Favourite food . . . . .soyo cheese and
: mustard on a bagel
Activities ..... . .dancing and drawing
Travelled ...... . . . .Australio, US.
have fots of dogs!

GOVERNMENT ia Action:
After Ivery Coast's soccer
team wap eliminated trom the
African Nations Cup in
January, the country’s military
ruler, Gen. Robert Guei, had
the team arrested and put in a
military prison tor two days.
Addressing the players, Guei
said, “I asked that you be
taken there so you reflect
awhile. Nest time (if you play
badiy) vou will stay there for
military service ... until a sense
of civic pride gets into your
heads.”

‘oup of athietes and
administrators of the tradi-
tional Turkish sport of oit
wrestling (grappling contests
made more interesting by
heavy applications of olive oil)
protested to the government
in April when they discovered
that an organization of gay
men was planning to attend a
major tournament in July near
the city of Edirne to ogle.
(According to a Reuters news
service reporter, “Putting a
hand down the opponent's
trousers to get a better grip is
a common tactic.”)

Qgg

In January, a Philadelphia
city-funded community orga-
nization published a pamphlet
on health and safety tips for
prostitutes, which recom-
mended always getting on
top, negotiating price before
getting into a car, and getting
the money in advance.

Also in January, a member
of the Canadian Parliament
released a list of recent pam-

phlets directly funded by the
government, including “How
to Communicate With the
Dead.” “How to Stimulate
the G-spot,” and “How to
Understand and Enjoy an
Orgasm.”

3s$343
Despite many anti-smok-
ing programs sponsored by
the U.S. government, a
Senate subcommittee found
last year that the Department
of Housing and Urban
Development had spent $4.2
million since 1996 to help
American Indians build dis-
count cigarette stores as part
of the federal community
block-grant) program. (In
April 2000, legislation was
introduced in the Senate to

end the practice.)

Q03

In January, a New York
state administrative law judge
ruled after four hearings in
three years that Krystyna
Maliszewska, 51, of Brooklyn
was not eligible for worker
compensation because she
had not provided the proper
“medical evidence” that her
leg had been amputated (even
though voluminous hospital
records were in her file).
Maliszewska attended each
hearing and could have shown
her artificial leg and the stump
that ends at her right knee but
was never asked even to speak.
(After a February New York
Daily News story, the state
quickly reopened the case.)

O00
People With Issues:

Wednesday, April 19, 2000 - North Shore News ~ 1f

Wynema Faye Shumate, 65,
was arrested in Ladson, $.C.,
in March on two charges of
mishandling a dead body. The
case came to tight when 2 27-
year-old Englishman flew to
America to marry Shumate
after a hot Internet romance
but discovered that Shumate
was not the age-30ish woman
she had portrayed online.
According to police, when the
man asked Shumate if she had
other surprises, she told him
about the carved-up body in
the freezer, which was that of
her male former housemate,
who Shumate said had died
the year before of natural
causes. Shumate was cleared
of causing the death, but,
according to the Englishman,
the wedding is off.

ao9

In a case unique among
women who keep too many
cats at home, a judge in
Fairfax County, Va., told U.S.
Navy program analyst Kristin
Kicrig in November that she
could keep the 104 cats that
sha.e her Annandale, Va.,
townhouse because the house
is appuzently clean and the
cats groomed and in good
health. Kierig produced med-
ical records on the cats,
showed that she cleans the
101 fircer boxes twice a day
and keeps the 15 water bow!s
and 20 food bowls stocked,
and said she can recognize
each cat by name (but she did
confess that her house might
have en “odour”).

aqaog
Recurring Themes: News

What would the Canucks have got?

of the ird has regularly
reported highway truck spills
ever the vears, but oa
December spill in Providence,
R.L, interwove another News
of the Weird theme: the tack,

wayward public official.
Rhode Island Department of
Transportation maintenance
supervisor = Thomas — E,
Jackvony Jr. was charged with
larceny because, according to
police, when he was supervis-
ing the cleanup of grocery:
store items from an 18-wheel-
er’s spill, he also grabbed
whatever items he could and
puc them into his car. Police
recovered 15 packages of
cookies, 15 home electronic
scales and 20 cassette tapes.

a090

Also, in the Last Month: A
man in a wheelchair and wear-
ing a beanie robbed a Wells
Fargo Bank, instructing the
tellers to fill the beanie with
cash (Pleasant Hill, Calif). A
woman won $171,000 from a
jury for slipping on a piece of
broccoli in a Grand Union
supermarket (Bennington,
Vr.). A Washington, D.C.,
police officer was found guilty
of sexual assault, becoming
the 16th officer on the force
in 15 months to be convicted
of a crime. The Ohio liquor
control agency banned as
offensive the Belgian ale
Manneken Pis because its
label features a boy urinating.
At least two viewers smashed
their TV picture tubes trying
to kill the high-definition
cockroach crawling across the
screen as part of a recent
Orkin commercial.

iCBC HAS A TEAM OF LAWYERS,
SHOULDN'T YOU?

¢ All claims have time limits
* Documents you sign can
be used against you.

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