C4 - Wednesday, February 9, 1983 - North Shore News

ask hayden stewart

Son embarrassed

QUESTION:

A few months ago my
mother did a sort of kinky
thing and the kids - my
friends - found out about it

ing—it—inte—a

her, so that means | can't g0
along with the rotten things
the kids say about her.

1 can't stand it when they
use the nick-name they have

great thing to talk about and
joke about and to bug me
about. _

had not done it, but I'm not
mad at her about it. She's not
a very uptight person and
does things she wants to do.
] guess you could say she's
not very inhibited. I think 1
understand what she's like
and | admire her and love

CHAN

Not tradition

QUESTION: In May, my
fiance and 1 are going to he
married. We are discussing
whether 1 will keep my
maiden name or, in line with
the usual procedure, change
it to that of my husband-to-
he.

Neither of us fs rabidly for
or against the idea of my
keeping my maiden name,
but we are trying to think out
everything that has to do
with our marriage. We both
like some of the reasons
given for continuing with my
own name and are aware of
some of the awkward
situations that would occur if
1 did so.

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual. family or group counselling

7

STEWART:
You say you understand

your mom, and, although
you wish she had not done
what she chose to do, you

There's something — else
you might try too. When a
group of kids is carrying on
like your friends are. there is
usually a key person. a sort
of leader who keeps the
thing going. You might
consider having a talk with
her. Let her know it is very
very hard on you to have
your own friends perform as
they are, when you love and
respect your mom.

Tell her you think she
could help bring the whole
thmg to an end and that
you'd like her to do that. Tet
her to let it die because it is
unfair to you and you find it

min

THIS COUPON 1S WORTH oF 00-420 DO

for—-her—t think they really — admire ter and tove “her.

like her, but they've got

Great! That's the thing to do

ahold of something they cam = = with your friends too. You

smirk about and now that

what they're saying, they are
riding it to death. | think
what they're doing is far
worse than what mom did,
but it's pretty hard for me to
handle. Should | walk away
from them and have nothing
to do with them or what?

EBYC

Is there some important
issue about this question that
we ought to consider?
STEWART: I don't think so.
It is a matter of choice. I'm
not too keen on going
against tradition willy-nilly.
without intelligent reasans,
nor am I too keen on going
along with tradition = just
because tt is tradition.

Think it out and make
your decision in a way that
feels good to you both. If

one of you becomes
adamant, work it out
unhumiedly as a bn of

training for the years ahead.
I met a woman a few years
back who did not “beheve”

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don't need to like’ what

. buUT you can
understand them and accept
them as they are. You may
find that very difficult to do
because we always hate it
when someone is cnitical of a
person we love. However
that is a sort of basic aim for
you to have and to practice.

(as she put it) in changing

her name to that of ‘her’

husband, so (you'd better sit
down for this) she had her
name legally changed to his
name, two months before
the wedding!"!

Oh well!

Keep Canada
Beautiful

C

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