7 eae a

ce

beautiful thing. It contains

subtleties that. defy. descrip-
tion. It is a Pandora’s box .
that opens at the touch of a°
writer’s hand ... and lets:

forth demons that drive the

writer mad when he attempts. .

to build a story on them. |

They are. the | nouns. tliat
define the. emotions “which .
_ are, at the end, the sum total.

of our rather. fleeting lives..

Consider, if you will, a life.
without pity, love, sadness,
humour, satire, wistfulness .

the list is endless! I’ve

tried them all. Sometimes - I.
win; sometimes I lose -- and:

my shoulder to say that
another story waits untold i in
an emotion 1 missed! _

But a writer’s hours are
not endless and his years are

too few for all the stories that

must. be told. He must pick

the. crumbs as they fall and.
build another story, while.

there is yet time ... and ‘this

brings us to the crumb that.
fell into my mailbox a few |

days ago and the one
emotion which (as my. little

demon says) I have never
built a story on. It’s called.

IRONY.

SPeeX

_ The crumb that alighted in
my. mailbox is from the
Canadian Railway - Pension-

ers’ Association. It is com-.

plex: It boggles a mind that
has difficulty with the family
Hydro bill. It is a Machiavel-

lian torrent of figures: and _

facts that challenges the

_ latest spy thriller. From it we

will take only.a crumb or two,
to construct a story defining
that demoniac word for all
time -- and to confirm the sad
fact that writers DO exist on
crumbs! —

week

The document suggests
that Canadian National Rail-
ways is in the glue for
$371,000.000 from the Pen-
sion Trust Fund. Unless
paid, it seems, the Pension
Fund becomes insolvent.

. Thusly (having had its butt

scorched by the irate pen-
sioners) the Federal Govern-
ment...arose briskly and
fanned out the flames with a
Commission of Inquiry on
Railway Pension . Plans

headed by Dr. Noel Hall.

This quaint’ exercise in
parliamentary _ tactics is
closely akin to grasping a
greased hog firmly by the
midriff -- and trying to hang
on

In short, it seems in the
past to have generally.
resulted in a Judge of the
Supreme Court exhausting
himself over several months
(or years) in the outpouring
of a ton or two of bleached

‘and processed hemlock.

Thereafter, having produced

The English language i is a 4

of Chargex.

to: harness,

ft when:.we . note. briefly. the.
Profit ‘and. Loss * Statement’
- from the. Pensioner’ s: ‘Associ ;
ation Yeport: ” oS

a beautifully explicit. and.
detailed. finding, the Judge -
- presumably: would repair toa

there’s always the demon on - less frustrating scene, usual- = --

ly associated with warm sand-
and gently waving palms.

Everybody is’ happy! The

Judge can repair his shat-
tered nerves without benefit _
The . Federal a
» Government (which has long’ ~
since. forgotten about the .>
-matter) can put the several ..
_ bound volumes of the Report.
--in a filing cabinet within the -
‘bowels. of the Parliament
Buildings, disturbing only a.
family of mice. busily con-. -
structing a nest in the reports -
of a Commission laid down i in

1937. °

It could, of | course, be.
much worse. A young report-

r, still slightly damp behind
the ears and not yet broken

FERENT. It enters. the world

of the mystery story and the.

whodunit with a ‘Private
Member’s Bill reportedly fed.

the Hon. J.P: Guay, M.P., by. .

the Canadian National Rail-
ways which (if passed) would

have exempted C.N.R. from >

the legal obligation to pay a
sufficient amount into the
Pension Fund to maintain
solvency. The curious ques-
tion arises: how did the

‘wording of the Bill neatly
anticipate the finding of Dr.

Hall’s Report, not officially
released until months later,
on January 20th of the
following year?

That was when he dropped
the bombshell: ‘‘...the Trus-
teeship of both C.N.R. and
C.P.R. pension plans be

‘removed from the hands of
the Boards of Directors and —

placed in the hands of an

independent Trust Com-
pany...’””
Fortunately, it would

seem, the Pensioners’ Assoc-
iation found that a bit of
fancy footwork was going on
behind the scenes and wrote
members of the Senate and
Commons. Bill C-228 was

hastily withdrawn, although — |

it had passed first reading.

And in our pursuit of the
frustrating definition of
IRONY, we are getting
within sniffing distance --/
because the Hon. Mr. Guay
was shortly thereafter hois-

Display Advertising Sells
980-0511

“ SARDONIC! -
must turn to Mr. B.H.
_ Emerson, who- enters this.
vale of tears as Assistant
t Pilot
Mound, Manitoba. in 1901.

existing on: a- pension of
$83, 33 a month!

could.. have ©
disclosed that the mice were

on the Federal: payroll! . DENT | OF.

‘PACIFIC.
"But this ‘report’ is. DIF. :

: te ted into: ‘the: “Bortfolio of A
. Minister of ‘National Reve-
. mue! » OU ER Le

We ‘might: get e even. closer

- “Membership” “ques. : re
ceived: A976 --+ $80. 00°". ne

een

defining... IRONIC

. and ‘merely. qualifies . ‘as
For that we

Station Agent at

After. 46 years he retired in

Neatly Thirty ‘years. later
Mr. -Emerson - died, - still

ma

And now we can, at long ©
last, finally define the -
meaning of my. elusive |

het

demon, IRONY. ; . ve

“HIS SON, ROBERT A.
EMERSON, WAS. PRESI.
_ SANADIAN.

date: July 23, 1978

starting time: 10:30 a.m.
course:

Pier.

_ Alternate: course for lack - of
wind will be to Point Grey Bell
Buoy and return.
deadline for entrants; July 15

entrance fee: $10

| * Clearing Carpet & Lino to make’ room
| _ for expansion. arr ot

That is somewhat. short of

. (some.
three: Hundred Million short)

It’s the first annual North Shore News.
Joshua Slocum Memorial Mad: Dash! .
Sponsored by North Shore Sailing. School Ltd.

from: Dundarave Pier ‘to Point .
Grey Bell Buoy to Passage
Island & return to Dundarave

UP To a

On Brand Name
Rolls & Roll Ends.

ee *Crossley: Karastan”
~~ *Canadian. Celenese.
- *Westmills — oo
oa Armstrong

“Over: F100 F Rollends & Short Rolle en,

6 4 & fax
“Cash & Carry - Chargex “Mastorcharge _

_ (Bring Your Measurements) —

And 27° x 54" Mats

Nt d Nhe
a,

nite A h

¥ WT

ail

vB Y

ae a 1

: atl An

| ti Nita
HA

NAME: last first middle

" ADDRESS: number street : clty._ postal code
PHONE NUMBER:.228 bus.
TYPE OF VESSEL: NAME OF VESSEL:
RIG: SEERA Os CRC RATING iF ANY:

L.A. imal DO YoU HAVE A RATING CERTIFICATE:.
L.W.L.

INVENTORY ‘OF SANS AVAILABLE FOR USE:

NUMBERS ON SAIL IF APPLICABLE: .

LCL CL LLL LNA LANA ANNONA ATLL CELULAR NCCC aleNNeNsiUttMLtN ltl NObineelth Mia isnananieeonipimpnnaaylinoie

submit enteles and $10 fee to:

North Shore Sailing School Ltd.
#201-1139 Lonsdale Ave., -
North Vancouver, B.C, V7M: 2H4