37 - Wednesday, November 18, 1987 — North Shore News

Book makes a great
Xmas stocking stuffer

1 STARTED my Christmas shopping last Saturday and,
among the throngs at Cap Mall, managed to find two
stocking stuffers. Since I’ve got four large stockings to
stuff, no one was impressed, especially the four recipients.

FTS Company
presents

BARKERVILLE ‘<a,

A World Premiere we
by Florence McNeil -

Then, as Angela produced a
bucketful of stuffing, Mark ex-
plored the turkey, frozen solid,
even after two days defrosting in
the fridge. Moreover, he

I tried to talk those big idiots
out of the ‘‘kid stuff,’’ i.e. stock-
ings this year and was greeted with
four, fat, pouty flower lips and a
chorus of, ‘‘But muuuuuuummy.”"
You may be interested to know
that these kids range in age from
19 to 24.

by Barbara
McCreadie

To make matters worse, I gave
one of the stuffers away.

It’s a book, Mother Murphy’s
Second Law: Love, sex, marriage
and other disasters by Bruce Lan-
sky, $4.95. I got mine at Coles in
Cap Mall.

Among its bits of wisdom:

*No matter where you hide
your sex magazines, your teenager
will find them.

© The man who no longer finds
fault with his wife is a widower.

* The best contraceptive is a
good fight.

When he sows his wild oats it’s
time to cook his goose.

* .%

Speaking of stocking stuffers,

here’s Barbara’s Law: You know.

the damn kids are too old for
stockings when you start adding
cookbooks and Playboy maga-
zines. I’ve said it before and Vil
say it again: ‘‘This is the last
bloody year!’’

**¢s

An old friend of mine dropped
by with her daughter, 18, after my
shopping trip. The daughter broke
us up with her version of last
Thanksgiving’s turkey.

Since her parents were going
away for the holiday, she and her
boyfriend decided to cook a turkey
for his family — i think it included
even Grandmom. Before my friend
left town, her daughter handed her
the bird and instructed her to write
“Top” on the side that roasts
“tup’’,

Boyfriend, in an excess of zeal,
removed and garbaged the wrap-
per. ‘Do the legs stick up or do
the legs point down?’’ Somehow,
I'd never considered this dilemma.

© Adjust dig
© Full Warranty—Parts & Labour,

“Plus PST where apphcable. Otter exo -es Nov. 27, 1967

install the best]————_——
GENUINE NISSAN PARTS

Nessan replacement perts nas been greatly
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From Anternators to Carburetors. From Floor Mats to Body
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NORTHSHORE NISSAN LTD

1960 GLARIE BRIVE, NORTH VANCOUVER, 8.C. V7P 159

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8:30 A.iA. to 5:00 P.M.

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discovered the neck end and look-
ed at the mountain of stuffing with
dismay.

“How do we get all that in
here?’?

Knowing there had to be an
answer, they doused the bird in a
sinkful of hot water. Ah hah!
There is another end to this story,
and to the turkey.

The dinner, reportedly, turned
out marvellously but I can imagine
those two kids with one hot-on-
the-outside-frozen-on-the-inside,
slippery turkey, trying to remove

See Buy

ees iii, fas: eH

P165/80R13
P185/80R13
P185/75R14
P195/75R14
P205/75R14
P205/75R15
P215/75R15
P225/75R15
P235/75R15

YW! waranty
| © Viorkmansnp ;
Matera! Warranty [h

Bie Le re
“ES

Save 7.99 on plastic

up alarm, Reg. 19.99

12.

°60.

with storage case.

license frame with back-

2-ton Trolley Jack has roll
about wheels. Comes

280-4444

Nov. 18-Dec. 12

Also our Canadian
Mini-Series:
“Of The Fields Lately”
by David French
until Dec. 12

Call for reservations and
ticket prices:

986-1351

Chai:3¢ by phone VIC/ICBQ

333 Chesterfield
North Van

Weather Mate

Premium
Features polyester steel
radial construction for all
weather traction anda
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savings: P155/80R13, reg.
74.88. ea. $52

Your choice .

Only s 5.

Leather Steering Wheel Cover. Fits most cars.
Black or brown.

Portable Plastic Car Shovel. Lightweight"
detachable shovet.

Save 1.99 on Wiper
Blades. 16 and 18°°.
Limit 2 blades per
customer.

PRICES EFFECZIVE (WHILE QUANTITIES LAST) THLL ve HOV, 24, 1987
A 9PM TL

NOATH VANCOUVER:
Capilano bAail

925 Marine Orive
North Vancouver 988-5641
Mon., Tues., Wed

00 lO 130 a.m.-6 p.m.

CHAISTMAS HOURS
STARTING NOV 16
BURN se}

~ AUTO
SHOPS
NOW OPEN

on, | 8AM.

730 a.en.-9:30
Saturday 9:00 a.m.-
Sunday 11:00 a.m.

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Gneco mate culate Tera s Contre
= Surrey 585-8328

Mon. tor Fi.

MON.-SAT.