Day. The maitre d’
was very aftentive to all the
tables with secretaries and

miss manners

by Judith Martin

In that case, only the eti-
quette question would be
left: Does one continue the
charade through the recep-
tion, and explain later that
the marriage was annulied?
One way or the other, it
would be impossible to undo
this mess inconspicuously.
Miss Manners would have
her etiquette license taken
away if she condoned pour-
ing champagne on one’s
husband’s head, or anyone
else's for that matter, no
matter what the provoca-
tion. She will therefore con-
fine herself to expressing
sympathy with the lady's
desire to get the whole scan-
dal over with at once.
DEAR MISS MANNERS —
1 am writing to suggest that
you address the matter of
men kissing all women,
whether they have a kissing
acquaintance or noi.

T appreciate a light kiss on.

the cheek from men whom I
have known for a while and
with whom my husband and
I have a very friendly rela-
tionship. I do not care to be

. kissed by someone I hardly ©
-know, °
. Last year, my boss :took . '

‘Our receptio.

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bosses, and when we rose to
leave, he came to our table,
took my hand and then the
hand of my young colleague,
and kissed each of us on the

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15 - Sunday, July 21, 1985 - North Shore News

than honorable

prevalence of phony friend-
ship that has debased both
the dignified Canadian
greeting of the handshake
and the intimacy of the kiss.

The cheek, as it were, in
this being done by strangers

and even those one ineets in
a non-social capacity, such
as the restaurateur, borders
on the insulting. {t presumes
that a fady is grateful for
any attention at all that sim-
ulates the romantic.

cheek. I was too surprised to
say anything.

Last week, 1 thanked
gentleman whom | do not
know for inviting me to 2
smal! reunion party for per-
sons who used to work in his
office. He took my hand and
then kissed me on the cheek.

I think men today feel that
kissing a woman is the potite
thing to do. I like to be kiss-
ed — by my husband, my
son, my son-in-law, and all
my male reiatives, but I do
not like any man to assume
the privilege because he mis-
takenly feels it is polite. f
wish they would wise up.

GENTLE READER —
Miss Manners heartily joins
you in deploring the

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