ere’s a real Hollywood epi

Tr
‘acLean

s ALTHOUGH it is
me almost blasphemous to
a. say so in the pages of
m. this distinguished
“newspaper, Doug
- Collins can be wrong.

He was wrong, at least in
art, in the famous column
n. Hollywood, and the Jews
ho largely control it, which
caused so much uproar and
xpense and which in turn
ave made B.C. the laughing
‘ock of the free world and
hich have done. even more
; than the mountebank antics
Premier Glen Clark to
convince the world that we
BSare one of the last reposito-
ries of half-witted, half-
*-baked socialism. ~ .
Doug, you may remem-
ber, complained among
‘other things that Hollywood
-Avas less than fair in its cov-
rage of events surrounding
the Nazi era and the Second
World War, devoting, in his
opinion, a disproportionate
amount of production to
rious accounts of the
palling and terrifying fate
that overtook so many of
their co-religionists at the
hands of the National
Socialist homicidal maniacs.
“Well; Doug, little did you
hat, even as you

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wrote, Holivwood was pre-
ducing a $100 million epic
celebrating a close admirer
and supporter of Adolf
Hitler.

This man, who is still
with us although getting on
in years, was so keen that he
joined the infamous S.A.
(the “Brown Shirts”) when
it was still an illegal organi-
zation in his native Austria,
that is, before the infamous
Anschluss.

The SturmAbteilun,
under the leadership of the
brutal and evil homosexualist
Ernst Roehm became too
much even for Adolf, and
Hitler had most of them
shot out of hand.

Qur hero hastily joined
the rather more subtie but
even more evil S.S., where
he rose to the rank of S.S.
Oberscharfuehrer and had
his photo taken with Adolf
himself as the very symbol of
Nazi perfection.

“It is a priceless reward
to see the Fuhrer and to be
permitted to speak to him,”
he wrote at the time.

Our hero, for some rea-
son, escaped the attention of
Simon Wiesenthal and our
very own Bronfman, former
booze pedlar and now, irony
of ironies, Hollywood big-
shot.

Our hero got lucky.

He was spared the hor-
rors of war because at the
outbreak he was on British
territory, and they promptly
arrested him and flung him
in jail.

He escaped and, after
harrowing ddventures for
which he is the main source,
he made his way to Tibet
where he spent the war as

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tutor to the Pl-year-old
Dalai Lama.

Yes, folks, we are talking
about former S.S.

* Oberscharfuehrer Heinrich

Harrer, who is so movingly
portrayed by Brad Pirt in the
movie Seven Years in Tiber.

Hollywood is now urging
you to see this $100 million
epic to help recover the
expenses and make a modest
protit for the producers.

I wonder if Lionel
Kenner and Bernie Farber
and Ms Mary-Woo Sims and
human rights adjudicator
Nitya Iyer and all the rest of
The Happy Gang will be
going to see it?

Heine Harrer, by the way,
has fessed up to his past
which he attributes to
youthful crror and folly, but
since he was 27 years old at
the time, one wonders.

The former president of
Austria was only 18 when he
was conscripted into the
German army, but Bronfman
and the boys sure did a
number on him.

One option would be to
withdraw the movie and
destroy the prints as a sym-
bol of repugnance and the
sensitivity to pcople’s feel-
ings we hear so much about
these days, but with 100

million of Hollywood's del-
lars at stake well — what do
you think the chances are?

However, if the producers
would like to redeem them-
selves, how about a movie
about a real hero and deadly
enemy of the Nazi hordes
who fought them tooth and
nail, repeatedly defying the
worst they could do to him,
escaping not once from the
hapless Brits but 10 times
from the deadly Gestapo
itself?

Yes folks! How about
“Doug Collins, Freedom
Fighter!” .

The thrilling story of ho
a simple country boy
answered the call and joined
the “Glorious
Gloucesters”to fight the
Nazi villains to the death!

How he and his gallant
comrades were betrayed by
the perfidious and cowardly
French army at Dunkirk
while Pierre Elliott Trudeau
was riding his motorcycle
about Quebec dressed in a
German uniform complete
with steel helmet.

How after his 10th escape
he made it back to Britain
and returned after D-Day to
hunt down Nazi war crimi-
nals just like Bronfman and
Wiesenthal but even before

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Wednesday, November 12, 1997 — North Shore News ~ 7

they did?

What an epic movie it
would make!

Maybe we could ger Sean
Connery to play the vouth-
ful Collins (in a wig of
course) and Mary: Woo Sims
could be written in to pro-
vide the love-interest,
though, on second thought,
that might not be a good
idea.

In any event, if
Hollywood can make a hero
of Oberscharfuehrer

Heinrich Harrer, “Doug
Collins: Freedom Fighter!”
would be a shoo-in at the
Oscars and a worthy succes-
sor to Schindler’s List.

*Nichr wahr,” Heinrich?

— The North Shore News
believes strongly in freedom of
speech and the right of alt
sides in a debate to be heard.
The columnists published in
the News present differing
points of view, but those riews
are not necessarily those of the
newspaper itself.

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